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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

Pregnancy soon after termination.

49 replies

Topaz89 · 03/01/2018 09:25

Is it possible to fall pregnant just a few months after having a medical termination?
I'm just wondering what other people's experiences are of this?

OP posts:

PorklessPie · 03/01/2018 17:58

I had a medical termination because of anencephaly discovered at the 12 week scan. I fell pregnant 3 months later (had to take high dose folic acid before ttc).

WanderingTrolley1 · 04/01/2018 06:44

Are you trying for another baby, Topaz?

IToughtISawAPuddyCat · 04/01/2018 06:52

I had a termination end December and conceived late March the following year.
I carried that pregnancy to term.
I think it was only my 2nd cycle after I'd stopped bleeding from the termination (which was medical by the way).

Original poster

Topaz89 · 04/01/2018 07:41

WanderingTrolley Yes. I'm just worried about what damage I have done to myself.

PuddyCat and PorkPie Thank you for sharing. I had the abortion in October and had one period since then. I'm expecting my next one mid January. My worry is that I'm not ovulating or the abortion has caused scarring or something.

OP posts:

IToughtISawAPuddyCat · 04/01/2018 08:37

I was really worried about that too. Drs reassured me there was no reason to worry on that score.

HiggedyPiggedy · 04/01/2018 08:53

There is a difference between a 'medical termination' (vs surgical) and a 'termination for medical reasons' (TFMR).

OP, if you want to conceive again after a medical termination which was not a TFMR then it might be worth having some counselling to discuss the reasons why you had the termination, and whether the situation has changed? You sound anxious, I hope you get the support you need.

If you had a TFMR then the medical professionals involved should be able to advise re trying again.

I hope it works out for you.

Lixon · 04/01/2018 09:20

I had a termination for medical reasons following a diagnosis of Edward syndrome in February this year and then conceived in April. I had had two miscarriages prior to the termination but now have a five week old baby sleeping on my stomach so it is definitely possible

RavingRoo · 04/01/2018 09:22

Was it a surgical intervention? If not there is unlikely to be scarring - you could pay for a private uterine scan (transvaginal) if you’re anxious.

Original poster

Topaz89 · 04/01/2018 09:29

PuddyCat they have reassured me too. I can be very pessimistic though and always fear the worst.

Higgedy it was a medical termination but not for medical reasons. I'm really sorry if this offends anyone. I am going through a loss which I know was caused by me, but I was not thinking straight at the time. I cannot understand what was wrong with me at the time. I made a massive mistake having the termination. After having 3 perfect pregnancies with no doubts about any of them I am devastated that I didn't let that one be the same. I didn't reach out for help and support like I should have done, and that's where I went wrong. The pregnancy was unplanned and I was just scared and in shock and hid away from people. Now that I know I would have been ok and people would not have judged me I am praying so much that I am blessed with another opportunity. I have never had any problems with my fertility in the past and I can just see me having problems now as punishment for what I've done.

OP posts:

Original poster

Topaz89 · 04/01/2018 09:34

RavingRoo, no there was no surgery involved.
I'm going to look in to a private scan.

OP posts:

RavingRoo · 04/01/2018 09:37

Cool. I doubt there will be scarring. You can get a scan through BMI or BUPA - get a referral for a gaencologist

IToughtISawAPuddyCat · 04/01/2018 09:39

My termination was not for medical reasons either. I too was plagued by regret for what I'd done!

IToughtISawAPuddyCat · 04/01/2018 09:41

I am massively pessimistic (and anxious) too....

UnitedKungdom · 04/01/2018 09:47

Topaz, I think you need to think carefully about whether you are having this baby because you want a baby or be abuse you want to fix what happened. The reasons you felt unable to continue the last pregnancy have ultimately not changed, they are just hidden by upset over the termination. If you had wanted a baby in any way at all the last time I don't think you'd have made the decision you did. Now you are tearing yourself up thinking the reason you terminated was 'other people reactions' etc. I think the problem was your reaction, not theirs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the choice you made but I think before you jump into another baby you need to think about whether you actually want one or whether you're trying to undo the termination.

Original poster

Topaz89 · 04/01/2018 09:50

Another worry I have iis that I think I have something wrong on the right hand side. I'm wondering if it might be a cyst. Do these usually go away on their own? I'm having some swabs done tomorrow to rule out infection.

PuddyCat I'm so glad things worked out for you. How do you feel nowadays about the termination?

OP posts:

IToughtISawAPuddyCat · 04/01/2018 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Underparmummy · 04/01/2018 10:16

I had a termination in late June and was pregnant early Jan.

He is an enormous beast of a 3 year old now.

The termination was the right decision for us as a family at the time. It is sad and I was so upset by the whole thing (personally now Im done, Id have an elected hysterectomy, an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy is an awful, awful feeling) but time moves on and lives continue.

Battleax · 04/01/2018 10:19

United is speaking sense.

You've clearly been very distressed about this for months, before and after.

Why don't you make a deal with yourself to hit the pause button for six months, and use that time to get some good quality counselling and a gynaecologist referral to check for cysts etc. Then in the summer, you can revisit the TTC question with a clearer head and fuller information?

You need to be kind to yourself and take it all a step at a time

LetBartletBeBartlet · 04/01/2018 10:21

I agree with what Unitedkungdom has written.

Since discovering that your dh has been unfaithful with another man (apologies if this is another poster and I'm getting mixed up) , have you had a check for STI and an HIV screening? They could be linked to the pain you're experiencing.

Underparmummy · 04/01/2018 10:24

Sorry to be clear, we had 2dc when I terminated so we infect delayed dc3 as June was not the right time for us for many reasons. It did convince us a dc3 could happen though when other things were resolved.

I think many would think us calculating but we are happy and everyone is always a critic of everyone else life.

WanderingTrolley1 · 04/01/2018 22:47

You’re racing in to having another child with the man who cheated on you?

You’re making a rash decision - another you’re going to regret.

Bubblegum89 · 05/01/2018 00:12

Topaz first of all, there’s no shame in having a termination so don’t feel the need to justify yourself. Also a medical abortion wouldn’t cause scarring, scarring is caused by surgical intervention so no need to worry about that. I do empathise with your point about not getting pregnant after a termination is a punishment. I too was pushed into having a termination I didn’t want and had had no fertility issues prior to that (conceived twice after one missed pill each time) I have now been trying for 14 months with no pregnancies at all. However I did have a surgical termination and I do believe I have scarring. I believe that is my punishment for what I did. I know deep down that’s not the case at all but I understand how difficult it is to think otherwise. I also agree with a PP regarding the reasoning for having another baby. Your termination wasn’t that long ago and I know soon after mine all I wanted was to be pregnant again because I felt so sad and lost and empty. But despite me not wanting the termination, the circumstances weren’t right at the time I got pregnant and I knew trying for another baby wasn’t the right thing to do. I waited almost two years after to try again. It’s a tough situation and one you need to think long and hard about. Good luck!

Original poster

Topaz89 · 05/01/2018 11:55

If I can't conceive again then it will destroy me even more.
I should have been feeling the baby kicking now. I would have been about 20 weeks. In June I'm going to be thinking I should be holding a baby now. Then at Christmas I will be thinking this would have been the baby's first Christmas. Then I'm going to see children in years to come and think "my childwould have been that age/my child would have been doing that". And of course I'm also going to be wondering who that person would have been.
Having another baby would be the only thing that will heal me, and will give me the chance to give someone the love I want to give the baby I have lost. I do want a baby and I don't want that opportunity to be gone forever. And of course I also have my existing children to shower with love and I do now more than ever.

My partner sent a few messages to another person but he has not done anything with that person. When I had a full sti check they all came back clear. I went to the doctors today and had an internal examination and had some swabs taken. When she did the examination I felt no pain and the swabs will come back next week. I am hoping I will be referred for an ultrasound too.

OP posts:

Original poster

Topaz89 · 05/01/2018 12:00

I think if I could be reassured for absolute certain that I will have another baby in the future then I will be more relaxed and happy. It's that feeling that I may have thrown away my last ever opportunity that kills me.

OP posts:

Battleax · 05/01/2018 12:01

Is your NN a clue that you're about 28 years old?

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