calling midwives/sonographers. desperately need advice

[breakaway]

hi, i am in a stress about my dates of my recent pregnancy, can anyone who knows help me please.
i got pregnant last august with an edd of 1st may, ihad scans at 6, 8, 10, 14 weeks and the usual scans, all matched the edd.
my problem is this. i very stupidly had one night stand as husband had left me. this happened on he 18th july 09. i am now terrified that the baby was conceived then, i had a period on the 25th july, which is why i didnt think about it back then.
would the scans have showed a date difference. baby was born on edd.
any advice gratefully recieved, am living on my nerves everyday

I'm not qualified so feel free to wait for someone who is. However, to try to put your mind at rest, if you conceived on the 18th of July and have a 28 day cycle, the 40 weeks would have been calculated from the 4th of July and your EDD would have been the 9th of April. I think there is no chance that a baby could have held on for an extra 4 weeks after it would have been due. And it would have been ginormous!

when the baby was born did s/he look like a term baby - if s/he was really 4 weeks late the baby would have looked "post-due".

with an EDD on 1st may - you would have got pregnant during August - ie roughly 2 weeks after period on 25th July.

bear in mind that scans at 6 and 8 weeks are extremely accurate - to the nearest couple of days.

If you did conceive on 18th July and the period on 25th july wasn't a real one then the babies EDD would have been at the start of april. although you still could have given birth on 1st may its almost impossible because the early scans are so accuruate.

hi thanks for your reassurances, i'm worried that i may have had late ovulation and what i had was implantation bleed, would that make it look on scan the same as afetus conceived in august?
baby was 7lb 3oz and ive had 4 biggish babies, she also still has blue eyes at 4 weeks, we all have brown.
she looked like term baby, midwife said placenta was small. so worried still

I doubt very much that your scans (and you had a lot of them) would ALL be wrong about the EDD. They would need to have been out by 4 weeks and I would suggest that this is impossible. If your 6 week scan was really a 10 week scan (i.e. if you'd conceived in July) and so on, then things really would look very different. Scans aren't 100% accurate although to be 4 weeks out repeatedly and at such an early stage is,... errrr,... I want to say impossible, but I am sure someone else will come on here with a story where they were, but IME it is impossible. All that said, there is only 1 way for you to DEFINATELY tell the paternity of your DC, but you know this already.

thanks again for reassuring me and being non judgemental, i really hate myself for what i did. i keep reading how sperm can live for 6 days then implantation can take 6-10 days thats why im worried that it crept into august.
also this is tmi but sex finished anally so what are the chances of that?
baby does look like us except for blue eyes.
gp said could be a recessive gene, not convinced.

Re the blue eyes, what colour are your eyes? Your mums/dads/siblings and the same for your partner. I have green eyes, my DH has brown. Our DS2 has grey/blue eyes but so has my dad and DH's sister.

And what was your period on 25th like? Implantation bleeding is really very light in comparison to a normal period, even if it lasts 5 days like mine did.

my mum and dad have brown, brother has green, partner has green, i am brown my brother has green. cant really remember think it was shorter than normal.

A 6 week scan is accurate to a couple of days. So if they said fetus was 6 weeks gestation then it was. Seems very unlikey that baby will be from the one night stand. I would stop worrying and enjoy the new baby.

thanks i have tried so hard to put it out of my mind but still keep fretting.

Also don't babies often have blue eyes for a while after birth? They may still change colour.

I think looking at your dates etc that you're being a bit paranoid. Does your h know about your fling?

Ds's eyes didn't go properly hazel brown (like mine) for quite a while....

Just wanted to let you know that my mum has blue eyes despite her parents and her three brothers all having brown eyes. Mum is definitely her fathers child - she has a freckle in her eye in the exactly the same position as her dad.

I may be wrong but I don't think sperm can travel from your anus for you to get pregnant, but I'm no expert sorry.

As for eyes I believe they can change colour.

My DD has deep blue eyes and neither me nor DH have blue eyes, so I wouldn't be too concerned about eye colour.

4 weeks does seem a long time for dates to be out by ime.

Just enjoy your baby.

thanks everyone, i hope you are all right. she was just so different in every way. all my kids are similar but different iyswim.
h doesnt know i would be terrified too tell him. guess ill just wait and see. i have learnt some lessons from this.

Dont worry about the blue eyes, (on a very basic level) we all have 2 genes for eye colour, brown is the 'strong' gene and blue is the recessive or 'weak' gene so if you carry a brown gene and a blue gene you will have brown eyes but you can pass the blue gene onto any children you have. Your husband must also be a blue/brown genotype so you have both passed the blue gene on producing a blue eyed child.
Hope that makes sense?

And anyway 4 weeks is still early babies can take months to get their final eye colour so she may end up with brown eyes.

I really think you don't need to worry, although that's easy for me to say. The recessive blue has come through - if they even stay blue of course.

Also, if your period was on 25th July, then your previous period, assuming a 28 day cycle would have been 27th June, with ov on day 14 being 10th July - you had sex 8 days after that so vvvvvvv unlikely to be pg from that cycle unless you ovd very late. LMP of 27th June would have give you a due date of 3rd April - even earlier than the 9th April another poster has pointed out would have been very unlikely too. What date was she actually born on?

Have you got someone to talk this through with - your doctor or midwife/health visitor?

sorry, i see baby was born on edd. So for baby to be other man's, she would have had to be 3-4 weeks late. I don't think so - it would have been very obvious that she was very very late/overcooked.

Look here at signs of overdue vs preemie vs on time babies.

www.birth.com.au/Induction-for-being-overdue/Overdue-babies

breakaway i just wanted to add that my older sister, db1 and myself all have blonde hair, blue eyes and fair skin. my parents both have brown hair and brown eyes with fair skin. then along came db2 who has brown hair, brown eyes and olive skin yes olive skin. he permanently has a tan and i am very . my mum and dad went on to have db3 who has fair skin, blonde hair and blue eyes and finally had my baby sister who again has olive skin (), brown hair and blue eyes. we all have the same mum and dad just 2 of my siblings have olive skin (again )

genes are funny things and just because you, the baby's dad or either set of your parents dont have blue eyes doesnt mean your children cant

sorry i meant my baby sister has olive skin, brown hair and brown eyes

Re the blue eyes - even if the baby ends up with blue eyes (but they may well change colour, my 3 brothers and sisters and I all started with blue, we now have green (2 of us), grey and blue respectively), that is fine...

Basically, blue (and green) eyes are recessive genetically.

That means that if a person has genes for both blue/green and brown eye colour, their eyes will be brown because the brown is dominant over the blue/green. They will however be carrying a blue/green gene and can pass this on to children.

[Some people with brown eyes will of course be carrying two brown genes, so will have no blue/green to pass on.]

Because blue/green is recessive, for someone to actually have blue or green eyes, they must have two blue/green genes and no brown, as the brown would dominate.

As a result, two brown eyed parents can have a blue eyed child, because they may both be carrying and have passed on the blue/green gene. (Hence ant3nna's mum!)

However, two blue/green eyed parents cannot have a brown eyed child - the parents have no brown gene to pass on.

You have brown eyes and your partner has green, right? Thus you could have a brown eyed child (because you would have passed on your brown gene, which is dominant) or a blue/green eyed child (becasue you are carrying a blue/green gene) and you partner can only pass on blue/green (becasue he carries no brown).

If it is the fact that the baby has blue eyes rather than green that you are worried about, really don't worry as babies' eyes often change colour. My youngest brother had blue eyes up to the age of about 3 and now (aged 15) his eyes are properly green, like mine.

Also eyes can change colour later, 6 months still normal, so don't read anything into a the blue eyes and as others pointed out blue eyes are recessive - if you both had blue eyes and the babies were brown that would be a sign!

My DS2 is 6.5 weeks and I am seeing signs now that maybe eyes will be brown, no hint of this at 4 weeks.

re: big babies, even more reason why this baby wasn't 4 weeks late...

DD1 didn't change from blue eyes to funny murky green until she was nearly 2.

DS' eyes continued changing colour until he was over a year. They looked dark brown at birth and are now a hazel-green.

I'm probably being really dim...did I read that sex finished anally?...If he shot his load up there and not up your fanjo, I would say that chances of you getting pregnant at all in this way, are pretty remote. Again, maybe I didn't read it right? (I can't talk, my DH got me pregnant while using a condom, so my sex ed obviously needs work)

when you say it finished anally presumably you meant it started the other way, in which case you could only have got pregnant if sperm leaked out before he came. based on everything you said seems pretty impossible that he is the baby's father.