Abortion pills at home - what to expect?

[LazyMareofEastown]

Hi all. Just seeking some advice and reassurance.

Am 41 and found out today that I'm pregnant (6 weeks). Another child is not an option for multiple practical reasons (including but not limited to the fact that DP and I each have two DC from previous relationships plus we don't live together and I have a tiny house).

I have phoned bpas to self-refer for a medical termination and will be contacted within 48 hours to do the initial assessment.

I know this is the right decision for me, my DP and for all of our existing DC but it's still really knocked the wind out of my sails and I'm finding myself really tearful.

Any words of wisdom on what to expect?

Have just got over a nasty case of covid and really don't want to have to take any more time off work for this.

Feel like I'm having an out of body experience. So surreal.

Thank you @Aphrodite31. Finally feeling a bit more like myself this morning, no sickness for the first time in 3 weeks!
Last night wasn’t pleasant at all but there is light at the end of the tunnel

@Butteryflakycrust83

Hi OP.

I had two medical abortions, ten years apart, and both different. Please ask for some proper pain management - on my second visit they gave me some very strong painkillers and I did not feel anything other than mild cramping.

Its VERY messy, be prepared to camp out on the loo and pass some massive clots.

The good news is the worst of it is over and done in a few hours. I really recommend DH takes full care of the DC as you really do just need to lay and rest and let it all pass.

I experienced some cramping for a about a week and some spotting.

Massive hugs - when you know its right for you, it is.

If you don’t mind me asking, what pain management worked for you and how long before the procedure did you take it? Also, did you find you had a similar experience/pain levels in the second medical abortion? I have unfortunately found myself in a similar position and this will be my second medical abortion after 5 years - I never thought I would find myself in this position again. I was about 7/8 weeks the first time and this time I will hopefully be about 5 weeks but I remember the pain being quite excruciating the first time (I must note, I was young and naive and took no painkillers at the very beginning but later took codeine and ibruprofen which I found numbed the pain significantly!).

My nurse said to take any pain relief 30 minutes prior, she's giving me codeine but I'm going to try avoid it as it really makes me feel nauseous!

I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks and she did say it'll be quite similar pain wise to that and yeah it hurt, but it was bearable just strong period pain. I'm quite lucky to not get a lot of period pain so I think for some it may just be what they are used to pain wise!

We are all in this together ladies, we are doing what is right for us and we'll get through it! 💗 xx

Thank you @LBear04 - it’s comforting to know that others are going through this experience too and I’m not as alone as I thought I was! I don’t get very bad period pain but I am planning on taking a lot of pain killers and hoping that this gets me through the worst of it 🤞 My first experience was quite ‘textbook’ in that the process was over in about 6 hours and the majority of the pain had subsided after this (as I have seen on many of these posts that I have read) but I’m not sure whether this will go the same way and I’m very nervous and stressed about it all.

@Lollipop47764378 Hope you’re feeling ok. Just wanted to add my experience from the last few days.
I also took codeine and antisickness half an hour before I inserted the 4 pills. I found the pain was quite bad for an hour or so and then really bad for another hour. But then what others have posted is right, once you feel and notice some of the bigger clots coming out the pain does subside quite dramatically. I was violently sick a couple of times (this could have been the codeine tbf as I didn’t really know how I would react, not sure I’d taken it before. Could be my general sickness was bad throughout my sickness or could just be the tablets/the amount of blood loss. Who knows!)

My advice which I wish I knew before hand would be:
Put a thick towel down, go to the toilet very regularly (I had a little bit of a traumatic experience when I woke up at midnight after a few hours of sleep and I’m not exaggerating when I say blood went everywhere as soon as I stood up!) wasn’t painful or anything like that but just not what you want to clean/deal with when you feel like this. So go to the toilet regularly and change pads very often. I found dissolving the last 2 tablets was difficult given how much I had been sick so my partner got me a chub chub lolly to sit in the other side of my mouth. That helped.
I also recommend getting ice lollies/ice cubes since water was making me sick. I also wish I’d got the full on pad nappy style things, but I think that was due to my midnight experience. But I think I would have slept better after with the extra security. Hot water bottle, camomile tea and I also found it helpful to roll my hips a bit when the pain got really bad.
But also on a more positive note, when the pain is bad it is reassuring that it’s working and once it gets bad and the clots go, I really did notice a significant difference in pain and I managed to sleep fine. You can do this, it’s scary thinking about it but you just have to look at it as a few hours of real discomfort then you’re out the other side.
And for those of you that suffer with bad pregnancy symptoms (sore breasts, bad sickness etc) I can’t speak for everyone but mine symptoms were almost gone entirely the morning after. Feels so good to be back feeling like myself.

Hope this helps! Also feel free to message me separately if you need any help. Xx

Hi ladies. I'm just looking for advise before I call the phone number the clinic gave me I took my four tablets last night and started bleeding about 1130 pm then during the night passed some biggish clots twice and had fairly heavy bleeding but not concerning amounts. My question is I am less than 24 hrs and my bleeding is dramatically reduced already . Is that normal or do I need to take extra tablets? Or it's this normal? I'm just a bit nervous and not sure what to expect .

I finally got through today and the 1st available telephone consultation isn't until a week today so I'm gonna be nearly 6 weeks by the time I even speak to them. But they are going to email me information before then. Annoyed I need to wait a week but at least things are moving forward.

Hello,

I have just started the process of an abortion. I am due to have my consultation next Monday with a nurse and then things will be taken from there. I am so frightened at the moment, I have a good support network at home and partner but would like to talk to people who have been through it themselves. Xx

@GrandTheftWalrus

I finally got through today and the 1st available telephone consultation isn't until a week today so I'm gonna be nearly 6 weeks by the time I even speak to them. But they are going to email me information before then. Annoyed I need to wait a week but at least things are moving forward.

Please message me if you would like to talk as I'm in the exact same position as you. We can get through this xx

It seems we will be at same stages etc. How far will you be then if you don't mind me asking?

I had a mmc at 11wks 3days. And the pain was unbearable but apparently an abortion isn't as painful the earlier you are. I'm hoping it's done by the time I should be 7 weeks as that's the gestation of the miscarriage I had

@GrandTheftWalrus

It seems we will be at same stages etc. How far will you be then if you don't mind me asking?

I had a mmc at 11wks 3days. And the pain was unbearable but apparently an abortion isn't as painful the earlier you are. I'm hoping it's done by the time I should be 7 weeks as that's the gestation of the miscarriage I had

I'm 5 weeks at the moment, so like you I am hoping it will be done by seven weeks. It's the waiting around and worrying about it all that crippling me. I hope you are okay xxx

Yeah I'm fine. Its a decision we both made when we realised it could be a possibility. Its just not realistic to have another pregnancy just now.

What about you? Are you doing okay? Feel free to pm xx

@GrandTheftWalrus

Yeah I'm fine. Its a decision we both made when we realised it could be a possibility. Its just not realistic to have another pregnancy just now.

What about you? Are you doing okay? Feel free to pm xx

How do I PM you on here? Still getting used to working this app. Very emotional today I have to say xx

I've sent you a pm. Just a general one to see if it works for you. I don't use the app x

Thank you for sharing your experience @BetterDaysAreComing12 and thank you for your advice - will definitely be taking that on board. It doesn’t sound as bad as some others that I have read on here! I just hope it goes as smoothly as this for me and is over as quickly as it can be 🤞

Hi @Cats345 and @GrandTheftWalrus - I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks last week and immediately booked an appointment with BPAS who gave me a phone consultation 7 days later - I received the call from the nurse today! I am 5 weeks today and I am booked to collect my pills tomorrow so this process was quite quick although I had no medical problems and everything was deemed safe by the nurse who said I didn’t need to have an ultrasound scan.

I did also enquire with MSI but the closest phone consultation they could offer me was after 2 weeks - next Monday - so I turned this down and have found the process to be faster with BPAS but I know others have had different experiences. My advice would be to try look at different providers (if offered in the area) to see which one can get you in quickly if you are of course certain of your decision and want it over with as quickly as possible.

@Lollipop47764378

Thank you for sharing your experience *@BetterDaysAreComing12* and thank you for your advice - will definitely be taking that on board. It doesn’t sound as bad as some others that I have read on here! I just hope it goes as smoothly as this for me and is over as quickly as it can be 🤞

Hi @Cats345 and @GrandTheftWalrus - I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks last week and immediately booked an appointment with BPAS who gave me a phone consultation 7 days later - I received the call from the nurse today! I am 5 weeks today and I am booked to collect my pills tomorrow so this process was quite quick although I had no medical problems and everything was deemed safe by the nurse who said I didn’t need to have an ultrasound scan.

I did also enquire with MSI but the closest phone consultation they could offer me was after 2 weeks - next Monday - so I turned this down and have found the process to be faster with BPAS but I know others have had different experiences. My advice would be to try look at different providers (if offered in the area) to see which one can get you in quickly if you are of course certain of your decision and want it over with as quickly as possible.

Hello,

Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope you are okay. I spoke to BPAS today and there services were stopped in my area which is a shame as they seemed so nice. My local clinic has booked me in for my consultation Monday so I will see what happens then and I know what you mean with MSI I think it's a two week wait at the moment xxx

The number I phoned was for the women's heath unit that all the websites gave me for my area etc

@Cats345 no worries! @GrandTheftWalrus - with my previous medical abortion I was a young student and I was very lost in terms of where to look for an abortion but I ended up carrying it out in a hospital setting and passed the pregnancy within 4-6 hours there.

This time, I had first searched whether my local hospital carried out pregnancy terminations (I found it’s sometimes hidden under the gynaecology section/early pregnancy unit/ women’s health unit but some hospitals do not let you self refer - you have to go through a GP etc) and then looked at different abortion providers that provide the service under the NHS like BPAS and MSI (and there are a couple of other private ones that have been mentioned on threads that I have read). I just hope this helps anyone else that may be lost like I was at the beginning.

@GrandTheftWalrus @Cats345 hey I hope everything is going okay and you’re doing okay. Just thought I would share my experience over the past couple of days.

I took the first pill 3 days ago at about 8pm on Wednesday and didn’t really get any side effects from it apart from feeling a little bit dizzy/nauseous but didn’t get any bleeding or anything.

I decided to insert the second set of tablets yesterday on Friday, about 3pm so about 43 hours later (a lot longer than the 24 hours that BPAS recommended I know but I didn’t think this mattered very much as long as it was between the 24-48 hour mark). I did take 30mg of codeine, 800mg ibuprofen and 1000mg of paracetamol about 30 minutes before inserting the tablets (a godsend!).

I didn’t really get any pain or any bleeding for about 2 hours after this - I’m not sure whether this was down to the huge dose of painkillers that I had taken and the massive hot water bottle I had on my stomach or whether it took this long for the tablets to dissolve? Shortly after I’d started bleeding and started feeling some pain and at this point (about 4 hours later) I took the second 2 tablets orally. Just a heads up, if you’re thinking about taking the tablets orally it really gave me a sore throat after! I started to experience some more cramping at this point but it was nothing too painful, it just felt like a really heavy period like really heavy period cramping pains - totally bearable and nothing like what I had experienced the first time. I don’t know whether this was down to the painkillers or the gestation (I was only 5 weeks 4 days) but it’s nothing like the stories that I had read before. I wasn’t really passing any big clots and I still had pain at about 11pm but fell asleep at this point and woke up at 5AM with no pain whatsoever. I’d only been sick once since it began and that was after taking the pills orally. It took longer this time to pass the pregnancy I think as I was still experiencing pain 8 hours after inserting the tablets whereas it took about 6 last time.

I’m about 33 hours on since I took the first pills and I’m not cramping, only bleeding. I still have some pregnancy symptoms and was alarmed at the fact that I hadn’t bled nearly half as much as I had during my first abortion so phoned BPAS aftercare who said that this was normal for the gestation that I am. I really hope it’s worked and I guess I’ll find out in 3 weeks when I take the pregnancy test. I wouldn’t say the experience was pleasant but it definitely wasn’t as painful as I was expecting, if anything the worst part was having to anxiously wait for the phone consultation and the tablets!

Make sure you’re stocked up on lots of water, painkillers and a decent hot water bottle and you’re as comfortable as can be. I had some ginger biscuits to hand as well as I found munching on these helped stem the nausea for some reason 😂 It’s definitely worth getting some thick night pads and I also put a towel down just in case although I found I didn’t really need it as going to the toilet meant blood and clots were expelled quickly.

I really hope this helps and eases your anxiety because I know I felt awful in the wait up until I actually inserted the misprostol. We’re all in this together ladies 🌺 xx

I'm still waiting on my phone consultation. It's tomorrow though so I'm hoping I'm not much longer for the tablets as I'll be 6 weeks on Tuesday. However other than the positive tests i would have no idea I was pregnant. No symptoms whatsoever. With my 3 previous pregnancies I had symptoms from the minute I fell pregnant. So very strange so I'm hoping it's straightforward and they send the tablets quickly.

@GrandTheftWalrus

I'm still waiting on my phone consultation. It's tomorrow though so I'm hoping I'm not much longer for the tablets as I'll be 6 weeks on Tuesday. However other than the positive tests i would have no idea I was pregnant. No symptoms whatsoever. With my 3 previous pregnancies I had symptoms from the minute I fell pregnant. So very strange so I'm hoping it's straightforward and they send the tablets quickly.

I had my consultation at 2pm on a Wednesday and received my pack the following day! Think it's pretty quick for most people x

Hoping for the same then x

Hello @LazyMareofEastown

I just wanted to reach out to you and see how you're doing.

I read about your distressing January above and from my own experience, I know that mothers truly go through post-abortion grief which can be so so hard to do alone. If you need someone to talk to I know a wonderful, loving woman who can help you heal. Do reach out to her at Rachel's Vineyard. <3

xxx