Hi,
I can’t actually believe what is happening in my life at the moment, I don’t think you could even write this as a story.
I am 38 years old with a 10yr old son, in a loving happy relationship of 17 years. Missed my period in January and test came back positive. Immediately we agreed not to keep the baby and I booked an appointment with MSI. 4 days later I miscarried and felt huge relief that nature had taken the decision away from me to terminate.
6 weeks later my period hadn’t returned and I felt nauseous so took a test- positive! (We had sex once after miscarriage and used a condom). Straight away booked another appointment with MSI to terminate. Didn’t know if this was new pregnancy or one I thought had miscarried so paid for a private scan and found out it was a new pregnancy, with twins.
The shock was huge and I couldn’t understand how i was so certain in my decision to terminate one but two was a whole different matter. My partner and I discussed and agreed we love our lives as they are, our son is happy and so we decided to terminate.
Took tablets 2 weeks ago for a medical abortion and long story short they didn’t work. Am now almost 12 weeks pregnant with twins and booked in for a surgical abortion on Monday. I honestly don’t know what to do. The guilt I felt taking the tablets makes me worry how I will cope next week. A tiny bit of me wants to keep them but it’s so small i don’t know if it’s enough. I have so many reasons I don’t want a baby (let alone 2) but I just can’t shake this tiny nagging guilt.
Sorry for the long post, it actually feels good to get it all off my chest. Xx