Leaning towards a termination, my heads all over the place.

[WhatToDoHmmm]

I'm feeling so alone, my partner has said he will support me no matter what I choose but he's really not showing much input at all (we don't live together).

My initial thoughts were panic and honestly thinking I can not support a baby. I already have a 5 year old and money is tight.

I've been in a fair bit of pain (legs, groin and back) and my partner has really not helped to take a bit of weight off. I have an appointment on the second of Jan to have an abortion but I've been having second thoughts, I let my partner know about the appointment and then my second thoughts and all he said was 'maybe you should cancel your appointment so you have longer to think.'

Am I being unreasonable to expect him to have helped out a bit more and even said something a little more.
He didn't offer to take time off work to come to my appointment or have my son etc... Untill I had a go about it.
Yet he's still uncertain if he will have the time off, yet when it comes to his son (from previous relationship) he will always take the time off. I'm just so worried that if we were to have a baby anytime soon his son will always come before this child. If he can't support me now how will he ever be able to?

I actually think what he said was very supportive - and not putting any pressure on you is good - though his actions might be less supportive. Is it that he doesn't want a termination and therefore doesn't want to go to the appointment?

He means moral support - or rather, a lack of judgement. He won't emotionally support you.

He clearly intends to provide no meaningful physical or financial support.

You need to make this decision with the assumption that you will be absolutely a lone parent.

I'm so sorry, OP. Make whatever decision makes sense for your own circumstances. 💐

I think this is a very emotional time of year to be making such a big decision. If you have the time to do so then I don’t think your partner’s idea of taking a bit longer is necessarily a bad one. Given though that he has not been too helpful on a more practical level, I think you need to make the decision from a perspective that you’d be doing it alone whatever choice you make.

Initially I don't think he thought it was the right time to have a baby. But recently he's said he would like to have a baby with me, tbh I feel he'd be sad if I terminated but I don't think he wants to let on as it could cloud my judgment.

I thought he might atleast of spoken to me on a neutral level so I could atleast let all my thoughts out and then he'd know exactly where my heads at too, basically give me a bit of emotional support and understanding for himself.

I definetly feels there's a lack of judgment, I can't seem to have a proper fulfilling conversation with him about any of it without feeling angry, sad and alone.

I think you are asking a lot from him without actually asking him. It doesn't sound like you are making it very clear what you want and I really don't think you can assume he will know. Have you asked him what he wants, as he might have more plans in mind than you think? I disagree with pp who says this shows he won't be there for the baby. It is a positive sign if he is already a present father to his existing child.
Is moving in together something that could happen?

Hi there OP,

We just popped in to let you know we've moved your thread over to our Pregnancy Choices topic where we think you might get some responses from others who have been in the same situation.

Do you have any family who could help out? Is there any way your dp could (or would be willing to) take on extra hours at work? Are there a benefits or extra supports available?

Wanting to "have" a baby with you isn't the same as wanting to "raise" a baby with you.

He may want you to give birth to his child, a little statue in his honour, but that doesn't mean he'll provide any assistance in raising that child.

Picsinred you can't possibly know that he feels this way about his prospective child, and your posts do sound like you are projecting. There isn't enough evidence for that conclusion.

Hi Op, how did things go. Sending love