Appointment with Gp tomorrow morning - what can I expect re- timings?

[Pregnantandscared99]

Separated from husband and have since found out that I am pregnant.

Obviously not a great time. I am effectively sofa surfing and waiting on starting a new job involving long hours and long commute.

I only found out on Saturday evening and managed to book an appointment with the gp for Monday morning.

What can I expect the process to be?

I have a wedding to go to this weekend far away from home from fri-sun.

And I have a feeling the job offer coming through would like an immediate start from me.

Will either of these be possible with a termination being booked?

Timings seem to depend on area.

For me, I was offered a termination 4 days after the initial appointment (I'm in London so more options for places to go I guess).

I felt physically and emotionally fine straight away. My termination was at 12pm and I was in work at 2pm the same day. They do recommend around 3 days to recover though!

So, yes, those things are both possible but you will have to see how you feel. We aren't the same person and my experience won't necessarily be anything like yours! I did find it all far easier than I expected though. PM me if you want at any point.

You seem confident in your decision and I think that helps a lot. Good luck with your appointment

Yes I only needed 2 days off work and then I was back to normal.

Good luck

I have just got back from the GP.
She was very kind.

She felt me and estimated that I was at 18 weeks and referred me to BPAS.

I have just got off the phone with them and the earliest they can see me for a first consultation is Thursday.

I'm so scared. I can't believe I wouldn't have noticed this sooner.

Oh you poor thing. I don't know if recovery is any longer if you're further along in the pregnancy (I was 8 weeks). Was she able to give you any indication of that?

BPAS should be able to offer the first consultation and the termination on the same day, try calling them back and see if they can offer you this at all.

Take care of yourself. Plenty of women don't notice pregnancies early on, especially if you've had a lot going on.

I was about 15/16 weeks and still back to work in a few days, will you be having a surgical procedure? This is what I had and to be honest there was little to no pain, just quite emotional afterwards.

Don't be scared, you will get through this and we are here to support you every step of the way

I'm worried in case my doctors guess at 18 weeks is wrong and what if I'm further along than that?

I'm worried about the job offer and I just want to hide away.

I have been reading up about late abortion 19-24 weeks and it makes me feel like such a terrible person to be doing this to something that is already a girl or a boy

Well they could be wrong and you could be 20 weeks. Or they could be wrong and you're 16 weeks. Try not to worry about all the what if's now, you'll get a scan to confirm before anything goes ahead.

While I was earlier, I still chose a surgical termination. It really wasn't too bad at all. Some cramping and discomfort but I wouldn't describe it as pain.

What is it that worries you about the job offer? Is it the starting date coinciding with your recovery?

Whatever you do please do not read any pro-life sites. It's a load of shit to make you feel bad. Do you want to terminate because it's the best decision for you and your life at this moment in time? If you can say yes to that then there's no reason to feel guilt. it doesn't make you a terrible person at all. Please don't beat yourself up about this. It really is ok to put yourself first. Have a hug from me. Like thisisnow said we're here for you along the way.

I know it's the right decision to terminate now.

I wouldn't have considered bringing life into this world when I have no home, separated from husband and am just starting a new career

I didn't feel as bad thinking that I was only 6-8 weeks along for some reason.

I feel very alone.

The job offer I had wanted me to start immediately and I was in negotiations which I have not yet come back on.

I really feel like I am not in a good place right now to be starting a new job.
This has made me all so confused.

Its worse because a year ago I would have been so excited to be pregnant. And based on the websites I've read, I'm potentially going to be dealing with this for a few weeks and then bleeding for a while after too which will coincide with my 30th birthday.

An occasion I had once been very excited for

Can you speak to the new employer and say that you have a medical appointment on x date and will need to start on y date because of it? Obviously you don't need to explain the reasons for it to them if you're not comfortable doing so.

I don't think anything should take a few weeks. Every woman is different, of course, but I bled heavily for a few days and then much lighter for a couple of weeks longer. After the initial heavy bleeding it's no different to a medium flow on your period. Your birthday should be absolutely fine and you should go ahead and enjoy it.

Do you have anybody IRL who's helping you through it at all. It's not easy, you have the emotions of this plus the relationship ending, the job offer, the sofa surfing etc. it's really important to not let it overwhelm you for your own sake and having people to talk to and offer practical support can be a massive help.

I too only had little bleeding afterwards, and I felt completely fine physically.

It is a hard thing to go through there is no getting away from that but it sounds like you're doing it for the right reasons.

Sounds like everything has come at once for you, which is so often the case.

Agree it would be good for you to have someone to talk to in real life, I really hope you're okay and believe once this is over the new job may prove a welcome distraction.

I have had a late termination at 22 weeks (albeit for medical reasons, ours was a much wanted baby therefore I suffered a great deal of grief after)

In terms of physical process I had a medical management which is very different to the surgical management. However, I only bled for around 10 days after and it wasn't at all painful, not even like a period so in those terms you might be ok.

I definitely suffered a hormonal crash which left me drained and emotional. Also, just a warning, depending how far on you are, my milk came in a few days after which was horrific although more in a emotional sense. Ibuprofen sorted me out in those terms.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

So sorry you had that ordeal with a much wanted baby.

I feel so awful.

I woke up this morning like it had all just been a dream.
I wonder how long I would have gone on for without knowing if I hadn't had this appointment with the specialist

I am at a wedding from Friday. So scared people will notice.

After having not noticed any symptoms at all for how ever long it's been, I'm noticing everything now.
Tastes, tiredness, headaches, feelings in my stomach.

I had thought I was putting on weight so I had been exercising more and eating less for quite a while. It now explains why my clothes have become tight and my stomach doesn't lie like it did when I am on my back.

I am now wearing baggy tops and scarfs just in case my parents notice. Hoping I'm just crazy

Also so scared of hiding it from my parents once I go through with it.

The clinic is so far away and I am likely to be there for a full day.

I am going to have to find someone I can talk to who will take me and bring me home as apparently they don't let you drive.

I've never been under general anaesthetic before which is scary too.

I'm emotional as it is right now. Have cried every day for he past month (still didn't put two and two together as I thought it was just stress)

How will I cope afterwards?

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad today.

I would say you need to tell someone in real life to support you in things like getting home etc. if you don't want to tell them you're pregnant and having a termination could you say you're having a minor gyne op? That way no questions asked but you can ask for a lift home, people will understand if you're a little 'under the weather' afterwards.

You're only noticing it yourself now because you actually know. Nobody else will notice, I promise you.

Do you have anybody at all you can ask? I bet there's a MNer happy to take you if you say your general area. Or a cab home if it isn't too expensive?

Mine was done under a local, I don't know if that's an option for you at this stage in the pregnancy? If it is then you'll be able to take yourself home.

You're bound to feel emotional, it's a big thing that you're going through.

I agree that you need someone to support you afterwards, you may feel a little shaky or just need someone there. Could you ask a friend? Or like OddSocks says a cab would be fine, as long as you don't have to get on a train full of people you should be fine.

Really hope you're okay, as a side note I had general anaesthetic and it's absolutely fine. Just feels like being asleep and then you wake up and it's all over.

I am feeling a bit more calmer today.

My scan with the BPAS clinic is tomorrow morning.

I am just terrified they will say that I am too far gone

I'm glad you're feeling calmer.

I'd be surprised if your GP is that many weeks out while examining you. If they estimated you to be around 18ish weeks they'd have to be 6 weeks out for you to be too far gone. I'd be very surprised if a GP got it that wrong.

There's nothing you can do until you know tmrw. Not helpful but try to be kind to yourself today and not get pulled into the 'what ifs'

Thank you. I suppose she would have to be far out.

I have been googling photos of women at different stages and I don't have that much of a bump

It's weird to think this time last week I just thought that I had put on a few pounds and now I'm noticing it so much , it's like it's made a sudden appearance over the past week and now my jeans are too tight!

I went swimming with a friend yesterday and I think I carried it off ok.
I've never been skinny so a bit of a belly on me wouldn't surprise anyone except myself knowing how little I've eaten for the past 4 weeks!

Wondering what it will feel like after. If I will feel empty. If my stomach will look smaller or if that takes time.

I just got back from the clinic.

I am 20 weeks.

How are you feeling? Try not to think of how far along you are, at least you are still within the legal time-frame to have it done so the choice hasn't been taken from you - sorry if that sounds insensitive.

I've got mixed emotions

I am sad because it's so far along and it has no idea that I'm going down this route

On the other hand I am scared because it means I need to go to a London clinic and spend all day and do it without family finding out

My friend (the only one who knows so far) can't come with me and I've been told I need someone with me to drive me home as its a general.

So I am seeing a friend tonight to talk and ask for their help. Which I am terrified of.
My heart hasn't stopped racing.

I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.

You have to do what's right for you. I hope your friend is supportive and can come with you.

good luck to you, I hope your friend can help

I hope your friend can help too. I'd happily help you out (I'm in London) but I don't have a car. I'm so sorry they can't do it closer to home for you, I can imagine that just makes it all worse.

If you really get stuck then PM me I'll help sort you out with a cab and a hotel room for the night