Medical abortion- worried

[sunandrose]

I’ve had a couple of phone consultations and a scan. I’m currently 8 weeks.

I’ve got the tablets to take today but I’m just so scared. I’ve stupidly spent the morning Googling and am now worried about pain, heavy bleeding and want I will pass.

The nurse said that as I’ve given birth twice before, the last time 9 months ago, that my cervix should be softer and it might not be too painful.

I know it’s the right decision for us as a family but I’m absolutely terrified to take the tablet today.

Any advice or experiences would be greatfully received.

Thank you

I'm in a similar position but haven't had my scan yet. I feel the same. I'm so sorry for you, it's a horrific situation. Did they send codeine?

I would set yourself up in bed if possible. Pain killers, hot water bottle, a box set if you can, chocolate/nice snacks/drinks and then take the tablets when you are ready and in your own time. I'll check in on here regularly x

Thanks for replying, so sorry you’re in the same situation. This on top of a pandemic is just horrific!

I’m contemplating not doing it because I’m just so scared but I know I’ll then regret another pregnancy, with two young children and all the uncertainties of the virus. I’m already struggling with symptoms and have felt so preoccupied with all of this worry, I don’t think my focus is where it should be.

When do you have your scan? Mine dated me at 5 weeks but that was 3 weeks ago. It’s taken me until this week to feel I’ve made the right decision but I really don’t know....

Hope you’re doing ok x

We are in a similar position. We have 4 children between me and my partner and we did everything possible to avoid this. Honestly it's been the worst luck. I feel the same, don't want to go ahead but can I actually take the tablets?? Scan on Tuesday. My symptoms are nausea (awful) sore boobs and basically wanting to eat all the 90s shit food that has no nutritional benefit whatsoever. Feeling very confused and so down about it all.

The 90s shit food- yes!!! I actually really fancied some Bernard Matthews’ mini kievs yesterday! Are they even produced now?!

I was really torn with my decision on Tuesday on arrival at the clinic. I thought I’d had a week of coming to terms with it. The nurse was incredible and made me feel that my reasons were so very valid. I’m pushing 39 now and I have this overwhelming feeling that something will be wrong and go undetected. I know that if I do go through with pregnancy then I won’t be able to shift that feeling. The nurse actually said that in her experience, it people feel so strongly that way then there is often something wrong....

I know it’s the right thing to do, for so many reasons but I cannot shake off this fear. Perhaps I should’ve opted for a surgical procedure but I don’t know how likely that would be due to Covid and I also don’t want to prolong this anymore...

I need to put this into perspective. There’s w risk with everything and this is actually safer than childbirth....
I had a mc between my two babies and just know how devastating that was. Like you, we did everything to avoid and I just feel
2020 really isn’t our year....

OP- If you aren't sure, then ring the clinic. They should have a counsellor as part of the team so you can talk through your options again.

I had a TFMR at 11 weeks a few years back- medical also. If you do go ahead, the following might be useful and I'd wished I'd be told at the time.

-Are the tablets the ones you insert into the vagina or just the oral one? If its the internal ones, try to lie down for at least an hour after insertion. You might find part comes out or even a whole one, but don't worry. You might also see a pasty, white substance come up, but again, don't worry.

• Make sure you have the largest pad on you have. I was further along, but really wasn't expecting to have waters break.

• The internal med can commonly cause nausea, diarrhoea and a high fever. These aren't drug reactions, but normal side effects. My face went bright red like a beetroot, I felt like I was burning up and my temp got to 38'!

• Paracetamol and codeine based painkillers help with pain and fever though. They usually advise not to use ibuprofen.

• I'd never had children or been pregnant before, and it was like bad cramps, but I truly thought it would be worse. Walking around certainly helps. All I had were 2 paracetamol.

best of luck, and if you aren't 100%, call the clinic and chat to someone

Are you talking about the little balls with creamy garlic stuff inside?! Jeez I hope so.

Same age here. I also worry about the baby as I take meds that aren't great in pregnancy.

Also had a missed miscarriage before my daughter and it was horrible.

Glad the nurse was validating. The midwife I spoke to at BPAS was quite cold.

Would it help to write down your exact fears? Is it the thought of it? Pain? All of it? It's a horrible decision to have to make. 2020 has sucked for me so far

@Elouera thank you so much for the advice.
I’ve got codeine/ibuprofen ready so may check that. I’ve read a couple of times about the walking, I guess it’s simialr to walking in labour.

I’m just worried about something going wrong- bleeding and pain. I’m an eternal worrier....

@MINEareCRAFTy
So sorry you went through a mmc. What was the treatment you were given then? With mine I bled for a few days and then miscarried naturally.

That’s really not helpful having a cold nurse, you’d hope that people working in these clinics would be a little more supportive. It’s nevrr an easy decision.

Hi OP.

I had a medical at 8+3 in August.
Nothing happened for a few hours after the tablets but then it all came on in a big wave so I’d get yourself situated for that.

As PP said, the biggest pads possible and maybe an old towel to lie on too.
I wasn’t in masses of pain, more like a strong period.

DO NOT LOOK IN THE LOO!
No matter how tempted you are, you don’t need to see anything.

Drink lots of water to hydrate yourself and maybe start a box set on Netflix?

Holding your hand

Thank you. So glad it wasn’t too horrific for you. I’m hoping the same. Anxieties away, chances are it will be the same for me.

Thank you for taking the time, means a lot x

I’ve just taken the first tablet. Fingers crossed x

Good luck op. The pain isn't nice but doesn't last all that long. Keep distracted as best you can. Are you partner and kids about? Keep checking in here. You may help someone else someday soon.

Hope it goes ok OP. I had one in October
I posted on here a lot. I was crapping myself, no one knew, and I was on my own with 2 small children. It was ok. No real pain but I bled heavily for weeks. Be aware that can happen. But I am prone to very heavy bleeding with periods and After childbirth.

Take the codeine, and try to relax. I'll be around later if you need a virtual handhold.

I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks and had to have the tablets to pass it.
I had no pain at all. I've given birth vaginally 3 times so my cervix is slightly open and lower so I'm guessing that helped.
There was a LOT of blood and clots but not even an ache.
Fingers crossed it's pain free and quick for you

Hi OP,

Hope it all goes ok for you - mine really wasn't that bad at all, just like period cramps for a few hours. For me, it was the waiting that was the worst part.

Be kind to yourself and send whoever you can out to keep you topped up on junk food. (I vividly remember eating a whole Vienetta and chicken nuggets as comfort food!)

Look after yourself and good luck.

Awww thank you for your support. I’m feeling resigned to this now, it’s the right decision all around.

I’m pleased none of you found it too painful.

@ofwarren the nurse said pretty similar actually, as I’ve had two vaginal deliveries, the last one 9 months ago so my cervix should still be slightly open....

Fingers crossed. So far no adverse reactions.... x

How’s it going op?
Been thinking about you x

Thanks @TessTackle, no adverse reaction to the first tablet. It’s just a case of waiting now to take the second lot this evening.
Wish it was over now x

Morning @sunandrose
Hopefully it won’t be too long of a process once you’ve taken the second one.
The waiting is horrible, I know. But you’ll be out the other side of this soon
Feel free to message if you need to x

How are you now @sunandrose?

Thanks for checking up. I’ve just taken the second stage, about 45mins ago so it’s a waiting game now....

I’ve taken some nurofen with codeine and also paracetamol so hoping that will help x

@sunandrose I hope this is a painless as possible for you.
I think you've made a very brave decision

Thinking of you and I'm glad the decision feels a bit more peaceful now? Is that the right word? So hard to find helpful words! Just had my scan and tablets will be posted out. When I had my missed miscarriage I then had a surgical removal.

I'll keep checking in xx

Thank you- it all happened and passed within 5 hours of the tablets. Not pleasant but nowhere near as bad as I’d anticipated. I kept topped up with codeine/ibuprofen and paracetamol and that really helped. Just mild, early labour pains with a stranhe ‘popping’ sensation and that labour like backache/pressure. Lots of blood, still today but thankfully nothing like the horror stories i’d Read.

Today I had a brief moment of sadness but mainly relief. It’s been so consuming but I’ve woken up today knowing it was, sadly, the right decision for us as a family.

Thank you so much for all your support, it’s really helped x

Thanks for the update OP and I'm glad it wasn't as bad as you'd expected