Failed Medical abortion- Twins

[HLRed]

Hi,

I can’t actually believe what is happening in my life at the moment, I don’t think you could even write this as a story.

I am 38 years old with a 10yr old son, in a loving happy relationship of 17 years. Missed my period in January and test came back positive. Immediately we agreed not to keep the baby and I booked an appointment with MSI. 4 days later I miscarried and felt huge relief that nature had taken the decision away from me to terminate.

6 weeks later my period hadn’t returned and I felt nauseous so took a test- positive! (We had sex once after miscarriage and used a condom). Straight away booked another appointment with MSI to terminate. Didn’t know if this was new pregnancy or one I thought had miscarried so paid for a private scan and found out it was a new pregnancy, with twins.

The shock was huge and I couldn’t understand how i was so certain in my decision to terminate one but two was a whole different matter. My partner and I discussed and agreed we love our lives as they are, our son is happy and so we decided to terminate.

Took tablets 2 weeks ago for a medical abortion and long story short they didn’t work. Am now almost 12 weeks pregnant with twins and booked in for a surgical abortion on Monday. I honestly don’t know what to do. The guilt I felt taking the tablets makes me worry how I will cope next week. A tiny bit of me wants to keep them but it’s so small i don’t know if it’s enough. I have so many reasons I don’t want a baby (let alone 2) but I just can’t shake this tiny nagging guilt.

Sorry for the long post, it actually feels good to get it all off my chest. Xx

You have to be sure
In your heart what do you want
Why don’t you/dh want another child (or twins)
Not a decision that is made lightly
Not a decision which you’ll never think about, years on I still do think what they’d be like etc
Think king and hard before you decide

The hormones will be making you think you want to keep them

Why don't you want them?

What a difficult decision to have to make.

You don't need to be able to articulate why. You have the choice. It's ok to decline to put your body, your existing relationship and your existing child through the immense stresses that would be involved. Those stresses are certainly survivable if freely chosen. There is no shame or guilt in choosing not to - if there was then it wouldn't be a free choice. Hold your head high and own your right to that free choice. All will be well.

You have a lot of time until Monday to make the decision. Just keep talking to DH, find out how he feels about the situation. And talk to him how you feel.

Just remember, there isn't a right or wrong.
💐

A PP said that its just your hormones making you feel like this, but that doesn't take into account the fact that every single system in the human body is controlled by hormones. Hunger, thirst, sleep, sexual desire, bonding with babies, breastfeeding etc are all signalled and conrrolled by hormones and this doesn't make your experience any less valid at all!

If you have any doubts at all, you need to examine them very carefully. Are the reasons for not wanting the babies worth proceeding with this if you arent 100% sure?

I was so certain in my decision to terminate one but two was a whole different matter.

This totally resonated with me - I too aborted twins. I didn't know it was a twin pregnancy till the day of my abortion. I was adamant I didn't want another baby but when they said it was twins I was devastated; I think maybe because the word 'twins' makes it/them more real iykwim - until that point I'd considered it 'a bunch of cells' (I was very early on) but the word 'twins' just triggers different pictures in your mind. I wished at the time they just hadn't told me tbh.

I did have the abortion and instantly regretted it - I cried all the way home, but it really was just the hormones. Once my pregnancy hormones had gone I was absolutely fine. I know 100% I did the right thing.

I really feel for you - having a failed abortion must be hell. Have you spoken to the clinic? Would the foetuses be affected by the drugs if you decide to carry on?

Thanks everyone. Spoke to DH last night about it all and the more we talked the more we both felt a (second) termination just isn't right.

We have such a lovely life and yes it will be tough, but we are happy to have two additions to our family. When 3 become 5

So I think we are having twins!!!! I spoke to my gp last week and she said as the medication hadn't done anything to abort the pregnancy it would have no affect on the babies.

Good luck. Before I read your update I wanted to say neither choice is wrong. Take care of yourself.

I am so happy that you have made this decision as I could tell from your OP that something didn't feel right for you. It sounds like you are starting to feel excited too! Fwiw, my friend accidentally got pregnant with twins after feeling her family was already complete (she already had a few children). She was originally absolutely horrified, but now says that they are a complete delight and she can't imagine life without them. Best wishes for everything OP!

Hi,
I am going threw with termination of pregnancy myself but feel as though it hasn’t been completed as the pregnancy test provided to take after an abortion has come back positive. Just wanted to know whether you experienced any bleeding and clots after taking the pills etc?

🤗. How is the pregnancy going OP?

Sorry you are going through this same thing. Did you wait 3 weeks after the tablets to take the test? I believe if you do the test sooner it can still give a positive result.

i had very light bleeding and only one clot, k immediately knew it hasn’t worked as I have had miscarriages before so have experienced the amount of blood of a loss, and after my “termination” it wasn’t even a light period.

when did you take the tablets? I found this forum really helpful when I was struggling, so wanted to respond immediately so you know you aren’t alone. Xxx

Wonderful 🥰 I am almost 24 weeks with my twins. Have my c section booked for September and we are having a boy and a girl.

i haven’t re read my original post yet as I can honestly say that feels a lifetime ago. I always wondered if I would have guilt from trying to terminate but I honestly don’t give it a second thought. We are so happy to be welcoming two new members to our family. Xx

Aww 🥰 enjoy your twins! Congratulations! I'm so happy to read this outcome xx

Hi,
On the letter BPAS said to do the test 2 weeks after so I did I’m going to have to keep doing normal tests and phone them to get an appointment. How long did you bleeding go on for?

This is lovely, so happy for you, good luck with your twins xx

What a lovely update. Glad you’re doing well.

I completely believe in the right for a woman to choose but it was really quite lovely to read this thread and hear you are nearly 24 weeks.

Lovely news OP ♥️

Lovely news @HLRed . I had a similar situation 2 years ago - unexpected pregnancy, planned to terminate then found out I was having twins and it changed everything. They are now 2 and the light of my life. Good luck with everything!

Wow lovely to hear everything has gone well and they are both happy and healthy.

Wonderful and congratulations. Those twins were obviously ment to be.

A day or two of bleeding, not long at all.

if you ring up and say you don’t think it’s worked they will get you booked in for a scan. Good luck x