I knew it and I’m devastated

[Reallyneeedhelp]

I bought a test this morning and it’s positive. I don’t want it to be.
I’ve had a termination before. It was awful but it was the right thing to do. I have a family. We cannot have another.
And now we’re stuck in.
And I don’t know where to go
I’m broken

Hope you're okay OP, whatever decision you make the decision is yours and yours only. If, however, you have any doubt in your mind. Follow your heart! Things will work out either way x

I took the last tablets last night, except I had to take them orally and I don’t think they melted as much as they should have by 30 mins. So I don’t think they were ready to be swallowed.

It was not as easy as the last time
It was a brutal 2-3 hours with a fever. I was frightened to be honest.
I have a shit headache and I feel sick today but no pain.

Never again.