Anyone else about to start a medical termination? Looking for some support 😥

[Smurfsrock]

Found out on Mon that I'm pregnant with no 5. Totally unplanned, contraceptive failure, although we were not being as careful as we should have been I'm not 100% on LMP but think I'm 6-7 weeks. We have always talked about the possibility of having no 5 possibly, which is why DH hasn't had a vasectomy yet, but now it fills me with dread so I've got an appointment to talk to the nurse tomorrow.

I just can't face having another child right now, partly because we're just getting back on track after no 4 (such a full on kid!), I can't face going back to baby stage again, and I feel it's unfair on my other kids as I've spent most of their lives pregnant or with another baby already. And my body is already wrecked by 4 pregnancies. But I just feel terrible. I know i could love another baby, i love having little kids in my home and wanted a big family. And so humiliated I've let this happen . It's such an awful feeling after 4 very much wanted pregnancies which took a lot of effort to create! And my biggest fear is that karma will come back to bite me in some terrible way

Anyway, is there anyone else about to go through this too? I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone IRL I just want it all over now, the waiting is awful and I have horrific morning sickness (for the first time ever!)

I'm pretty sure I'll be feeling like you too. I'm so sorry you're going through it. Do you have a bit more time on your side? Have you tried the pregnancy helpline, I got though and talked to someone straight away and it was really helpful. I'm calling them again when they open tomorrow - pregnancycrisishelpline.org.uk/

Practically, financially, emotionally, physically ... I just don't see how we can manage twins, and not to mention all the risks associated with twin pregnancy plus my age and my DD was over 5 weeks early...

Only changed my mind at 37 about having kids then was lucky enough to have DD a year later. DH is also in shock, though when we thought it was just one baby I know deep down he'd have preferred to keep going x

*got through

@bornninthe80s Thank you for the helpline details. I am glad that they are helping you at the moment and will hopefully guide and support you through your decision either way. Take as much time as you can and try to make peace with your decision whatever you do.

I'm in my early 30's so have time, just don't know what's the future holds. In my heart i'd like another but there is practicality issues and financial considerations too.

@bornninthe80s how are you feeling today?

Virtual hand-hold, OP 💕 I am currently going through this too.

I would appreciate any advice or words of I just had a gut feeling that I had conceived this month. I took a pregnancy test on Tuesday morning (1 day before my period was due) and the BFP was there! I phoned BPAS straight away, who have arranged a telephone consultation with a Nurse for next Tuesday (25th) who will then most likely post the medication to me from there.
I've done a lot of research already about the pills, side effects etc. I have now started googling myself mad! Can anybody share their experiences?
Also, if any of you have undergone this during the pandemic, how long did it take for the tablets to arrive in the post from the telephone assessment? Thank you all so much 💕

P.S how did you get on, OP? 💕

@hillarypcof same boat right now (I've found out it's twins for me which is a massive shock). I had medical consultation and they post same day. Should be starting mine on Monday :( dreading it and worrying it will be worse as I'm carrying two.

Thanks for checking in @jeff1965 - had a bit of a breakdown today speaking to the Marie Stopes counsellor as it's really hard thinking about going through the procedure, especially as I definitely feel pregnant which is no surprise seeing as there's two in there.

Wondering whether to ask for a scan again before tablets ... if it was a case of vanishing twin syndrome then I wouldn't have to go through with this x