Talk me though your really premature birth.

[WorzselMincepieYummage]

I am currently 24+5 with a baby who's likely to be born soon due to pprom. He's currently breech and the consultants said if i go in to about before 28 weeks i'll be able to have a vaginal breech birth which i am happy with, if he doesn't turn after 28 weeks then i'll have to have a section and i am fine with that too.

I am just wondering how really prem labours work.. i know thats probably a stupid question but do they take as long, are they as painfull and will i be able to move around etc etc.. will i even have to push ?

My daughter was born at 32 weeks and my labour was as i imagine a term labour to be, i couldnt move around due to monitoring but everything else was the same. it took 4 hours, she was 4lb8oz and i went though all the stages and it really bloody hurt. This baby is likely to arrive long before then so i excect it to be different but dont really know what to expect.

Another worry is that if i need pain relief then i dont know what to have, i had meptid and gas & air with dd but i was so off my head for a lot of the labour i dont really remember it. I need to be able to remember this one as our baby's likely to be very ill or be born asleep so i want to be able to remember it, not feel completly spangled, I am going to need my memories.

Would it be worth considering an epidural so i dont feel anything which is likely to alter my perception or is it likely to happen so fast i wont need anything ?

x sarah

WMY, I hope it gives you some comfort to know that there are people thinking of you. Our DD was born very early (emergency CC) and starts school next year. There is hope. Thinking of you, CB xx

worzel I had my premies in Liverpool it has a very good unit there. When I was in with my youngest dc the was a lady there who was staying in a family room on the unit as she lived out of the area. But I agree you will need the support of family and friends at this time as it is going to be hard enough without feeling alone in a place you don't know. praying your lo stays were he is for a good while longer.

i had my baby at liverpool womens. They have 2 really nice modern flats over the road from the hospital for out of area parents and 2 rooms on the unit that can be used if not really busy. The flats are for 2 sets of parents each so you get your own room and share a kitchen. The nicu has got one of the best reputations in europe and even when we could move more locally we stayed there as the care was so good.
my ds was born at 29 weeks and we stayed for 8 weeks. he is a very active 17 month old now who has just flushed his socks and his toothbrush down the loo and is shouting "more"!!

you are in my thoughts and prayers

hugs

Right, back home I can try this again!

If I was you I would try to stay in the WM, if they can get you into BWH they are fantastic and really good for breastfeeding, I don?t know any baby who came out of there not breastfeeding (unless the mother didn?t want to of course). They?re also able to take them that young; they couldn?t have me because the beds were full.

Liverpool is a good hospital. It?s the only maternity unit in Liverpool so it is very big and very specialist which is why they don?t have the same problem with beds and end up taking everyone else in! Because I was a transfer they had to treat me like I had MRSA as they?re free from hospital infections there. It meant I had a private room and because I had been transferred they gave my partner a couple of mattresses to sleep on and fed him too. I was led to believe they have facilities for parents (I needed clean clothes as I obviously hadn?t taken anything with me, but it took until the day I left for PALS to arrange it!) but they also told me as I was a transfer they wouldn?t be in a rush to throw me out. Remember, wherever you are, if they have Baby Friendly status keep saying ?I can?t leave, I need to be near my baby so I can breastfeed? it scares the bejebus out of MW?s who don?t want to do anything to risk their Baby Friendly status

The problem with asking for a certain hospital is that they may be full as well (sounds daft but have a look where we are in the moon cycle, for example hospitals will be full at the moment because Friday was a full moon, so that will effect how likely you are to get a certain hospital) they will be checking all the hospitals so if they offer you further afield you can be sure they?ve tried closer to home too.

Babyjamas, in the nicest possible way your post made me laugh. Not at you but at the way we look to ourselves for blame, the way I do more importantly. Me personally, I blame myself that Lily-Hope was born early and died, if I had taken my contractions seriously and gone in then maybe they could have stopped it, she was a healthy baby so if they could have just got a few more weeks out of her? because Lily-Hope was early my body is messed up with regards to timing and having a premature baby before I should have taken my contractions with Tink seriously and gone in sooner. If they?d have had time to get steroids into her because starting the drip sooner would have meant it worked, she wouldn?t have had to go on the ventilator and she wouldn?t now be a chronic asthmatic with near maximum drugs and still having three day attacks every time she gets the slightest sniffle. (I?m not looking for sympathy, just explaining why I laughed)

Lol sabi, hope you managed to sort out your toilet!

Just going back to the original post, my second baby was born a couple of weeks ago at 29 weeks, the labour was very like the labour with my first baby, which was pretty quick and not terribly painful. The most painful bit was waiting for my waters to break which took their time and created a ridiculous amount of pressure because I had too much fluid but as soon as they broke baby "popped out" without any effort. However up until the pushing stage (which was pretty non-existent) my labour was the same. Btw first baby was pretty much full term.

In terms of NICU, my baby was transferred out of Derby to Stoke for a week which was horrible from a travelling perspective however the breastfeeding coordinator at Stoke is lovely and very very supportive. So if thats one on the possible list the people are lovely.

What I found the worst was that I couldn't get a place either on the post natal ward or family unit in Stoke as it was absolutely packed (midwives in Derby were pretty cross about it too!).

However having been in 2 places over the past 2 weeks they do seem to be getting less busy so now would be a good time to need an NICU place by the looks of things!

Good luck with everything.

How are you doing now?

I have been following and praying. My ds was a 27 week section and dd a 30 week section, and sadly 3 others in the middle

I am not doing to well truth be told, its all seems so unfair. I feel like i am being punished for something

I think the babys still ok but i dont really feel him moving much, I use my doppler a couple of time a day so i know he's still with us and his HB is good and strong but i feel like every time i get it out i have to prepare myself for silence. I dont feel pregnant, I look pregnant but get no pleasure from it and i cant go anywhere to show off my pregnant self anyway which is something i was so looking forward to. I feel like a fraud.

Every day i get confronted with bump pictures on FB and the like and just feel so incredable bitter that i cant be happy like that. I feel like a real cow because its always me that goes though this shit.. miscarriages and all these bloody gynae problems. It took us 2 and a half years to conceive this baby and he's probably going to die. I just can't help wishing someone else in my circle of friends could have some suffering too and then i think, God i am such a bitch and the whole feeling like i am being punished starts again.

I just want to know one way of the other and if he's going to die then i want it to be over now, i cant stop thinking about it. Its almost unbarable.

I have a stinking cold too

Tinsel, Thanks for coming back to reply, I didn't even know BWH had a nicu. Hopefully they will be able to get me in somewhere near, I'd be much happier staying at home and it'd be easier for adams work etc.

I have been looking at the premature baby clothes online, there are some lovely things on there. I know if he stays in nicu then he wont need anything but i cant stop thinking about what he'll wear if he doesnt survive, i wouldnt want him just left with nothing on so i think we're going to buy him something with a nice shawl and then he'll at least be warm and hopefully i'll be able to wash him etc. I really shouldn't have to be thinking about any of this, no-one should

Oh WMM, you sound so down . This must be so hard. Hang in there and try to remember that every day is a bonus and every extra day is giving your baby boy a better chance.

they do and from everything i've heard i wouldn't go anywhere else in the mids (have met mums from heartless, city and rh who've shocked me) they have a lot transfered in too.

i could have written a lot of your post, i hate posting about things because i think how can anyone believe so much happens to me? i'm waiting to be called a troll! if it helps add me on facebook, i'm in the mn group, we can be miserable together if the worst happens i'll make an outfit for you if you want, i made lily-hope's, but in the meantime stay positive - i know it's easier said than done, my typing is terrible because i'm using a premier bedside tv from the antenatal ward after another false start!

Oh Worzel, I really feel for you reading your post. Prematurity is like a bereavement, you are robbed of so many experiences that many people are fortunate enough to take for granted. I don't think having been through it before necessarily helps because you know all too well how bad it can get.

I can't tell you that your lo will be fine as 25 weeks is still a terribly early gestation, but every day he stays in makes a big difference at this stage- about 5% per day at this stage if I have remembered it correctly.

No, no-one should have to think about the things you have written, but you are right to. When waiting for dd's arrival (I had no cervical length and was 16mm dilated at 25+0 but limped on to 27+5) the same thoughts went through my head. Discussing names was no longer a fun game, it was suddenly all we might have of her. I didn't want to hear people's miracle baby stories, all I cared about was my baby. Every kick reminded me that she was safe inside, but wouldn't be as soon as she was out.

But please don't torture yourself about the choices you have made. Take care and keep posting. Do post on BLISS if you want company- very few of us are poster girls for perfect pregnancies!

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I couldn't read this and not post.

You sound so down and that is perfectly understandable you are going through an awful time of agonizing waiting.

Try and focus on the fact that every day your little boy hangs on brings a better chance of a happy outcome.

I think buying him a shawl or blanket is a good idea not for the reasons you have given, but so you have something to wrap him in the first time you hold your beautiful baby. Use it as a postitive symbol and give yourself something to hold on to (literally).

Wishing you and your baby boy all the luck in the world.

{{{{{{{{{{{huge hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks for replying

I have kind of avoided this post and my one in pregnancy over the weekend because i guss i thought people must be sick of hearing about me now,It must make people worry for their own pregnancies and thats the last thing i want to do. Everyone deserves to be able to enjoy what is is amazing time.

Lizzie i had a look at bliss after DD and could never get on with the message board, I'll have another look though

Tinsel ( is it tink normally ? ) The troll thought had crossed my mind too, Fridays nights insomnia worry hour was mainly taken uo with the fact that people wouldnt thik i was lying because i said in my other post that my waters went at 22+4 on the monday but i was only 22+3 on the monday and people would have worked out my dates and been doubting me. Ridiculous isnt it.

Another false start eh, i hope they manage to stave off labour for a while ! Your lucky having internet by your bed, RHH dont even have televisions !

I wil look on Facebook but my photos chronical 10 years or so of partying hard so you will have to excuse them

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply. It really is nice to feel supported and also to know i am not the only one who'd been though this, I don't know how i would have coped witout it to be honest, you are all so lovely

No worries Worszel, just wanted to let you know it was there if you didn't already know as it's much busier than the prem boards on other sites. Troll? I have seen a few on this kind of subject and your posts have none of the hallmarks.

Do people troll about things like this ?

seriously

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I think it's extremely common if it helps. I still get v jealous when I see friends with their lovely big bumps and porky babies. The first time one of my friend's had a baby after I'd had ds, I cried my eyes out. It just seemed so unfair she was able to go home with her baby and not make the twice daily trips up and down to the hospital.

Thinking of you and your baby boy and hoping he hangs on in there for a while longer x

i could have so written half of your posts, glad i'm not the only one worried about being a troll!

don't worry about your pic mine is recent but i look peed off, i only had it took because i was the only one without one.

i've been stopped once and had all the steroids at 24 weeks when i first went into labour so they won't stop me now. putting me on the ctg turns her breech for some reason and that stops things happening. considering not coming in again until it's definitely happening.

Are you 33 weeks now ?

Being in hospital sucks doesnt it.. is the food good there ? the food at rhh was horrific, i dont know how they expect anyone to be healthy on it.. that god i wasnt ill !

Sadly yes, there have been a couple of hoaxes on BLISS that I have seen, generally I think instigated by people with pretty big problems of their own. Hallmarks are usually a total lack of detail about location accompanied by refusal to divulge any personal details at all and prem twins. The one I found really offensive was someone who fabricated a website and nicked photos off someone elses site, then posted that one of the babies had died. Not nice. But very much the minority - I can think of two or three in the three years I've been posting.

Thats very sad isnt it

You just reminded me of the same thing happening on Bounty though with prem twins who seemed to grow in to strapping 6 month olds over night.. i think people on bounty did a collection for that women aswell.

very odd way to get get attention really

I think most of us boggled that anyone thought that having a critically ill child was something that they wanted to experience. Yes, people are sympathetic, but I think most parents of sick or premature babies find it one of the loneliest times of their life. Doesn't help that every soap or drama serial seems to have a prem baby plotline at some point.

I know what you mean, they all do them so bloody badly too don't they.

Take Eastenders recently, when that baby was born there were 2 people in the room... when DD was born I swear the entire hospital was there egging me on and she was supposed to be more prem.

Roxy doesnt look rough enough for my liking either

food passes, but not sure what for! best meals are breakfast and tea - you can't much go wrong with toast or sandwiches!

there was something similar on sands and someone leaving condolences on memory of sites like they were a friend - eerie messages iyswim.

last time i had neighbours stressing me out with prem babiy storyline, this time i'm just peed off with eastenders!

ER had me in bits for just that reason....when dd was born there was hardly a sound from the 5 (count'em) neonatal nurses and paediatricians 15 feet away on the other side of the theatre. No helpful running commentary when you're putting a vent tube or surfactant down a 2lb baby's throat.

Nor will I entertain you with my own diamorphine/pethidine induced rantings

Ahh pethadine ..

My Mum was there when dd was born and i had a shot of meptid which is the same thing i think and spend the best part of an hour faling asleep then waking up and telling Df how much like pills it was and that he should try some and then falling asleep again .. all in earshot of my mum and all the drs/nurses/midwives [fcringe]

OK then.....I somehow thought it would be a good idea to start talking to the obstetrician about the Chelsea Flower Show......lol at your misspent youth coming back to haunt you!