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Pregnancy choices

Planned pregnancy but feeling hopeless. Please help.

3 replies

123ABC123 · 13/06/2019 20:07

Please be kind, I already feel like a monster, but I need some reassurance. My husband and I met when we were 16 and never planned on having kids. By the time 30 hit, I started wondering if we were making a mistake. By 35 we decided to go off the pill and leave it to fate. I felt so sure, if it was meant to be, it would all work out. However, I’m 10 weeks pregnant and I have felt nothing but panic and fear. I’m terrified I’m never going to feel happy or excited again. I prayed that the right thing would happen and I could never abort a baby God gifted us with, and my husband is excited and I couldn’t do that to him either, but I’m terrified this will never click. How can I have a baby when I’m so terrified? I’m not even showing or feeling the baby yet, what am I going to do as the pregnancy progresses? I told my doctor and they talked to me about termination options or going on meds, but I don’t feel right about either option. I’m also seeing a therapist and that helps for a little while but then all the fears and doubts creep back in. I’ve told my husband, and he is so supportive, but he feels certain an abortion would be equally as difficult, and that we will be a happy family once we get through all of this. I don’t know what’s happening to me or why I feel this way. Please help.

OP posts:
SophieLMumsnet · 15/06/2019 15:40

Hi OP,

We're so sorry you're feeling low and anxious right now. We're going to move your thread over to Pregnancy Choices, where we hope you'll find some really great support. Flowers

Littlemermaid1 · 17/06/2019 17:40

Hi OP, sorry you feel so low. Having a baby can be a really daunting experience. When I was pregnant with my first I felt really anxious at your stage too, for me it was a combination of nerves and mourning the loss of my old life I think!

However for me it ended up being a really positive experience (overall). I still had times if feeling stressed and anxious later in the pregnancy and I didn't feel love at first sight when my first was born, but I was really happy when I had her and I cant imagine life without her now she is older.

That's just my experience and of course you should do whatever is right for you, be it a termination or continuing. I hope things work out well for you.

OccasionalNachos · 17/06/2019 17:47

It’s good you are seeing a therapist & have spoken to your doctor. I think it is certainly natural to feel so terrified... I am in a similar situation to you, currently pregnant (6 weeks) & very anxious about whether this is the right thing to do. Hormones are affecting my thoughts & feelings on a daily basis. What does the long term future look like for you? Eg, do you see yourself at 45 as a parent or as childfree? The pregnancy and baby stages are so short compared to a whole life of parenthood. If that’s what you want as a future life, then keep talking to your partner & therapist & share your anxious thoughts as well as exploring the positives. I’ve found that quite helpful when working out my own thoughts.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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