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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Do others love their unborn baby already?

35 replies

emmyloo2 · 01/07/2010 13:45

I know this is probably a stupid question but I am quite surprised at how much I love my little baby already, even though he is not yet born. I think since I saw him in 3D on Saturday and discovered he was a he, I just feel this immense love for him already.

Is that ridiculous? I find myself talking to him occasionally. Happily my husband is as equally besotted.

I just never thought I would be like this because tbh I don't even really like kids and had no maternal instinct or desire for children until I fell pregnant. Suddenly I am overwhelmed by this little guy hanging out inside me.

Anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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RobynLou · 01/07/2010 13:50

I remember with DD feeling a lot of love for her before she was born. I think scans etc really help with bonding, as can finding out the sex (though we didn't)

just be prepared that it might not be smooth sailing all the way, don't beat yourself up if once he's here you don't feel overwhelming love 100% of the time.

Your little boy is a very lucky one to be so loved by his mum and dad, you can never have too much love.

MadameG · 01/07/2010 14:22

I can relate to this, I am 28 weeks and I'm so loved up with our little boy already. I've given him a nickname and I just know he's going to be loved to bits by me and hubby!

Original poster

emmyloo2 · 01/07/2010 14:30

Thanks RobynLou.

I am under no illusion that things will be smooth sailing and I have heard of many women not immediately loving their baby after it is born.

I guess I just never thought I would love him so much before he was born. I keep thinking - how lucky he is to be born to parents who want him so much and grandparents who are already planning their lives around him.

It has just taken me a little by surprise but in a good way!

OP posts:

Original poster

emmyloo2 · 01/07/2010 14:31

That's lovely MadameG. We have given our guy a little nickname as well which is based on what we think we will call him (which is Max).

It's funny how I have gone from being completely career focused and not interested in having a baby to now being totally in love with this baby! I guess wait until the crying and shitty nappies start and then see how much love I feel!!

OP posts:

Jacksmybaby · 01/07/2010 14:31

Awww, that's so cute .

(p.s. that wasn't meant to sound patronising btw!)

Original poster

emmyloo2 · 01/07/2010 14:34

Thanks Jacksmybaby - not patronising at all!

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RobynLou · 01/07/2010 14:40

the crying and the nappies might not make a difference at all, I remember spending hours staring at DD marvelling at how amazing she was, and willing her to wake up because I missed her so much when she was asleep, I was actually sad when she slept through because I missed her
I loved changing her nappies and cleaning her little bum (I still adore watching her little naked toddler bum run around the house ), and her poo smelt like digestive biscuits! and when she cried and I made it all better now that was the best feeling in the world.

I found it harder around 9m tbh (when she stopped sleeping through!), the early tiny baby days were dreamy.

GavisconGirl · 01/07/2010 14:56

I've felt the same thing - I feel like I know it already, its movements and hiccups and stretches. It's scary how much I love the baby and I am terrified already of something bad happening to it.

lolabanola · 01/07/2010 15:24

Yep, I love her already! I'm 27 weeks and love to feel her kicking and moving around, when I talk to her and rub my stomach she always stops, I like to think that I'm soothing her back to sleep (hey might not be true but It makes me feel good). I just wish she would hurry up because I can't wait to meet her. Bought a new camera today to make sure I can take plenty of pics when she finally arrives. My grandmother summed it up perfectly - There is only one beautiful baby in the world and every mother has it!

Original poster

emmyloo2 · 01/07/2010 15:28

Love it Gavsicon Girl and Lolabanola!

We have already created a little photo album for the scans. My Dad says the baby is going to have a full photo album before it's even born.

I think it's one of those things you don't realise until you get pregnant and then suddenly you are like.....oh right, THAT'S what everyone is talking about.

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sedgiebaby · 01/07/2010 15:34

oh yes! The second scan I learned little one was a girl, and we got great views of her face, and a fantastic scan pic of her profile and I can't stop thinking about her and looking at her picture. I was quite worried early on about bonding (not being the 'maternal type' either) but no longer!

thedogwalker · 01/07/2010 15:43

I'm 37 years old and was always the career type. Then got married last year and got pregnant not long after.

I am now 33 +4 and I agree with Lolabanola, in that I cannot wait to meet my little boy. I've known since an 18 week scan, what sex he was and he has been named ever since, so he already feels so much as part of the family. Love him more each day.

All I can say is that there are going to be a lot of loved babies out there and doesn't it just feel great

Ryuk · 01/07/2010 15:50

I felt quite loved up about the whole experience from the day we had the BFP (even a bit before that, in a tentative kind of way, as I 'felt' pregnant, if that makes sense?). But there was a strange moment at a friend's house, when everyone in the room had gone into the garden either for a smoke, or to continue a conversation with the smokers, and I just stayed on the sofa on my own, which then turned into a feeling of being on 'our' own. I realised at that point that that was the first time I'd actually felt alone with the baby, and it was the most wonderful feeling ever. It was only about five weeks old so couldn't hear me, but I talked to it for a bit anyway.

vix206 · 01/07/2010 16:35

I have been totally in love with my little boy since the 12 week scan, I just assumed it was totally normal!

Klaw · 01/07/2010 16:39

not ridiculous at all! You're a mammal and mammals have hormones to ensure that reproduction works and that once born our offsrping are taken care off. Don't mess with the hormones, they ROCK!

I loved both my babies from implantation

Original poster

emmyloo2 · 01/07/2010 17:34

Vix206 - perhaps it is normal but I am not sure every woman would feel such a connection. Maybe they do....I just didn't realise I would be so besotted!!!

OP posts:

WorrisomeHeart · 01/07/2010 20:23

Oh I can completely agree - I was so looking forward to getting home from work yesterday to spend some quality time with the baby (am 25 weeks) as I'd been out for the past few nights and not able to focus on him! Just wanted to reconnect with my boy, and it was lovely! I tell him frequently how much we love him and can't wait to meet him.

Ah so soppy!

ciaobella19 · 01/07/2010 21:27

aww that was all so lovely to read i love my little baba more than anything im 24 weeks and have not found out the sex either but it doesnt matter , at first i was worried i wouldnt bond properly with the baby not knowing , but its ok xx

Esme01 · 01/07/2010 22:48

yes- I did love my first so very dearly when I was pregnant. It was an idyllic time.
.........what I am about to say is not meant to be negative in any way but.........I had a 40 hour labour with contractions every 10 mins from the beginning. I was sick with most contractions and couldnt lie down for the whole time (back to back and very painful). All went well in the end. I delivered fine and it is not what I would call traumatic but I really really did not care for the baby once he was born. I just did not feel any love for him (thats the negative bit over and done with).....

The best thing someone said to me was that they didnt love their baby when it was born. It was said in a very matter of fact way. No issue, just life. After the horrible labour it stopped me feeling guilty, thinking I was a bad mother, getting any kind of depression. I could see good reason why I didn't bond so I could just sit back, recover from bad labour and let the love grow.

I had a friend who was told they should feel instant love/bonding with the baby. She expected the rose tinted spectacles, had a bad labour and went into bad depression when she felt nothing for the baby.

Lia1977 · 01/07/2010 23:03

Im 27 weeks and Im also TOTALLY in love with my baby but im worried that my husband isnt. He was the one pushing for us to have a baby and now that im pregnant he doesnt seem very interested. The first time I asked him to touch my bump so he could feel the baby moving, he said it was late and that we should leave the baby alone and then went to sleep. Since then he felt the baby move twice but NEVER takes the initiative for it. I always ask him to place his hand on my bump. Many weeks ago, I asked him for a list of his 10 favourite names: Im still waiting and baby is no name baby. The few clothes we've bought for the baby it's because i made a scene (crying, sobbing, etc). We've looked at prams ONCE and he said that the one I had chosen was too expensive but never suggested any other alternative, so baby has no pram. He never went through the pregnancy book notes, never read reports of scans, never went on internet searching for anything re: babies and he says that it's my job to tell him what's going on. I feel so sad... Long post, apologies.

lou19 · 01/07/2010 23:22

I've been feeling totally overwhelmed with this loving feeling actually...wasn't prepared for it at all!I am trying to enjoy it, but it also makes me very anxious about all the bad things out there, the big bad world with all its dangers, and I just wish I could hide under a glass bell with my baby sometimes...does anyone else feel irrationally anxious that something bad might/will happen? for me, it might have something to do with losing a young friend recently, but maybe other mums-to-be feel like that?

lou19 · 01/07/2010 23:26

Lia1977, so sorry to hear about you feeling unsupported. I should come up with something better, but all I can say is it's not fair
Although it is true that for guys it sinks in a bit later...but that should be no excuse! Have you tried talking to him in a calm and open way about how much this is upsetting you? If that doesn't work, you can always try hitting him on the head with a frying pan or making him sleep in the bath ;)

Ozziegirly · 02/07/2010 01:38

I have to say, before I was pregnant, I was one of these awful people who assumed that if you lost a baby during pregnancy, it would be bad, sure, but as you haven't even met the baby surely it couldn't be that bad?

I now know how completely and totally wrong I was. I absolutely love this little foetus as well, and have felt so attached, protective and loving basically since finding out - but even more so after each scan.

Lia I'm sorry you feel unsupported. Do you think that your DH is actually a bit scared at getting too excited and attached? I know mine was at first - he said he was so scared of loving the baby too much and then us losing it, that it was easier just not to think about names and what life would be like.

Alternatively, I know a lot of men find it difficult to engage before there is an actual baby there as it all seems rather abstract to them. This doesn't mean they won't be a wonderful father though.

And finally, even though DH is very excited and involved, he has a very small attention span for looking at prams and cots and things. He does like looking at toys! But I had to draw up a shortlist of prams and he just wanted to know all the boring information and how it worked, while I focussed on how cosy it looked. He has been completely uninterested in clothes as well.

TheBride · 02/07/2010 01:57

Agree with Ozziegirly- maybe there are exceptions but men are just not interested in "the stuff". Mine only got excited about the car seat and that was only because he liked the "engineering concept" of the Isofix base, the lights etc. Everything else-clothes, furniture, cot, bedding = care factor zero.

Also DH not that interested in feeling the movement- I think we forget that it does feel much more pronounced to us than it does to them.

DH talks about "when the baby is here" so I know he's excited but I think he finds it harder to relate that baby to the unborn child I'm carrying, IYSWIM.

RobynLou · 02/07/2010 09:55

My DH wasn't really interested at all when I was pg, not uncaring, just not as excited as me, didn't research anything, came along to the antenatal classes, but it all seemed very theoretical to him. Our DD's nearly 3 now and from the moment she was born he's been a completely doting dad, he's more calm and patient with her than I am, will spend hours pretending to be thomas engines or dinosaurs, puts her to bed most nights etc etc. I think it often takes men longer, they can't feel the baby growing inside them.

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