Just found out I'm pregnant. I don't want to be.

[sexndrugsnsausagerolls]

I don't know what to do. I am absolutely gutted. Very very unplanned, casual relationship.

I know no one can tell me what to do but I don't have anyone else I can tell right now and just needed to get it out.

Thanks so much Torvi, really glad it has gone so ok for you. I was totally against medical but reading everyone's replies on here maybe it's the way to go. Was really worried about having to pass something... recognisable but if I'm early hopefully that isn't the case.

Still not 100% sure what to do. Had long talk with my sister last night who was amazing. I know practically that termination is best and I think that's what I want. But am worried I'll struggle with guilt afterwards like last time, especially as it may be the result of not being careful, so it's my fault. Although I know abortion nothing to feel guilty about, I know I will. But then not wanting to feel guilty is not a good reason for having a baby.

Urgh.

You have nothing to feel guilty about whatsoever, whatever you do. But I think it is good to talk this through a counsellor, they can be absolutely brilliant (mine was)

Had my appointment this morning. Scan put me at 7wks 4 days. Have booked in for a surgical next week but I'm really not sure. Am constantly swinging between termination and keeping it. I'm so unhappy.

@sexndrugsnsausagerolls have they offered you any counselling? That may help you decide what to do. I'm so sorry you're going through this! I just knew I was not ready that's why I went ahead with mine x

Thanks Milky. I tried to book counselling but they didn't have any appointments available before the termination. Which is a bit shit!

That's shit about the counseling, OP. How are you feeling today?

Hi Torvi, thanks for asking, I'm feeling ok - I talked to my friend about it all and she gave me the number of her counsellor, and I managed to have an hour session with her today. It really really helped, she was great.

Although, surprisingly, it has made me see that I don't want to have the termination. I'm still trying to unpick the reasons for this (given I have never wanted kids) and the massive implications, but I feel much calmer than I have since I found out. I was a complete wreck this morning, so it's a big improvement!

Am keeping the appointment on Tuesday, but am going to talk to the counsellor again on Monday and make a final decision.

I'm still terrified by it all, but am accepting that fear is an understandable reaction.

That sounds like a good plan. I'm glad you've managed to find someone to talk it through with.

OP, having a child is scary even when it's planned. I went through IVF and a failed transfer. My second attempt worked and even after all that I thought shit! What have I done!

So yes it's definitely understandable when not planned but don't let fear put you off if your heart is telling you to keep it. I think fear is normal in a lot of circumstances.

Ah mate. You have the choice. And we will support you whateve.
We are so lucky to have the choice

The counsellor said to listen to the little quiet voice
inside rather than the loud shouting and panic in my head. So I'm trying to listen...

Thanks so much to everyone on this thread, it really has helped.

Good luck with your decision. It's an extremely difficult position to be in. I did not plan for DS3 and my second child was 9 months old at the time. It was a really difficult time and hormones added in didn't help, though not as hard as your situation as I was married. I just went with my heart in the end and he's an insane little 2 year old now.

I don't envy your position. x

Hi everyone. I just wanted to give a quick update. I decided not to go ahead with the termination this morning. Am going to continue with the pregnancy.

Thank you so much for all the kind words and support, it really helped at a very difficult time.

Glad you’ve come to your own decision.

That's great news, all the best

Congratulations then OP, wishing you all the best

In case you're worried, I've never had a single negative experience with my DS yet. There's been some tricky stuff at times but nothing major.

Don't believe all the horror stories

Congratulations OP

Ah OP congratulations!! I can empathise with you so so much - I was almost exactly the same! I never wanted children, i didn't even like them. I had a one night stand with a former bf who is a complete twat with a drug habit and got pregnant. i was terrified and did go to the appointments for an abortion but i decided to have the baby. The 'Dad' was an arse and told me to have an abortion and hasn't ever seen his daughter, although thanks to the wonderful CMS he does have to pay towards her!

DD is now nearly 7 and not a day goes by when i don't thank God i changed my mind. Even when it is hard, and crap, i never, ever regret it. I have a wonderful DP now who is incredible with her and everything has worked out beautifully!

Good luck op!

Congratulations @sexndrugsnsausagerolls and all the best X

Thank you so much everyone, and Orlandointhewilderness your post made me well up! So glad it worked out for you and I really needed to hear such a lovely positive story, I hope I can say the same.

aw bless ya sex! Honestly, if someone had told me then how much fun and how simple it could be then it would've made such a difference. DD fitted in from the start.

Great news ! Congratulations