Unplanned pregnancy and abortion

[Jadebee1]

I understand this may seem very insensitive to anyone who has been trying for a long time or suffered a miscarriage and I apologise if this thread upsets anyone.

We found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago and the shock has now worn off and reality set in.

We have been together 11 years and are both 28, we've just brought our first home and have done it up to nothing short of our dream home.

Now that we are settled and living life in our own home and have our own space my partner is starting to doubt if a baby would fit in our lives, neither of us have ever expressed a desire for children and being a mum wasn't something I saw in my future, but now I'm pregnant it all feels real. I have a high powered job that I don't know if I could take 9 months off from and walk back into, I worry I'll lose touch with the Industry and I've worked so hard to be here. My partner never learnt to drive (stupid really but because I could drive we never really needed him too) and so would need to learn super quick. And then there's the fact we have just used up 11 years worth of savings on our home and suddenly I feel a little out of control.

I made an appointment with bpas (who were so very lovely) but I cancelled it three days later because I'm so conflicted.

Any ladies out there give any advice on abortions or keeping a baby that might help me out? It feels like a massive decision that either way is going to impact what should be the start of our best years together.

Hi OP. I've reported your post to MNHQ to have it moved to the Pregnancy Choices forum. You should get better support there.

Thank you, I didn't realise that was a forum on here. Should of looked better :(

No worries. Don't be daft - you've clearly got things on your mind

It all comes down to whether you want children. You're in a secure relationship, you have a home and jobs. Sounds ideal if you do want children. If you don't, have the abortion. I've had one and it was fine.

Your partner not being able to drive seems like a very minor reason not to have a baby.

I know you must be conflicted but things will start to feel better once you make the decision - either way you'll be able to plan and get on with your lives.

Also lots of women with good jobs have babies - it can work.

Re-book the BPAS appointment - and go. You need to talk this through with someone who has the right skills to help you sort out your feelings.

Absolutely just comes down to whether you want a child and whether you want to be parents.

All the practicalities will sort themselves. Lots of people take time out of work , lots of parents don't drive, lots don't have much savings .

But none of that really matters. If you want a child you'll make it work. But if you don't that's the key. You don't have to be a parent if you don't want to.

Maybe try to imagine yourself at the key stages of a child's life. On maternity, at nursery, at school, 1st job. If these seem like exciting times you might want to have, then do it. If you really dont see yourself happy with a child, then you don't need to

Hi, we're moving this thread over to our Pregnancy Choices topic now.

Thank you everyone for all your help, I went to bpas today and spoke to a lovely lady who really helped me put everything in perspective, we are still young and this situation has made us think we would like children in the future but now is not the right time.

They gave me same day treatment as only showing at 6 weeks so apart from the pain at the moment I'm feeling good about my decision.

Thank you again ladies.

Ah, OP . Hope you're feeling ok.