Born at 24 weeks 3 days

[johnworf]

Katherine is now 5 days old and tiny. Really scared about every day and even every hour.

Any one out there experienced anything like this? Would appreciate any advice/support.

Thanks.

Oh jw - saw the thread title and thought this would be you. How amazing she looks in her picture .

No personal experience, but thinking of you, and giving this a little bump in the hopes of someone more experienced seeing it.

Hope everything goes well for you and katherine, thinking of you both.

congratulations on the birth of your precious little girl .

Have no direct experience of premature births, my cousin had a baby girl at 29 weeks, she is now a healthy 2 yr old .

I understand that "waiting" must be a frustrating and stressful experience. Taking one day at a time is something that needs to be learnt, I think, especially for a mother, who wants immediate reassurance. Look after yourself , and here are some hugs for beautiful katherine.

not quite as early - dd2 was born at 27 weeks and is now doing well. it's a horrible, scary experience and one i wouldn't wish on anyone. not sure if your probs with dp are related to the prem birth - but people cope v differently. my dh is someone who always sees the glass half full and i'm the opposite - it ceratinly wasn't easy. We had 24 week twins in SCBU with us - who both went home. sending you much love, your dd's picture brings back many memories!

kiskideesameanoldmother thanks for your support. I really do appreciate it and I'll email you later when I get 5 minutes !

Also the book suggestions - thanks! I'm going to have a look on Amazon later on and hopefully order them. I think a little insight into what's going on helps enormously. The hospital staff explain everything and are very thorough but to be honest, I don't understand half of what is going on and forget most of it as soon as I'm out of the door!

Thanks for bumping me CSWS Good to see you again.

She's 7 days old tomorrow and this is yet another milestone for me (I set myself little ones). The first was 24 hours, then 48, then 72 so hopefully we'll keep going in the right direction.

I honestly find the stories of premmies who have grown into strapping children inspiring and keep the thought in my mind when I'm looking at her and thinking the worst.

Congratulations! I've had no experience of this but my DS (who's now 4) was in SCBU after he was born for other reasons. He was very ill and it was a very stressful time for me, DH and DD (now 8). My DH, bless him, did not cope well. He hates hospitals as it is and he couldn't stand his son being so ill. I had a real struggle even getting him in to see his son, and when he did he was very awkward and stressy. I think men find it hard to deal with the emotion of it unlike us who just keep bawling our eyes out! What I found helped was not forcing anything from him, he concentrated his efforts on DD who obviously needed it at the time. Sending you my thoughts and best wishes.

many congrats to you Johnworf as youre on the Sept 08 thread. Im passing on lots and lots of wishes to you and DD.

A colleague of DPs wee boy was born at around 22 weeks I think. I know he was originally due about the same time as Tom. He was in hospital for quite a few months and is now a happy thriving toddler. Good luck with Katherine.

Just looked at your pic of Katherine and she is soooo tiny and gorgoeus. I want to give her a cuddle so I can't imagine woh you feel !! .

My next door neighbour is a litlle but very robust 24 weeker who is now 5.

Hang in there.

johnworf - another one here from due in September - just to say I'm thinking of you and your little girl and wishing you all the very best. Just keep hanging in there one step at a time.

Hi Johnworf,

Many congratulations on Katherine's birth. My DD wasn't premature but we were in NICU and SCBU for a while as she needed a series of operations to help her breathe properly, so I understand a bit about what it feels like to be in there, stressed and anxious and with an anxious and stressed out DP too.

Are you staying in the hospital at the moment? If you are my one tip would be to get out occasionally for a walk / change of scene. I barely left the building for the first week and that on it's own drives you a bit nuts. Just going for a walk round the block helps.

The nurses are great and very supportive. They will do everything they can to help Katherine and they'll help you with her too. Maybe see if there is a counsellor that you can talk to as well, or maybe talk to other Mums there, they understand better than anyone what you're going through. I found a lot of support and encouragement from other Mums with things like trying to express milk etc - obviously everyone's got their own worries but it can help to share them with each other.

I remember finding it weird that people were congratulating me on the birth of DD as well and feeling sad and angry that it wasn't how it should be. I also felt guilty that I'd not managed to make her 'right'. Again, talking with nurses, my DP, my family helped - although DP was stressed out too.

With your DH I think you just have to try and keep communicating and accept that he will deal with things differently to you. My DP got fed up with my near-constant tears - sometimes I cried with my Mum instead. If you've got family/friends around to support you that can help take the pressure off sometimes. We muddled through, i think that's all you can do at the beginning. It's really tough - you're dealing with the aftermath of birth as well as the shock and anxiety of your DD needing so much care.

It would be a lie to say that I look back on our time in SCBU with fondness but I'm still in awe of the level of care shown by the staff there. They really are wonderful and I'm sure you can feel confident that they will do the best they can for your daughter.

I really hope things work out for you and little Katherine. Best of luck.

Congratulations Johnworf, she looks like a gorgeous wee mite. No real experience myself as my ds was born at 35 wks 2lb 12 but know how hard it is with a baby in NICU. 24 wks is one of those milestones for a baby. In saying that when I was hospitalised one of the ladies who had a history of prem births had her first born son at 23 wks and he was a boisterous 2 year old running round the ward causing havoc.
It is a real strain on a relationship. What sort of problems are you having with your dp? I found that I was the one crying and worrying all the time, whereas my dp didn't worry at all which I found frustrating. Then again, I was with my ds more in the hospital at the start and saw more things that worried me.
Does your neonatal unit have a parents room? I found that sitting having coffee with the other parents and talking about our children really helped as it's people in the same situation as yourself.
Sending you and Katherine lots of love and best wishes for the future x

Sending you good wishes and thinking of you. My DD1 was a strapping 33-weeker but it sounds like little Katherine is made of tough stuff.

Glad that you and your DH are talking - it's a really tough time for relationships - I don't think my DH and I realised until we had DD2 what a 'normal' birth and new baby time was like and we just looked at each other in amazment and realisation of how difficult and stressful and crap it had been with DD1!

Thinking of you and Katherine today Johnworf.

I love her name BTW

A week tomorrow?!? That sounds like a big milestone in anyones's book!

Congratulations - 7 days old is a huge milestone! My friend had a baby at 26 weeks ... she was 1lb 14oz and is now a perfectly healthy almost 4 year old. It was hard ... lots of small steps forward, then maybe a set back, but lots of small steps forward again. She expressed milk ... gave her a real focus, and when she could, she did that skin to skin contact (is it called something to do with kangaroos?). Keep on in there ... she may be tiny but her spirit is strong x

Congratulations on your beautiful little girl johnworf. Sending you big hugs and hoping Katherine continues to get stronger every day.

DS isn't as trapping helthy man yet but he's headed that way. He was a 2lb 26 weeker and at 2.6yrs is on the average charts for everything. Some developmental delays - speech most noticeably but that could be for other reasons, but otherwise very happy and healthy.

Hi Johnworf

Just thought I would add a message.

My son was born at the end of January at 29 weeks. I know 29 weeks is a little different from 24, but I remember how it felt to be in SCBU, to be trying to get over the shock at having given birth and the worry over your child. It is an extremely stressful time.

As I type this my son is lying on his playmat kicking about and having a great time. My point is, it does come to an end. At the time, the weeks ahead of us in SCBU seemed like an age and I couldn't possibly imagine life after it. But looking back now it seems thankfully short (even though we only finally made it home just before his due date) and feels like a world away (even though it is only a couple of months ago). It will be the same for you. Focus on recovering physically and keeping yourself as calm and "happy" as you can be - making sure you take time out of the hospital, to do whatever you can to keep your spirits up.

Everyone told us there would be ups and downs over the weeks and months. There certainly were - far more than we could have imagined. But I think they do truly make you stronger, and strengthen your bond with your child too. It is easy to feel sad about the preganancy and "normal" birth you "might" have had. But looking back now I have a much greater sense of achievement than I think I would have done had I delivered at term. And in addition, I have shared an extra two and a half months with my son, in which I have seen him grow in strength and watched him develop. The stress of premature birth is not something I would ever wish on someone, but there really are silver linings if you look for them.

As many people have said already, your daughter is obviously a little fighter. I wish you all the very best of luck and courage - it will all be ok in the end.

PS You are probably already doing this, but I found keeping a little journal and taking lots of photos helped me to see the progress, even when it seemed slow. And talking to other parents in SCBU also helps I found, especially once you are over the first few days/weeks.

Thinking of you and your family johnworf. Please keep posting if it helps, wishing you and little Katherine all the luck in the world.

Hi, johnworf; congratulations on your gorgeous daughter's safe arrival; she looks perfect.
i have no premmie experience myself but hope you feel encouraged by the positive stories here. my dd was full term but in scbu for a week; i know how hard it can be on your relationship, it was hard on me and dh but as someone rightly said, we muddled through. do try and talk to other parents when you can; i am still in touch with lady whose dd was premmie but bron at the same time as dd- they are both now healthy ative 21 mos!
good luck.

Hi johnworf

I'm from September thread too, and am 24 weeks + 3 days today. I wanted to wish your beautiful baby girl all the luck in the world, with each passing hour she must get a little stronger.

Wishing you and your Dh lots of love and best wishes too.xx

Hi

Congratulations!

I had a boy born at 25 weeks. I know how hard and overwhelming everything can be. Let me tell you, the fact that she is in air is amazing. My son was ventilated for over a month, so your girl is doing well. Hang in there, ok? she sounds like a very strong girl. Just be prepared to be in there for until around her due date.

Make sure you ask the right questions, and make sure you are well informed of whats going on. Sing, talk, and read to her. Just be there as much as you can for her.

Make sure you have a good support network.

My boy is now a healthy 7 year old.

Just to echo what all the others have said - I'm from the September thread too, and I think it's really touched us all. Congratulations to you, take it one day at a time and celebrate each achievement. Look after yourself too..xxx

Oh yeah, theres a book from the tommys charity called something like "your premature baby" Its really good. Check out the website. Google tommys campaign and you could probably order it there.

Gotta work now, but thinking of you x