16 weeks pregnant feeling guilty for wanting abortion

[cloudlike]

Feeling so guilty for wanting an abortion but i’m so alone i already have 2 kids one has special needs and my youngest is only just 4, i’m on my own 5 days out of 7 with so called partner working away he is quite emotionally unavailable and tells me to do what i have to do so basically left on my own in this situation. i recently returned to education to pursue a better life for me and my kids but how will i be able to proceed with this with a third child basically on my own? i have no support around me his family are horrible selfish people who don’t bother with the child we have and my own parents are not there for me as it is. i feel so sad and confused as of what route to take i want to get rid i really do but the guilt will consume me and i will end up fully single as i feel iv been pushed to this decision by the way i’m treated in this relationship. It was unplanned as i was told last year it would be near impossible for me to conceive again with my cysts all on my ovaries and we was using protection. 😭😭😭😭

Ask yourself if you can honestly live with it... only you know what sort of person you are.

Have you contacted GP/midwife for a chat about your options?

You sound totally miserable! Keep talking on here and more will come to support.

Op, this is completely your choice. You have children who need you already, if you think that you won’t cope, and that your dcs would have less of you or you would be a less great mum, then that is your choice how you deal with it, and nobody else’s business.
Go with your instinct and know you are doing what is best for your particular set of circumstances. Sending hugs x

Why leave it til you've got to 16 weeks to make this decision

You've said this will be your last chance to get pregnant - do you actually WANT another baby?
It sounds like it isn't the best time/circumstances, but if you want the baby, you will find ways to manage. Perhaps study will have to go more part-time or be deferred.

I'd say go for counselling at an independent place like Marie Stopes (not an anti abortion place) and make a decision rather quickly.

If you don't want the baby, then dont have it. It is your choice and yours alone.

If you think you do want the baby - Write down the reasons it won't work - are they overcome-able? Are there solutions?

How demanding of your time is your child with special needs?

Best of luck making your decision for what is right for you and your family.

i’m so alone i already have 2 kids one has special needs and my youngest is only just 4, i’m on my own 5 days out of 7 with so called partner working away

^What you need to ask if do you think it would be fair to bring another child into this.

Why leave it til you've got to 16 weeks to make this decision

Not helpful is it?

OP i'd think - do you actually want another baby? Babies are rarely convenient, but if you want one then you'll make it work.

If not, abortions dont make you a horrible person. I had one when I was 17 and im happy with that decision. Only you can know how you'll feel about it though.

Honey, you need to speak to your midwife or GP about this. They can offer you the proper support.

Going through with a termination is hard, at 16 weeks it's going to suck for you. But this is entirely your choice.

From what you've said, you don't have the support in place or the real desire to raise another child. And it's okay.

If it makes you feel better, I've had two terminations. And I don't regret them. On the first one I fell pregnant when my son was only 4 months old and I couldn't cope with it. The second time, I found out I was pregnant at the end of a relationship.

Don't feel guilty for not wanting a child that you don't want. You'll feel far more guilty when you're resentful of a child you chose to keep.

Good luck

A termination at 16 weeks isn’t a walk in the park so you really need to think hard about this, it’s not as easy as one in the first trimester at all.

Is there a reason that you've left it this long and not terminated as soon as you found out? You need to speak to your midwife and they will discuss and explain what having an abortion is like at this stage in pregnancy. And how you'll feel and if you'll be able to mentally cope going through it.

I didn’t find out i was pregnant until i was close to 12 weeks and i went for an abortion and it was to late for the tablet so i went away to think about what i should do and when i rang back to book another one they can’t get me in until i will be 16 weeks iv rang 3 different agencies to try and change this so there wasn’t a lot i could do in terms of time scale and waiting

Hi OP,

We're just moving your thread over to our pregnancy choices topic.

Hi OP I was much like yourself, child with additional needs, plus 4 others. After talking with my husband we decided it was too much to cope with to have another, I’m 39 so was my last chance at it, I had a termination last Friday at 12 weeks and bitterly regret it, mainly as my choice was based on how others (husband and kids) would be affected rather than myself. I now realise that I was the one it would have affected mainly but that I’d have been ok with it. I love babies and I wish I’d taken this last chance. My heart is broken. Suppose all I’m saying is make sure you are doing what’s right for you and only you as it’s a lot to live with if you make the wrong decision. Hugs to you x