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Pregnancy choices

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Positive medical abortion story, read if nervous!! <3

23 replies

Rosesarered223 · 14/01/2024 22:43

Hi everyone,

I am writing this in the hope it helps someone who was in the position I was in about 10 days ago. I trawled about 100 pages worth of this sub-forum looking for reassurance but also being drawn in by horror stories and thought I would share how it went for me, maybe a bit of closure/catharsis for me too!

I will say, I have health anxiety, hate having anything feeling 'off', hate feeling 'off' due to meds etc and hate taking strong medications/new medications, so this was a really challenging thing for me, even more so than for someone without this.

Tues 2nd Jan - did positive test, was on day 28 of my cycle so period not even due for another day, but had metallic taste in mouth and big sore boobs so I knew something was off! I knew instantly it's the wrong time for me and my partner, so we weren't going to be keeping it.

Weds 3rd - Put in for a call back from BPAS as they're the NHS provider in my area but didn't want to wait the few days for them to contact me. Called a private clinic and went with them, they said a Dr would call me the next day and meds sent out for next day delivery. Clinic was The Gynae Centre in London.

Thurs 4th - Call from Dr, less than 10 mins easy, just explaining the process and what to expect. I said I was really anxious about possible pain but as this was so early on (bang on 4 weeks) he said he expects it to just be like a period and really no reason for me to experience severe pain or extreme bleeding. The cost of the consult etc is £495.

Friday 5th - Meds arrive in post.

Took Saturday to relax, had all happened very quickly so wanted to get my head around what was going to happen etc.

Sunday - Took the mifepristone around 2pm, no side effects at all from this. Was unbearably anxious, to the point that my partner had to give me a pep talk, I was shaking and my hands were sweating because I was so worried about what might be ahead.

Monday - After much procrastinating, took the misoprostol (4 tablets vaginally) about 10pm, so a bit over 24hrs but they say in general 24-36 is fine for this. The package had co-codamol and diclofenac but I only took the diclofenac (30mins before miso) because I didn't want co-codamol to make me feel 'weird' etc unnecessarily.

Laid on the sofa from 10-11pm, got into bed at 11 and felt some tiny cramps but nothing major. Put on a pad, my partner giving me lots of hugs as I felt so emotionally wiped out, and got some rest.

Got up at 1am to mild cramps, nothing in pad but when I sat on the toilet I felt a little gush of blood, and a small plop of something in the loo. Couldn't see what came out as blood in the loo.

Slept 1am-3am, woke up at 3am to slightly stronger cramps, but again nothing crazy (I would say, don't take it in the evening or night if you have plans the next day! I think I just postponed it to this time out of anxiety!)

3am-4am - tossed and turned a bit, then had stomach pains and vomited at 5am. I felt some chills around this time so got my extra duvet out and placed it on top of my duvet.

I think due to me feeling anxious, I couldn't get back to sleep, but the pain itself was no worse than a period cramp to be honest. I just laid there with my hot water bottle.

I think the meds did mess with my stomach a bit as I threw up a few more times, and snoozed on and off until about 8am ish, which to be honest was actually the worst part of it all - and if the worst thing is throwing up a few times, it really goes to show the whole experience is not always the horror show it is made out to be!

In terms of bleeding I am 99.9% sure it worked as it should, I went through 5 pads between 11pm and 9am, and TMI - when I was sick I could feel clots etc come out due to the force (sorry haha..).

Cramps and nausea feelings went away by 9am, and it was very much eased by hot water bottle and paracetamol.

I felt quite ropey the next day but largely put that down to the emotional impact of it all, plus huge lack of sleep.

I bled Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri, then a fair bit of brown (end of period) type stuff Sat and Sun.

Physically I think the strong meds/stress of it all did make me feel a bit wiped out all week, quite emotional and a bit up and down in my moods, e.g., didn't fancy any social stuff or exercise, just gentle time inside and short strolls to get fresh air. But again, I think this is normal considering - becoming pregnant, the mental toll of deciding to terminate, waiting to start the process, then actually going through it, is really draining - I think the meds are quite strong (they have to be!) so it is a lot for your body to go through - but again, really not as bad as I was expecting!

Sorry bit of a long one, but I wanted to share the reality of it from someone who was petrified and only able to go through with it because the alternative (keeping it) was far more scary!

Tips from me:

If money isn't an issue, go private. I'm not rich by any means but the stress of knowing I could speak to Dr the next day and not wait circa 1 week+ for the appt like some people, for me is worth it. I read that the earlier you do it the safer and the more painless.

Don't do the second pills at night - unless you have no plans next day. Looking back I would do them at like 3pm, get it all mostly done by 10/11pm then sleep it off.

Have things to hand just in case you need them, e.g., hot water bottle, plenty of water, a snack (weirdly I woke up hungry at one point!), plenty of pads and a change of PJs if needed, also popped a towel below me just so I didn't have to worry if it got really heavy. Also a sick bowl just in case!

That was a long one but I really hope it helps someone, I promise you it was nowhere near as bad as I expected, and the worst part really is the worry of the unknown, and I think perhaps some of the pain etc I did have was down to how tense I had been over the entire thing.

I promise you if I can do it then literally anyone can, us women are made of strong stuff and our bodies are very good at doing what they need to do. I am writing this almost a week out, and I pretty much feel back to normal now.

If anyone needs to ask anything feel free to reply below and I will try to answer xxx

OP posts:
Namechangedecisions · 15/01/2024 09:31

Thank you so much for sharing. I've got my phone appointment tomorrow after waiting 8 days (unfortunately no private option in my area) and stories like this really help.

I think the thing that freaks me out most is the idea of seeing the pregnancy passing but stories always seem to mention it coming out in the toilet which is reassuring.

Did you have pregnancy symptoms and if so, how quickly did they go away?

Thanks

Rosesarered223 · 15/01/2024 12:37

Namechangedecisions · 15/01/2024 09:31

Thank you so much for sharing. I've got my phone appointment tomorrow after waiting 8 days (unfortunately no private option in my area) and stories like this really help.

I think the thing that freaks me out most is the idea of seeing the pregnancy passing but stories always seem to mention it coming out in the toilet which is reassuring.

Did you have pregnancy symptoms and if so, how quickly did they go away?

Thanks

Hi Lovely,

Just to let you know I used a private service in London, but I live a long way away in a different UK city, via the phone, then the pills came in the post (in case anyone is reading this in future and is curious about going private!)

Honestly I have googled some very strange things to put my mind at ease and you really won't see anything resembling a foetus unless you're really quite far along. It made me feel better to know that mine was literally microscopic and cells not even resembling a life yet. You do lose a lot of clots etc but it doesn't really look different, and I would say don't look in the loo if anything goes in there, but you would struggle to see it anyway I think!

I had metallic taste in my mouth which went away after taking the first pills, and I needed to pee all the time, my boobs and nipples were sore and they're 80% gone down to normal size now.

Keep us posted on how it goes for you x

OP posts:
Rubie2024 · 15/01/2024 17:54

Hey, took the first tablet today so next two tomorrow. Feeling a bit strange emotionally and a little bit panicked as to am I sure and hoping I made the right decision did anything similar happen to you? I know there is no turning back now but have a mental battle going on 😞

Rosesarered223 · 16/01/2024 10:16

Rubie2024 · 15/01/2024 17:54

Hey, took the first tablet today so next two tomorrow. Feeling a bit strange emotionally and a little bit panicked as to am I sure and hoping I made the right decision did anything similar happen to you? I know there is no turning back now but have a mental battle going on 😞

Hi, how are you feeling now, keep us posted?

If it is any reassurance to you, I was 100000% set on my decision, knew it was absolutely right and even I had feelings when taking first and second pills of 'shit, there's no going back after this, am I sure?' I think it's really normal and narural.

The only advice I can give, especially as everyone's case is so different, is to just trust your gut and make sure you're tuned in to your gut feelings - you're doing what it right for you and you alone as it really is your body and your choice.

Again, I had the odd thought during it of 'what if I regret this after?' I knew 99% I wouldn't regret it and I am happy to say I still don't regret it. Remember your hormones are probably all over the place, it's a highly stressful situation to find yourself in, even if the decision isn't a hard one to make, and even if you're certain, it is a lot to process, so the best advice I can give is just to let thoughts come and go, let the emotions come and go and trust that you will be ok!

Let us know how you get on x

OP posts:
Rubie2024 · 16/01/2024 17:43

Hi, mentally im quite sad but also I feel it may not be working. I took the 2 remaining ones today at 1pm and didn't start light bleeding until about 4ish but nothing major at all light cramps..so im wondering is it going to fail and end up in hospital or is possible it will start to intensify yet... I'm approx 5 weeks 2 days

mindworkingovertime · 17/01/2024 14:44

Thanks OP, it's good to read people experience. I got my pills in the post yesterday through BPAS, taking pill 1 Friday morning then the step 2 Saturday morning. Have no plans this weekend so i can take it easy. I'll be sure to heed your tip of having the sick bowl and a towel on the bed, have already bought super heavy flow pads. BPAS sent codeine for pain management but i'll dig out my wheatie bag too.
I feel guilty @Rubie2024 but i know it's the right thing, and it's a clump of cells at this stage, i keep reminding myself of that. Hope you feel better soon.

Itsmehihowareyou · 20/01/2024 10:52

Hi everyone I'm looking for a way to connect with people in a similar situation. This thread seems really calming, so thank you for that. I'm due to take 2 oral tablets today at 1, I am super anxious for the pain/blood loss and clots. I cannot calm myself down at all. I'm currently 4 weeks 5 days.

Rubie2024 · 20/01/2024 16:13

Hey how are u getting on? For me it wasn't actually that bad physically which makes me nervous it didn't work... I'm bleeding still which is like a heavier period but no pain or anything else.

mindworkingovertime · 20/01/2024 21:41

@Rubie2024 so far fine, dull ache started after about an hour, bleeding started after about 4 hours, about 4.5 hours stronger pain and passed a large clot, since then very minimal pain, bleeding now reduced a lot, boobs less sore and bloating reduced. Been very hungry!

Rosesarered223 · 22/01/2024 08:52

Rubie2024 · 20/01/2024 16:13

Hey how are u getting on? For me it wasn't actually that bad physically which makes me nervous it didn't work... I'm bleeding still which is like a heavier period but no pain or anything else.

How are you feeling now lovely? Did you pass clots etc, that's generally what they say to look for. But also, how far along were you? As the earlier you are the more it just really resembles a period x

OP posts:
Rosesarered223 · 22/01/2024 08:54

mindworkingovertime · 20/01/2024 21:41

@Rubie2024 so far fine, dull ache started after about an hour, bleeding started after about 4 hours, about 4.5 hours stronger pain and passed a large clot, since then very minimal pain, bleeding now reduced a lot, boobs less sore and bloating reduced. Been very hungry!

Glad to hear things went as they should for you! Hope you're feeling OK still?

Happy to report that I had in total about 5-6 days of bleeding then another 5ish days of brown spotting, then now approaching 2 weeks since it, I am back to normal.

How have you all felt emotionally? I have been OK largely when alone but when I see my partner and he's affectionate and asks me how I've been feeling, I have had a few teary moments, but it feels like bad PMS (E.g when you cry at the drop of a hat) .. I have read online it takes 2-3 weeks for hormones to level out so I was somewhat prepared!

OP posts:
mindworkingovertime · 22/01/2024 09:48

Yep all good thank you, not too much bleeding, normal period like really, odd ache but very mild.
Emotionally I'm ok, i have the odd moment of i was pregnant this time on Friday and now I'm not, my mind finds that odd at times. I don't really feel anything i guess.
Glad your coming to end of it

Rubie2024 · 23/01/2024 18:31

@Rosesarered223 hey I'm fine....I think anyway!! Nervous of doing the test in a few weeks and praying it will be negative and will have worked. Has anyone been feeling bloated in the aftermath l?

Rosesarered223 · 23/01/2024 21:08

Rubie2024 · 23/01/2024 18:31

@Rosesarered223 hey I'm fine....I think anyway!! Nervous of doing the test in a few weeks and praying it will be negative and will have worked. Has anyone been feeling bloated in the aftermath l?

Hi Lovely - glad you are doing ok! Through the worst of it now!

If it's any comfort, all my symptoms are gone but I'm due to test this Sunday/Monday and I am so scared.. Even though everything went exactly as it should have gone!

I've even been checking my boobs and going 'yep they're definitely softer than before I had the abortion' because hard boobs was my biggest symptom!

I defo had the bloating - for a good week or so my lower tummy was kind of tender and 'heavy' feeling, it's now 2 weeks on and it's gone back to mostly flat! :-) I just put it down to all the hormonal fluctuations going on during and after ending a pregnancy..

OP posts:
Rubie2024 · 23/01/2024 21:47

Great thank you fingers crossed for us all for that negative x

Laracrew · 30/01/2024 23:28

Hi, I can see this thread hasn’t been used for a week - it’s been such a comfort to me as I haven’t told anyone and have decided I’m not going to. I have my tablets arriving this week and I’ve cleared my weekend to just face it head on. Feeling quite nervous about the pain and the ongoing aftermath I don’t get period cramps (ever) so I’m not really sure what bad period pains feel like and of course I’ve read horror stories about contractions and people saying they’re still bleeding 6 weeks on.. but to be honest I’m just more annoyed at myself for a) getting myself into this situation and b) not spotting the signs.. I was vomiting at Christmas as thought it was a bug… I felt nauseous early jan and thought it was my pill, my boobs have looked and felt huge.. I thought it was Christmas weight gain.. and on top of that I’ve been really tired. I feel like such an idiot, I’ve had all the signs.
One question I have is are tampons a no no?
thanks again for all your honesty… bring on my self care/Netflix weekend! Xx

Laracrew · 31/01/2024 07:47

Sorry to add.. I mean tampons after main passing…

Namechangedecisions · 31/01/2024 09:16

Hi @Laracrew thats correct, no tampons as increases risk of infection. Also they advise no intercourse for 2 weeks following for the same reason.
Please don't feel like an idiot - it is easy to pass off symptoms/go into denial about it. How many weeks are you?

Have a look at this thread. It was a great comfort to me when we were going through it 2 weeks ago.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy_choices/4981304-medical-abortion-waiting-for-appointment?page=5

Page 5 | Medical abortion- waiting for appointment | Mumsnet

Hi Just after moral support from anyone maybe going through the same. Just discovered I am pregnant, I have 2 children and we are just not in that pl...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy_choices/4981304-medical-abortion-waiting-for-appointment?page=5

Namechangedecisions · 31/01/2024 09:18

@Laracrew just to add it is best if possible to have someone around in the very unlikely event your bleeding is heavier than expected. Do you have a trusted friend/family member?

Scared20something · 02/02/2024 11:46

I so needed to read something like this. I’ve got an appt next week, and all the horrible experiences are absolutely terrifying me. So thank you . I also have health anxiety so that’s deffo adding to the problem

bskengx · 13/05/2024 11:25

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ThatCleverCoralCrow · 09/08/2024 09:48

@bskengx what did you decide and how are you feeling now? Going through something similar, it's so hard.

Annoymous3659 · 09/11/2024 19:06

Hi all and Rosie. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It’s so important to do this as others such as myself find it helpful. I am going for a surgical abortion on Monday and I have to take the Mifepristone pill 24 hours before (tomorrow) before the procedure to soften my cervix. This is the first pill used in the medical abortion.

I am petrified but from reading your posts not many of you had side effects from the first pill. X

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