preparing to make a success of breast feeding, ideas?

[sedgiebaby]

Any ideas please or books, videos, online resources? I'm a first time mum and 30 wks, I really want to make a go of breast feeding and I hear so many who have difficulty and ultimately fail. .

I really feel I need a step by step guide and detail on what to expect, common problems etc.

(I've tried searching on youtube and OMG @ the search results)

good post spiderlight about getting hung up on worries - I am red headed with sensitive skin and the thought of "toughening up" my nipples like the old wives tale by scrubbing them with a towel makes me wince. But I've never really had any issues with sore nipples (obviously I've had a few incidents but nothing significant)

My primary problem was incredibly sore nipples (sorry if tmi) despite the bf counsellor insisting that would only happen with incorrect position/latching on, that wasn't the problem. I just seem to be prone to that. Have bf 3 so far and will my 4th soon. I remember a very young 1st time mum in the ward with me giving up bf on day 2 because she was so sore, and the mw was going on and on about proper attachment. I wanted to tell her to just persevere for a few more days, and it would pass! After 7-10 days each time it was completely comfortable, and totally worth it. HTH

this is a great thread, thank you. I really want to breastfeed but my sister-in-law tried and failed, I think mainly due to lack of support.

I hadn't thought of going along to a group beforehand. I know there is one that meets near to me. Bit nervous about the idea of asking to go along before I pop but I guess if I have been once or twice before the baby arrives it might make it easier later...

I did - there was even a woman there who showed me how she latched her baby on in great detail! I do think that was incredibly helpful.

I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but when I fed DS it hurt in the first few days, and I was worried that it would be like that always. It wasn't and we bf'd until he was 10 months.

Also I was very strict on making sure he was latched properly.

And another thing is that I had a cupboard with bottles steriliser and formula in it. I didn't want the pressure. In the end I didn't need it, but I was glad it was there.

Books:
Ina May Gaskin Guide to Breastfeeding
The Food of Love: Kate Evans

Drink a lot of water - you're drinking for two (although you should be doing that already)
Investigate co-sleeping - keeps you sane by increasing the amount of time you're sleeping/resting
Get a sling so you can BF while walking round the house/out and about - a ring sling is the best IMO
Never feel that you're not getting anything done because you're trapped on the sofa BFing. You are getting something done - you're BFing!!!
Accept that you will doubt your boobs - but trust them and you'll be fine. For me day 2-3 was hideous as DS was sucking like mad and the milk wasn't there yet. it was AGONY - my latch was fine but my nipples just weren't toughened up yet. It would have been really tempting to quickly give DS some formula to give my boobs a rest BUT your body/boobs need the stimulation to know how much milk to make. I did the toe curling thing for 16 hours and then the milk came, and then he slept and then I healed and after that it was all fine - but don't let anyone tempt you with the 'easy' option...
After 2/3 weeks once my supply was established we did get a couple of cartons of pre-made formula for DS just in case i went under a bus or something. Didn't use them

Oooh and remember that people who FF will be defensive about their decision. My MIL went on for ages about how she FF her 3 and they were all fine....

hello op - firstly you can do it!!!

secondly the useful stuff. yy to it will take up all your time in the first few weeks and actually, take the constant feeding if it happens as a sign that your boobs and the baby are in sync and doing a great job together building the milk supply.

next expect to want a massive drink/food as soon as the baby latches on - you oculd forwarn your dp about this as in 'i know you're not my waiter but this is what bf does to the mother's body please help :-)'

expect it to be super messy at frist and for your boobs to hurt and leak and get sore but after a few weeks it will all start to work like clockwork

do not expect to fail! bf failing in the physical sense isnt that common but mothers who have gone through this feel very emotional about it and (deservedly) need to talk about it a lot but this makes it seem more prevalent than it probably is. i come from a big family of bf'ers and only one mum had any prblems - the rest of us have sailed on to 12 months with no or v minimal issues (i'm not being smug at all - i just mean that the statistics are in your favour)

lastly - in the early months if you get too tired or dont eat enough for a day of so this can affect the milk (but this can also be just a growth spurt where they want to feed all the time anyway)- either will cause the baby to feed and feed and then cry in frustration. if this happens you need to take a break and get your dp/dm/ils etc to take the baby for a few hours so you can rest and eat (nhs direct advice to me) and odds are by the next morning all will be well so dont panic inititally if this happens - naturally if all is not well in the morning you need to see an HP but you see what i mean hopefully.

hope that was helpful - wishing amazing bf vibes :-)

if you get engorged when your milk comes in, rip up a savoy cabbage leaf, keep it in the fridge, and stuff pieces in your bra. Change when the piece is lightly steamed. It really works!

use the midwives at the hospital, though be aware that they all express their opinion as fact which can be confusing if they say you're doing it wrong when you're doing it how another mw has instructed you! There are lots of different positions and ways to get the baby to latch on. If your hospital has one go to a breastfeeding workshop before the birth. Find out if there is a breastfeeding cafe near you, mine was very helpful indeed.

I did find it difficult to begin with (tiny baby and big soft boobs didn't seem to be a good mix!) but a few things really made a difference. I was lucky in that DP had a month off and he did EVERYTHING round the house and that support was brilliant - yes, he couldn't help with the actual feeding but his support was fantastic.

I also found the night feeds difficult in that I couldn't get comfy in bed with the nursing pillow, so I would get up and take DD into the spare room which had a sofa and feed her there whilst watching TV on iPlayer - some people think this is a hassle but for me it worked well, I was comfortable and I didn't have so worry about DP being disturbed - she was a very slow feeder for quite a long time and sitting in the semi-dark staring into space whilst she kept sliding off cos couldn't get position right for an hour or so was a drag and it was then that I felt like giving up.

Finally, once DD got big enough I dispensed with the nursing pillow and from then on, though it was going well, it was a total breeze, especially feeding her when out and about. She is now 6.5 months, went from the 9th to the 25th centile pretty quickly, where she has stayed, and I love feeding her and hope to carry on for as long as is feasible (the teeth are coming through eeek).

good luck!

I think that you should say it nagoo! I think that a lot of new breastfeeding mums have pains/mastitis early on and think 'how on earth can I carry on doing this?' but actually need to know that the pain goes quickly as you and the baby develop your technique. Then it's fine! I know that I was really suprised by it all (the frequency of feeds, needing tutoring to get a good latch...)I had thought that it would be second nature. And it was, after a little help and time.

What helped me to continue was the understanding of my husband that breastfeeding was what we both wanted for the baby, he was very supportive and sat up with me in the night sometimes when I was having a hard time.

In the end, I fed my dd1 for 18m and am fully BF dd2 who is 5mo.

I heartily recommend a decent V pillow, lansinoh, and MN as support tools!

When I have listend to friends stories of why they couldn't feed they have all been issues that could be resolved & infact perfectly normal, just not what they expected."I was only producing yellow froth"...colosturum !!! "I didn't produce enough milk & my baby wanted feeding all the time"...BF babies do feed all the time at the begining.
Believe you can do it, ask for help as many times as you feel you need to & if you feel you are not getting the help you need ask another midwife/health visitor etc.
Don't but bottles 'just incase' & don't let anyone tell you your baby needs 'topping up' with a bottle in the early days ( unless baby is low birth weight, but in this case you should cup feed)
You can do it & it is the best bonding experience

Psst - it might be really easy!

Tiktok told me this when I was stressing while pregnant (or to be more accurate, she pointed out that people who had no problems tended not to talk about it as much, they just got on with it.

Believe it will be easy. But know where your sources of support are if it isn't.

sedgiebaby, you've made a good start already by posting on here, lots of great tips!

I definitely agree with the posters talking about having realistic expectations. With my first DD, she literally fed for an hour at a time, every other hour - until 5/6pm of course when the pattern was more like feed for 20 minutes, stop for 20, feed for 20, stop for 20... you get the picture! It was only by checking on mn and talking to new friends from my antenatal group that I realised this was absolutely normal. And although it feels like it's going to last forever, it's actually just a few short weeks before you find yourself settling in to some sort of routine almost without noticing.

Another important factor for me was those new friends. You can't underestimate how reassuring it is to have people around you who are going through the same thing at the same time (in fact, even talking to mums whose babies were a month or two older wasn't as helpful, as the learning curve is so steep, they would have forgotten how they got through a particular phase by the time I was experiencing it ). Plus, we gave each other the courage to feed in public, much less daunting when there's two or three of you! In fact, another tip might be to have a look round your local shops and cafes to see where the other mums tend to gather - usually the places with half-decent changing facilities, enough room to get your pram in, and a comfortable atmosphere to feed in.

Good luck with everything!

Not sure if my attitude would work with everyone - lots of people who have been successful have been determined from the beginning but I was less so.

The best advice I can offer (it is what worked with me) is to relax, watch TV, look at a mag, sleep whilst BFing if possible (lying down position saved me).

Don't get yourself into the mentality that you have a "hungry baby". All babies are hungry - all the time and if they are gaining weight then it is a sign they are getting enough calories and aren't that hungry.

Also, if there is a problem ask someone who knows what they are talking about. Although some HVs are well intentioned they don't know about all the problems babies can have that stop them from BFing. The NCT helpline is useful but also if you feel you need it, your GP and if you are not happy then a referral to a paediatrician (I stress this because if there is a problem you need to get it sorted before it affects your ability to BF).

Ooh, just read sungirltan's post which reminds me of a few practical things - if you can, make sure you've got a big glass of water, a snack, the phone and some reading material to hand before you start a feed (plus try and go for a wee first ). Bloody annoying when you get the baby latched on nicely, only to feel twitchy for an hour because you could really do with one or all of these things!

bit of a hi-jack - thank you so much rubyslippers - as my baby will only take the breast too and you are the first person I have heard of who works ft and bf - inspiring stuff, brilliant!

What went well for me:

• I had no nipple pain whatsoever, I really don't know if I have nipples of steel or if we got the latch right quickly. I did obsessively compare DS's 'approach' and latch to a photograph in a BF leaflet and would take him off and adjust if it didn't look or feel right.

• A widgey cushion was invaluable to start with (esp as I had a C-sec scar) and then it got used later on to prop DS up in a sitting position

• I had made my mind up that I wouldn't formula feed DS unless there was literally no other option and I had decided that I would withstand any amount of pain/aggro until we got bf going well. As another poster said, I think this determination was a massive factor in succeeding.

• Excellent midwives helping at every feed whilst in hospital, including support when I had to express and syringe feed as well as bf.

What didn't go so well:

• Sometimes the midwives were a bit too helpful, offering advice to try another position when I was getting on fine and was finally feeling proud that I had it nailed! Trust your instincts and tell them you're fine if it feels as though it is.

• I found some positions really awkward (rugby hold and lying on my side) so always fed the 'normal' way even when lying down would be far apt!

• Not everyone in hospital was as supportive of bf as I'd have expected: DS was dehydrated due to a pg condition and the docs in NICU wanted to ff. It was late at night and no midwives were around and I had to really stand my ground (in tears ) and refuse to give him formula (and then embarked on a bf marathon thru the night!) Next morning, the midwife said I'd done the right thing and helped me do the expressing/bf as mentioned above.

• I constantly worried that DS was feeding for much less time than I'd been led to expect. Everyone I spoke to said that each feed lasted around 40 mins (or more), I was lucky if DS lasted more than 10 mins a feed. It took a while before I trusted that he was taking enough and that he was just an efficient feeder or my nipples are like hoses (steel hoses for nips )

• On the advice of the Baby Whisperer book, I obsessively wrote down all the details of each feed (which side, how long, what time) even if it was in the middle of the night - WHY??!

So... in a nutshell:

• Be determined
• Trust your instincts
• Really focus on getting the latch right
• Get as much help and support as you can
• Don't worry if your baby doesn't follow the bf norms
• Stand your ground in the face of suggestions to mix feed etc (unless you are damn sure that there is no other option)
• Relax and enjoy the time . Honestly, once you get going, breast feeding is sooo easy, convenient and lovely.

StealthPolarbear - your scrubbing-with-towels post has just made me wince too!! I'm red-headed too and even now after over 3 years of breastfeeding there's still no way I could do that. Yeowch. So glad it's not recommended any more because I suspect it would have put me off before I started.

Anyway, I just came back to say that a lovely breastfeeding pillow made a huge difference to me (and is still used daily even though DS is now twice the size of it, just because he's so attached to it), and will free at least one of your hands up to hold cake/TV remote/book/cake. I got mine from a lovely lady on ebay, and apparently made her cry a few weeks later by sending her a long hormonal message about how wonderful it was and much it had helped me with establishing bf. whichever one you get, make sure it comes with a spare cover because it will be puked on. A lot.

try lots of ways to get comfy/supported when you are actually bf. a chair or saofa with arms is a start - we have rubbish low arm sofas and i had to wedge a cushion under dd when she was wee or put my foot up on something so i could balance her on my thigh now shes bigger. also for night time feeds i always had a book on the go in dd's room. it stopped me getting impatient and made me more relxed with her - now i cant read because i'm all emotional about bf ending in a few months so i just stare at her! (sob sob) but however reading a book helped alot and made me feel less like bf was all i ever did in my life and or think about.

try a few different kinds of breat pad - i couldn't get on with the washable ones but others find those much more comfortable - i like the boots ultraslim ones which are bigger so move around less - but work out which serve you best.

also (assuming your baby is due this summer?) i found floaty cardigans the best way to feed in public - esp those waterfall hem type - you can just drape them over the babywhile you feed - works brilliantly snd you dont need anything extra.

lastly have at least 20 muslins if you can - you will go through so many a day and bm smells pretty bad and well having plenty in the drawer and more in the washing machine is just one less thing to have to bother about!

good luck x

Thank you sooooooo much everyone for the fantastic replies

I've just got back from work and was hoping for a response or two, I can't believe all the advice and support, I will read through everything again, and check resources.

The only thing mum has said is this bit about using a rough towel to toughen up the nips (ouch!)

In answer to other Q's I'm in the west country and baby is due mid sept.

Thanks again

Would second all the tips about spending ALL DAY feeding. I had not realised this or planned for it and we were moving house so in the end something had to give and it was the breastfeeding.
Be prepared for some funny old emotions if you have had or have a difficult relationship with your body and/or breasts. Breast feeding in public was a total no go for me because of this which also contributed to throwing in the towel. I wish I'd thought about this more before hand and planned for it.
well done you for being so realistic about it. I just assumed it would be fine and did not think it through in more detail and plan. I did go to a bf preparation meeting at a hospital but they just showed us a video about newborns crawling straight up to the breast and latching themselves on. Suffice to say that isn't really preparation for breastfeeding!

probably repeating things that others have said, but

firstly, you may be one of the 'lucky' ones! out of the 8 of us in my NCT group, 4 mums had babies that "just knew what to do". they found it a breeze in terms of getting the latch right and feeling confident that they had enough milk etc

secondly, even if you are 'lucky' in that respect, do be prepared to spend the majority of your time feeding at first. as one of the posters said here, ALL babies are hungry and want to feed a lot. it doesn't mean you haven't got enough milk or whatever (and it is exhausting).

also, if you are finding it difficult, don't hesitate to get help. i waited nearly 3 weeks before i went to a BF cafe, and by then i'd been told i was 'starving' my baby and advised to top him up.

but be reassured that you can and will do it. after a really painful start, damaging my milk supply by topping up (on the advice of my midwife) and having to really work to rebuild it... as well as many many other problems, i BF DS for over a year. it really is worth it.

best of luck!

Wow this is all great advice. I am really really hoping to have a successful breast feeding experience so these comments have been invaluable.

I have been in contact with the local NCT and am hoping to attend a breast feeding workshop before hand. They also have bi-monthly lunch gatherings where a breast feeding counsellor is available. However, I see everyone here talking about breastfeeding cafes - how do I find my local breastfeeding cafe? I am in Scotland.

Thanks!

just wanted to say that, encouraged by this thread, I contacted a local breastfeeding group today about going along while still pregnant to find out a bit more etc, and their reply was so lovely and welcoming, they are more than happy for me to come and indeed to a nursing bra fitting service in the final weeks of pregnancy, I feel a bit more confident going forwards now so thank you not sure I would have thought to contact them in advance without this thread

Your local NCT will probably know that as well Emmylou. When you go to your workshop you'll probably be given a handout with local dropins as well.