I feel so much guilt

[Moonanddpea]

Sorry if I sound silly here. I feel guilty overall really. I don’t know how far along I am (I think about 6-7 weeks? My last period date and positive result don’t add up so I’m being scanned) and I’m due to discuss my abortion options tomorrow. If I’m under 10 weeks the process starts tomorrow.

Me and DP have decided it’s the right thing to do sadly for so many reasons. Our first baby isn’t even 1 yet, the money pressure would be too much, I’ve just started a new job and we’ve finally just gotten to a good place in our relationship.

but I just seen something how it’s infant loss awareness week and I just felt awful I’m feeling guilty and nervous anyway. But the thought that this week so many women sit and think about the times they lost the babies they wanted and here I am having a termination :(

But I don’t think mentally I could cope with another baby so close now. My 9mo doesn’t sleep I’m severely sleep deprived and have to work and live I couldn’t do it x2 I’d collapse (which I have recently)

I just needed to vent. No one knows we’re doing this it’s just between us but I just need to get my thoughts out

PS I know my baby could start sleeping longer stretches/through any time before this baby is due. He may not. It’s unpredictable but mentally I am really struggling at the moment

snd I don’t think it’d be fair on him for me to get worse or fair on a new baby to be mentally unstable and not give them the start to life I gave my baby boy now as I was happy and content and well

Sorry you're feeling guilty op! There's absolutely no need to, you're doing what you feel is best for you and your family and that's exactly what you should do ❤️

Funnily enough I'm in a similar situation though have decided to keep ours. But I've got an 8 month old and I am so worried about how hard it's going to be so I completely understand why you would feel like it's too much for you (I'm honestly not convinced it won't be too much for me!)

I have previously had an abortion myself many years ago and it was absolutely the right choice and I don't regret it at all, I knew it was the right thing for me. I think if you've made this choice voluntarily then you've made it because you think it's best and there's no shame or guilt in that (though of course it may still be an upsetting one and it's okay to feel upset) x

You have to take care of yourself and your family. Xx

It sounds like you're making a decision to protect yourself and therefore your son. Of course its OK to have emotions about what's happening and let yourself feel those. You might find it helpful to find a trusted friend or family member you can talk to so you don't have to carry this burden alone/just with your partner.
You could also look into getting some counselling. Talking really does help x

Hi, I don't know if I'm posting in the right place so I'm sorry if I aren't. I'm hoping for some advice or guidance.

I took the medication for a termination when I was 9 weeks pregnant, I made the decision initially to terminate due to financial reasons, not wanting children, my career and the my relationship. I then found out at 14 weeks I was still pregnant. I then booked to have the surgical termination but due to me being high risk it has taken so long to find a hospital which will do this.

I have been told if I continue with my pregnancy they cannot say if the baby would have deformities or problems due to the tablets I took previously. I just feel awful in the fact I will be 19 weeks having a termination. I feel it may be the right thing to do due to the risk. However, I'm scared I will regret my decision and worried about the process of surgery and the baby. However, I also don't want to regret having a baby if I don't feel I'm in the right place in my life.

I hope someone can help.

Thank you

Hi OP, we're moving your thread to our Pregnancy Choices topic as we feel that's a better place for it. We're really sorry you're going through such a difficult time.

Hi CrystalCare, I saw your post and just wanted to say that in cases where the abortion pill does not work, if the pregnancy is carried to term, it usually results in a normal, healthy baby. There are several threads here (usually called something like "Took first pill and regretted it") where people who changed their minds decided to have the baby and usually there are no problems. Just wanted to let you know in case you changed your mind, which you have every right to do if your decision changed. Hope you can manage to think clearly despite the stress and anxiety, believe me, I get it!