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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Just found out I'm pregnant. I don't want to be.

75 replies

sexndrugsnsausagerolls · 11/06/2018 13:54

I don't know what to do. I am absolutely gutted. Very very unplanned, casual relationship.

I know no one can tell me what to do but I don't have anyone else I can tell right now and just needed to get it out.

OP posts:
roratone · 12/06/2018 13:46

I had my t.c consultation with Marie Stopes yesterday with such a kind lady and was phoned back later in the day to arrange my booking appt. I'm booked in for next Wednesday to have a medical termination. Thinking of you. It's tough what ever the background x

Original poster
sexndrugsnsausagerolls · 12/06/2018 15:25

Aw you are all making me weepy with your kind words, thank you, is really comforting to know I'm not alone.

Just got call from NHS and they can't see me till next week so will definitely be going to MS on Thursday. I'm really reassured other people have had a good experience with them. The termination I had in my teens was not so good an experience in terms of how I was treated and I am getting the horrors thinking back to it. Sounds like things have improved since then.

OP posts:
dingdongdigeridoo · 12/06/2018 15:33

You could get a digital dating test in the meantime? They can tell you whether you conceived 1, 2 or 3+ weeks ago, so you can at least find out if it’s an early pregnancy. Good luck with everything OP.

MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup · 12/06/2018 15:43

I'm so sorry you're going through this! It took me about 2 weeks before I was able to get a termination on the NHS! Take care of yourself x

MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup · 12/06/2018 15:48

I went with BPAS? Which NHS provides.

Original poster
sexndrugsnsausagerolls · 12/06/2018 16:39

I spoke to bpas and they don't have an agreement with the NHS in my area unfortunately. I'm very lucky that I can afford to pay for it privately, so happy to do so if that means it's quicker.

Will try and get hold of a digital dating test (I added boots might have them?), thanks.

OP posts:
Frosty66612 · 12/06/2018 16:41

Did you have a medical or surgical one last time?

WillowRose79 · 12/06/2018 16:52

I had a termination on NHS and took weeks! was traumatising to wait but I don't regret it at all- we used a condom that split and I took morning after pill super quickly so was very unfortunate. Its a tough decision to make but I don't regret it and I wish you all the luck with whatever you decide. Here if you have any questions xx

Original poster
sexndrugsnsausagerolls · 12/06/2018 17:08

Had a surgical last time. Not sure I can face a medical.

OP posts:
TheGreatestHo · 12/06/2018 17:57

Had a surgical last time. Not sure I can face a medical

I felt the way you did OP, my hospital tried everything to stop me going for the surgical. I was so scared and I couldnt afford any more time off so I went for the medical.

....and then I was so fucking shocked at how done and it over it was. I took the tablets, went home, had a nap and then it started.
Within mins it was done.
I've had worse periods. :/

I know, this is just one story and everyones different but I want you to know its doesn't have to be horrific. I was given pain killers which i totally didnt need but took them out of fear - they gave me a few hours of feeling silly in a time of feeling like shit x

Orlandointhewilderness · 12/06/2018 18:08

don't get the thread removed OP - you have just as much right to support as anyone else on these boards lovely.

Frosty66612 · 12/06/2018 18:17

I was the same with my medical one @thegreatestho
They said i’d Have to wait until I was at least 8 weeks gone to get a surgical one (I was only 5 weeks at that point) so I just went with the medical one. I took the tablets there and then went straight home to watch movies in bed. 6 hours later I passed what felt like a blood clot and then had some period type pains. Bleeding wasn’t any heavier than my regular period

MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup · 12/06/2018 18:40

I had the surgical and I don't know why but I found it more traumatising! I'd rather of had the medical but I think I was too far gone... I am not sure how far gone I was, it was before 12 weeks though.

hamandpease · 12/06/2018 18:50

@sexndrugsnsausagerolls I'm TTC at the moment and your title did not upset me, users don't have to click on a thread if they don't want to

Your situation is your situation and I'm very sorry you find yourself in it ThanksThanksThanks

MNHQ
LouMumsnet · 12/06/2018 22:19

OP, we're just popping on to let you know that we've now moved your thread to Pregnancy Choices. We hope you get some useful advice on there.

Best of luck to you.

Flowers
Original poster
sexndrugsnsausagerolls · 12/06/2018 22:31

Thanks hamandpease, and everyone else.

That's good to know about the medical, have read some accounts on line that have not been very reassuring. Will have a think about it.

I'm really hoping I am early so will have the option. Took the morning after pill about five weeks ago after stupidly not using a condom one night, maybe that was it, although I took it very quickly and thought it was reliable. Or maybe a condom spilt another time and we didn't notice. Had some spotting a couple of weeks ago, maybe that was implantation. Am driving myself mad trying to work out when it might have happened. Are the dating scans very accurate?

OP posts:
Frosty66612 · 12/06/2018 22:36

Apparently a lot of personal stories online about abortions are written by anti abortion people to scare women into not having them done. I got myself into such a state beforehand as I read so many horror stories. It honestly wasn’t any worse than a heavy period. Good luck with whatever You decide though. Oh and yes the dating scans are accurate give or take a couple of days or so

bluejelly · 12/06/2018 22:39

Best of luck to you OP. I had a termination in my 20s. It was fine and not something I regret. I hope you get the right support and make the right decision for you.

Original poster
sexndrugsnsausagerolls · 12/06/2018 22:39

Urgh do they really?! That's awful! The stories I read were pretty horrible. Going to stop googling.

Glad your experience was ok Frosty.

OP posts:
Original poster
sexndrugsnsausagerolls · 12/06/2018 22:44

Thanks blue. I don't regret the abortion I had when I was younger either, it was the right decision, but I didn't really deal with it very well and found it difficult for a long time after. Think I should learn from that and take advantage of counselling services this time if I go ahead.

OP posts:
wolfywynnie · 12/06/2018 22:50

I've had a medical at 8 weeks and it was honestly not as bad as some periods I've had, you will be given pain meds to take home but I never needed them. So if you're early enough I would recommend the medical and save yourself the hassle of a surgical (plus you get seen sooner if having a medical).
Marie Stopes were fantastic and beyond kind, definitely don't read the horror stories online, not credible at all.
Hope all goes well for you on Thursday Flowers

Alookerer · 12/06/2018 23:27

Best of luck OP Thanks

AdoraBell · 13/06/2018 09:29

I hope the appointment goes well tomorrow for you. Definitely take advantage of the counselling and maybe mention the way your previous experience left you feeling.

Torvi · 13/06/2018 10:41

Hi OP, I just wanted to offer my support. I had a medical termination yesterday through Marie Stopes. I think I was 6 weeks and honestly it wasn't too bad. The staff were lovely and the appointment was over in less than 45 mins. I had some heavy bleeding for a 3 or 4 hours which started a couple of hours after the tablets. I managed to sleep ok and today the bleeding is more like a normal period. I woke up feeling so much better, not only relief that the worst of it is over but I feel more like myself again.
Good luck, I hope everything goes smoothly for you Thanks

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 13/06/2018 11:19

@Torvi, very kind, and brave of you to post.💐