Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Abortion

49 replies

InAPickleToday · 28/12/2017 11:28

I'm booked in to have an abortion in a couple of weeks. I'm having the two pills in one day. Has anyone been through something simialr? Cab you explain the process?

Lady on the phone me tioned a scan, consultation and monitoring. Do I have to have a scan?

Thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

InAPickleToday · 28/12/2017 11:41

Anyone?

OP posts:

LisaSimpsonsbff · 28/12/2017 11:44

I haven't been through it myself, but my understanding is you do have to have the scan to check it isn't ectopic, as that would be dangerous for you. I'm sure you don't have to see it if you don't want to, though. I hope it all goes as well as possible. Do you have anyone to go with you? I think ideally you would, as you might feel a bit weak and tired straight afterwards.

Original poster

InAPickleToday · 28/12/2017 11:46

My DP will try and get the day off work but I doubt he will be able to as he's a teacher

OP posts:

MrsMaxwell · 28/12/2017 11:46

I think you have to have a scan to date it as you can only have a “medical” abortion up to 9 weeks, after than you need another procedure.

You don’t have to view the screen though.

Good luck op

Original poster

InAPickleToday · 28/12/2017 11:49

I see, I'm glad I dont have to view the screen.

OP posts:

BearLeft · 28/12/2017 11:49

Haven't experienced it first hand but have supported a friend through the process. The clinicians were very pleasant, professional and empathetic. The scan is for safety reasons. You wont have to look. It will just ensure chemical abortion is appropriate.

My friend found the pain quite upsetting and the process of passing the pregnancy at home very hard.

However, she recovered well and has no regrets.

It was not the right time for her to carry a pregnancy.

Well done for recognising that it is not the right time for you either currently.

All my best supprtive wishes to you.

HanarCantWearSweaters · 28/12/2017 11:49

I went with my friend who had one yesterday. She had finger prick blood test, the scan which you don’t have to look at unless you ask. She took one pill orally and then was given 4 pills to insert into the vagina. She had to sit down for 10 minutes and then we went home. Cramps started in about an hour and after 6 hours she passed the sac and the pain lessened significantly. Heavy period-like bleeding after that.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 28/12/2017 11:51

My teacher husband has had a few days off to come to things with me. It's sort of similar but other end of the spectrum - miscarriage appointments and then early scans - but I was absolutely adamant that he not tell anyone what was wrong/happening and he found they were absolutely fine with 'Lisa has a hospital appointment and needs me to go with her' as an explanation, with no further details asked for. So he should definitely ask - and I hope he'll be able to come with you. It's important and a one-off, so he should be insistent.

PlumberIAmNot · 28/12/2017 11:58

You will have to have the scan to check you have your dates right as medical abortion is only an option up to a certain point in your pregnancy. But the screen will be turned away and you won't have to see anything. The consultation is to check that you have chosen to go ahead and that you are not being forced into this or coerced. I found the procedure unpleasant but not unbearable although I'm glad I had someone to drive me home after as I wouldn't have wanted to have used public transport. My main piece of advice would be to take your own sanitary towels as the ones they gave me were like proper old school mattress-style that attached with a belt and were deliberately non-absorbent so they could monitor blood loss. I changed into one of my own Always Ultra night pads for the journey home and was far more comfortable.
Good luck.

Original poster

InAPickleToday · 28/12/2017 12:16

Thanks for all your kind words I think I'm slightly naive. I didnt realise how much I'd bleed and that I'd pass a sack.

OP posts:

LisaSimpsonsbff · 28/12/2017 12:33

You might not - do you know how far along you are? If it's very early then there'll be much less blood and pregnancy tissue. When I've miscarried (which is the same process physically) there was heavy bleeding and a visible sac at 7.5 weeks, but earlier it was just bleeding.

Make sure you ask as many questions as you have about that side of things to the person who does the consultation - I'm sure they'll be able to reassure you, and it's best that you're as prepared as possible.

Elsiejane · 28/12/2017 12:57

I had an abortion recently (already have one DS 12mo) and am at college. I was diagnosed with hyperemesis again in this pregnancy and knew i wouldnt be able to cope so i believe i made the right choice.
I was 8/9 weeks when i had the abortion, i went for an appointment to discuss my options etc, and booked medical abortion. I had a scan to see how far along i was (they had the screen so i couldn't see it but i could have asked to see if i wanted to). They do the scan to ensure that the correct method of abortion is being used compared to how far along you are. I then took some tablets and went home (this was a friday). I was told its unlikely i would bleed however i passed a big sac and did bleed quite a bit (this is normal however uncommon). I went back on the monday, had the 4 tablets that dissolve under the lip, had an anti sickness tablet and a pain relief suppository. I also had the depo injection whilst i was there to avoid this happening again. After the tablets had dissolved i was sent home. I had heavy bleeding for about 5 days, cramps for the first 3/4 days. Then the bleeding slowed down. However once in a while it would come back heavy then slow right down again (this happened for about 2.5 weeks). 4 weeks after the tablets i had to do i pregnancy test to confirm the pregnancy had gone and had to phone hospital to give them confirmation.
I was quite emotional but knew i had done the right thing.
I hope you are okay, message me if you have any questions or need a chat

Elsiejane · 28/12/2017 12:58

I should mention that you will pass clots as well that can be very large but this is nothing to worry about.

Elsiejane · 28/12/2017 13:02

I should also add that my hospital wouldnt let me leave without having someone to drive me home and i do suggest taking your own pads too.
Every hospital does things differently so dont be alarmed if they do it a little differently than some people have said.
Some hospitals say put the tablets in your vagina, others say in the mouth.
Also, if you have the dissolvables and they have not fully gona after 30 mins - 45 mins then you can just swallow whats left.

Coastalcommand · 28/12/2017 13:03

Sending hugs OP. You sound like you might be a bit unsure about it. Is there anyone you can talk it through with? Have you been offered any counselling?

Elsiejane · 28/12/2017 13:06

I went on my own and found that fine however i found i could have probably done with the company while waiting to go home. There was another lady with her friend opposite me (all curtains closed) and all i could hear was her moaning about how she had to put this suppository up her bum and didnt want to but also didnt want to be in pain (suppository was optional but i would recommend). She was doing my head in, complaining about how long the process took, and why couldnt she have the tablets in her vagina etc..
I just kept thinking my god, youre not the first person to do this, shut up, stop moaning and get it done eith

Original poster

InAPickleToday · 28/12/2017 15:22

It's not something I thought I would have to do that's probably why I sound unsure. I'm upset because it isn't like I don't want anymore children. It's just the absolute worst possible timing

OP posts:

violetbluesky · 28/12/2017 15:25

I had misoprostal as part of a medical miscarriage and I believe it's the same
Drug used for an abortion.

It fucking hurt like fuck. I could pretend it didn't but Jesus Christ it was so painful

changer776687 · 28/12/2017 15:39

OP I had a medical abortion in January. You get a scan and blood test, then they book you in to take the pills. My hospital wouldn't let me leave without someone with me to drive me home & stay with me for the day. I had been told several horror stories about how painful it would be and was dreading it (not that I'm doubting those experiences), but I had painkillers and a hot water bottle and can honestly say it barely hurt at all, definitely no worse than the mildest cramp.

What I would say, perhaps patronisingly, is to seriously consider any counselling they offer. I said no to it because I was sure I didn't want kids and didn't actually think of the abortion as a huge deal. Then afterwards I spent months in bits suffering from a sort of delayed shock and trauma with no one to talk to. I'm sure you'll be fine, but I was shocked by how much it affected me afterwards and wonder whether counselling wouldn't have helped me 'move on' quicker.

Original poster

InAPickleToday · 28/12/2017 15:55

Thank you all for your support and advice

OP posts:

Ellendegeneres · 28/12/2017 16:24

Hey, so yes, a scan is a must- to determine how far along you are and like someone else said, to ensure it's not ectopic.
You'll be ok, honestly. But if you opt for the tablets, be prepared for an awful lot of blood clots, mine went on for over 6hours and that was just the worst of it. By the next morning it was pretty much done but some blood loss still ongoing.
I kind of went numb to it, which was my way of protecting myself I guess- but I was alarmed at how much there was, and that they hadn't warned me of it.
Also, something to bear in mind, I asked at the time of second tablet if they scan again to ensure everything has been passed, they said no, very rare for anything to remain. I jinxed myself clearly, because 3months later, suffering 'women's problems' I was sent back to have a scan- and promptly whisked to theatre where they performed an erpc. I had an awful lot of infection and was very poorly.
As I said, this is the exception not the rule- but something to bear in mind. It made me wish I'd opted for the surgical procedure

ClaryFray · 28/12/2017 16:31

You have to have the scan but they don't show you. They keep the screen turned away. I went through it a few years ago.

Good luck OP

Original poster

InAPickleToday · 28/12/2017 16:38

@Ellendegeneres How awful! I'm glad you're ok. Scary how wrong it can go!

OP posts:

MNHQ

LornaMumsnet · 28/12/2017 16:45

Hi there OP,

We want you to get as much support and advice as possible and so we're going to move this thread over to our pregnancy choices topic.

cheshiremama89 · 28/12/2017 16:51

I think this is what I had when I had a failed pregnancy (blighted ovum).
I spent the entire day in hospital and from what I remember it started off pretty easy pain wise and progressively got worse.
Essentially contractions until your body expels what's in there.
Every time I had a wee, I had to wee into a cardboard bucket thing, so they could examine it.

Hope it goes ok

They did offer me an injection for the pain but I did it without due to a severe phobia of needles x

Flip

1 2