Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Am I kidding Myself?! - Question to all Mums out there!

35 replies

lolabanola · 30/06/2010 13:24

Hi,

After some advice from Mums out there that have experienced the first few months of having a new born baby!

I have been looking into doing a short Open University writing course, the course starts in September ( my baby is due on the 27th of September) and lasts until december. The work is completely done from from home and it supposed to take up 10 hours a week. Am I completely kidding myself that I will be able to cope with studying and looking after a newborn? Will I just be far too tired to do both or is there a chance that I may just be able to cope? Don't know if I'm under estimating the work involved in having a newborn! During these 3 months I will have a lot of support from my family.

Many Thanks in Advance!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Flossbert · 30/06/2010 13:31

IMHO you are kidding yourself. Even with support, i expect you'll barely have the time or energy to wipe your arse. I've been able to read a book for probably a total of 1 hour since my daughter was born n4 months ago, Depends how driven you are though, I guess.....

Lexilicious · 30/06/2010 13:31

It's not quite the same, but I read a book about every three days in the first few weeks - mainly while feeding the baby.

Sounds like you may be well set up with family help, just make sure they understand that the help you need is not holding the baby while you clean the house, make tea for your guests and lug the shopping home, but cleaning the house etc etc while you bond with your baby and keep your brain cells stimulated with your OU course. You should probably also convert 10 hours a week to about 20 when in the fog of newborn-scrunchie-loveliness.

I don't subscribe to 'baby brain' concept but I do think that all those hormones may do some funny things to your concentration span and short term memory. It's not the tiredness that will do it, it's the not being able to put your finger on the ... the... [help me out here] ... um ... the... oh yes, 'word', that's it! 'Word' was the word I was looking for. (Truly, can be that ridiculous. My friend asked her DH to make her a supermarket one day. He knew she actually meant 'cup of tea'.)

cathcat · 30/06/2010 13:32

I think 10 hours a week is manageable. Especially if you have plenty support and don't get hung up about housework, ironing and things being perfect.
Of course you don't know what type of labour and delivery you are going to have and you will probably need a couple of weeks off when the baby is newborn. But you should be able to catch up in other weeks.
I presume it is creative writing - you may feel sleep deprived which may not aid creativity!
But on the whole not impossible, so long as you are committed to it. Good luck!

tutusare4 · 30/06/2010 13:33

If you have a really placid baby, you might be in with a fighting chance, but sadly, there are no guarantees! (I've had 3 demanding screamers so far)

If I were you, I would probably look into starting a course when the baby's a bit older, you are feeling more human, and you can give it your all.
Good luck

cyteen · 30/06/2010 13:38

It's certainly not impossible, but I found that during the last few months weeks of pregnancy and at least the first 6 months of DS's life, I just wasn't interested in much other than immersing myself in the strange new world of parenthood. Not that I didn't read, or watch films or whatever, but it was all as and when I felt like it, and dropped when the whim ran out. I wanted to be free to enjoy my new baby without any other commitments hanging over me.

You won't know how you'll feel until you get there, so you might as well go for it. You might find the experience drives you to want to write more. And remember not to beat yourself up if the course doesn't work out - you will likely get some good experiences from it regardless of whether you complete.

PinkElephant73 · 30/06/2010 13:39

I would go for it.

My friend started a Masters course in European literature 2 months before she gave birth to DC1. She was reading her course texts on the post natal ward (not much else to do!)

She completed the Masters in one year (ie fulltime) although somehow she wangled funding for a day nursery place 2 days perweek when DC was 6 months old.

She then went on to do a PhD whilst having 3 more DCs.

I did a 6 week freelance market research project when DS1 was about 6 months old and it was absolutely fine, I just worked during naptimes.

If its your first child, and you can get him/her into a routine then you could have up to 4 hours a day while they are asleep to be getting on with a "project" for yourself. If you are used to using your brain for work, maternity leave may drive you mad if you dont have something to keep you occupied!

Original poster

lolabanola · 30/06/2010 13:40

Think I may be kidding myself! Thanks for the replies ladies!

OP posts:

TheCrackFox · 30/06/2010 13:41

It really depends on the baby - DS1 was a screamer and need held all day so I was lucky to get showered.

DS2, on the other hand, was very placid but TBH I didn't really fancy doing anything too demanding intellectually for the first couple of months as I was enjoying him so much. IYSWIM. Also, his birth had been quite difficult so I needed that time to feel physically better.

cyteen · 30/06/2010 13:44

Ah, sorry, just realised that you haven't actually signed up for the course yet - I misread your OP slightly. In that case I would probably leave it a while and maybe start when the baby is here. But that's just me. I'm not one of those people who gets bored on maternity leave

nunnie · 30/06/2010 13:45

I have been doing an OU course for 6 years, mine start in feb and go through to October, then a break over winter. I had my DD June 2007 smack in the middle of one of my years, and went on to finish all my assignments on time and pass my exam. This baby is due in Ocotber and my final exam is a week before he is due. If I fail, or don't make the exam my resit or deferral will be in April.

It is possible, yes, but it's not easy.

MightyAphrodite · 30/06/2010 13:46

I started an OU Master's shortly before falling pg with DC3, and actually finished off an assignment on the maternity ward. Now have 4 DC and am just finishing the final module. I've written assignments with baby on breast and DD curled up asleep on my feet. It can be done, but since yours is a short course, and this is your first baby (takes more adjusting to than a third) I'd probably think about waiting for a later start date. Do you know exactly what those 10 hours a week involve?

nunnie · 30/06/2010 13:52

I will say, if I didn't have to finish my course in 6 years to get a qualifying degree, I would have deferred my 2007 course till the following year for my own sanity.

The OU are very good, and you can get extra support from your tutor and they did offer me a home visit after DD was born, which turned out to be very useful.

Original poster

lolabanola · 30/06/2010 13:56

This is the course that I really want to do, this one is through Oxford - onlinecourses.conted.ox.ac.uk/coursequeries.php?id=O10P359CRV

It doesn't sound too taxing as the final assessment is only a 1000 essay. I ideally want to start my pHD but wont be doing that for a few more years, I just didn't want my brain going stale!

MightyAphrodite - I'm very impressed with your will power!!

OP posts:

Tootingbec · 30/06/2010 14:01

Ummmmmm, depends how motivated you are to be honest. You do have time to read and watch TV but this normally involves having a baby stuck on your tit.

If you know that you are really good at motivating yourself to do the work when you have help with the baby then go for it, but in all honesty, I would let yourself be immersed in the baby for the first 2 months and not have to worry about deadlines and assignments.

After the first 8 weeks or so, things tend to settle down a bit and might be a better time to start studying again....

SagacityNell · 30/06/2010 14:03

I wouldn't have managed it but i did do a distance learning course when DS1 was around 4 months for a year.

5DollarShake · 30/06/2010 14:07

I would probably caution against it as well, if you haven't actually signed up for it.

It really depends on how demanding your baby is, how much you 'take' to motherhood, how much you value your sleep (your nights may well be hideous, in which case you'll want to rest in the day when baby sleeps), and how much you want to prioritise studying above all else (housework, errands, sleeping) when the baby sleeps.

I know it would have been the last thing on my mind with a newborn!

angelene · 30/06/2010 14:10

Is this your first OU course? If so, I would defer for a while. I think it would be really hard to get to grips with a new discipline and way of working, at the same time as trying to get to grips with being a mother.

The other thing is that having a new baby is stressful enough as it is - adding more stress on about deadlines and word counts and reading lists etc might well be difficult - at a time when you're bound to be emotionally vulnerable.

Good luck with what choice you make, and good luck with your new baby

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 30/06/2010 14:15

I'm doing the Oxford Romanisation of Britain course (and DH is doing Getting Started in Creative Writing) starting in September, lola, (but baby not due until late Feb so I should be OK). I have been considering doing another one in January on the basis that I could get most of the way through the course before DC3 arrives, and then could just fudge it a bit towards the end. I would be twitchy about a whole course coinciding with a baby's first few couple of months, though -- you can do it if you have to, but I think it would turn into a chore rather than a pleasure.

They'll probably be running that course again in January, so in your place I'd probably wait and see how your baby was doing and whether he/she was getting into much of a routine and then look at booking for then.

pebblejones · 30/06/2010 14:16

As a first time Mum to a 12 week old, I think that you are kidding yourself, sorry. Also IMO I would rather enjoy my newborn, getting to know him and learning how to be a Mum in these first few weeks and months. Having said that this course has a September start date, if you really, really want to do it, then go for it, you will just have to make the time.
Pebble

Original poster

lolabanola · 30/06/2010 14:23

Thanks for all of the advice, I think I might email them and see if they have a course starting in January.

OP posts:

Positivity · 30/06/2010 14:32

I started my first OU course two weeks before DS1 was born, and managed to get a distinction at the end of the course! I carried on studying for my degree over the next few years (including taking one final exam two weeks before DS2 was due) and now six years later I have a 2:1 and two lovely boys! Of course it's not easy, and in my case I had no help whatsoever from anyone except DH who also has a v.demanding job. If it's what you really want to do, then go for it. The OU is really supportive and you'll be fine.

SJisontheway · 30/06/2010 14:33

Like others have said it will depend on the baby, but I think 10 hours should be fine unless you have a particularly collicky baby. I will be back studying in Sept when DC3 is 10 weeks old. Have managed to balance things so far although it does take a bit of discipline and support (which I am lucky enough to have also). Good luck

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 30/06/2010 14:34

I know that Getting Started in Creative Writing they ran with an April start and now are running again with a September start, so my suspicion is that the popular courses (of which I'd expect this to be one) end up being run termly. But, yes, emailing to check is sensible.

SeoMum · 30/06/2010 16:36

Depends on the baby and your support two of my friends finished a degree after having their babies, said they were very productive as they knew they had very little time till the baby woke up.
Finishing off a degree is different to starting something new though and it depends on the level you are working towards.

If you have support cleaning and your DP can help you may have a fighting chance but I think you will find it really hard- my hubby epects me to continue working for our business straight after the baby is born but I don't think that will happen!!

oldmum42 · 30/06/2010 17:04

It's doable. 10 hrs a week is not a huge workload, but unless you have "protected time" away from the baby, expect your 10hrs a week to take longer than that - you will always be breaking off to feed/change etc.

It can be done, I did a degree doing a mixture of full and part-time study while having 3 ds, one in 1st year, one in 2nd year and one in 4th year of my studies - and I wasn't the only one doing it, there were maybe 20 mums with new babies at the University Nursery!

So GOOD LUCK with your course.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread