Is it normal not to feel excited?

[ernie1981]

Is anyone else feeling like this??
I'm nearly 15 weeks and have been suffering a lot with nausea and sickness since 6 weeks. Now headaches are adding to the mix, and its all just getting me down...
The thing is, I was really happy when I found out I was pg, but now I just feel fed up. Everyone keeps saying "you must be so excited" and I smile and agree but to be honest I'm not. It's not really how I expected it to be, but I'm the first of my friends to have a baby so I don't have anyone to talk to who's been through it.
Would love to hear from anyone that is going through the same thing so I know I'm not alone!

When I told people I was pregnant everyone said 'oooh isn't it wonderful, you'll love every minute of it' - and to be honest, I don't get what there is to love about being pregnant! For me it's an avoidable means to an end, but I can't say that I've enjoyed the whole thing much, despite the fact that I've any major ailments or complications. I can't wait for the baby to arrive!!

HI Ernie,
I am 7 weeks gone.. and I have tried for 3 years. SO I was over the moon as you can imagine. 3 weeks post pregnancy test I am alreay fed up!

Feel ill. Everything stinks (litterally)
Everything makes me want to vomit.
Every twinge makes me want to run crying to the doctor!

the idea of nearly a year of this scares the hell out of me! and because I am still so early... the idea of something happening and not being able to have it scares the hell out of me!

No pleasing pregnant woman I think!

I totally sympathise. I've been feeling awful and it's made me quite depressed at times. Really hoping that I start feeling better in a few weeks, but pregnancy certainly isn't all fun for many people! I'm so jealous of those women who swan through pregnancy with hardly an issue.

I just can't relax and believe that everything will be okay so I can't get excited, it's like a protection. I am 16 weeks and I never thought I would be able to have a baby. I am basically ignoring the fact I am pregnant, I have told people but that's it. Haven't bought a thing or even thought about what we will need. I still keep waiting for everything to go wrong.

I am hoping that at some point this will change or the poor baby will be born to a very shocked and unprepared mother.

I've only just realised that wanting to get pregnant & have a baby are very different than actually experiencing it. I'm 12 weeks and still wake up every day and say OMG about 10 times!

Hopefully we'll start feeling better soon,my friend is 19 weeks and was sick & lots of headaches until 17 weeks.

Still childbirth to look forward to

Lol. I was getting freaked out at the possibilities the other day - don't read about forceps, stitches and EMCSs when tired and emotional!

I too am the same, have no excitement what so ever 7 weeks and dreading telling anyone - I Feel ill and totally jealous of all those happy excited mums to be - This is my 2nd and I dont remember feeling like this before, maybe the odd day - I feel so bad as I wanted this so much and now I just feel depressed, glad to know I am not alone!

thanks everyone, feel a bit better knowing i'm not alone!

Basically the first 18 weeks and the last 18 weeks of pregnancy are crap

I think in the early stages its easy to "forget" you are pregnant as there is nothing visable or physical to remind you (with the exception of nausea etc, obviously but that is hardly a nice reminder)

Once you get into going to antenatal appointments and scans and hearing heartbeat and then your body physically changes and you can feel baby there can be a sort of a "WOW" moment. (My WOW moments never lasted long having said that..lol...hence my first statement!)

Some people just do not like pregnancy and as someone mentioned above see it as a means to an end. Me being one of them (am 34 weeks pregnant with DC3 and damn miserable with it) Dont beat yourself up about it or worry that there is something wrong with you. There isnt.

Hi, 33wks with my first.

I got really p*ed off the other day because my dad said 'its funny how excited you're getting about it all' and I just thought FFS you don't know me at all do you?!!
I'm not excited and pregnancy sucks.

Have forced myself to go into Mothercare/Babies R Us etc. but up until this weekend ended up leaving with nothing and going to the car and balling my eyes out.

However feel so guilty as I know I should be grateful that I'm pregnant, especially as it was planned.

So this weekend, did cot shopping and am hoping that once I've set that up, I'll start to get into it a bit more.

I get the impression that actually lots of people feel like this, but its just taboo to talk about it.
You are definately not alone.x.

Oh my gosh, I'm totally with you on this one.

I can't wait to meet my LO, but seriously pregnancy sucks. I hate it, I'm tired all the time and I have mood swings and am in general not a happy camper.

I know I'm so so lucky to be pregnant as there are so many women who struggle to even get into this state.

I think as another poster says, there are those that take to pregnancy like a duck to water and others who just sort of put up with it.

I think you are normal. Imagine if you spent the whole nine months as excited as you were when you got the BFP! Can't happen. If it makes you feel better then soon you should (maybe probably hopefully) be in the 'nice middle bit'.

I felt sick as a dog from 8 weeks to 16 weeks with DS then it got better. The last bit (2 months!) was shit as well.

I'm now 16 weeks with planned baby no2 and the nausea and tiredness have left off, but I don't feel like skipping and singing all day! I really do want the baby but it's a long time to sustain a feeling of incredible excitement!

juliec26 what are you worried about telling?

I had issues with work etc, and felt so much better once the secret was out (I only told at 15 weeks because I got really fat).

My friends were underwhelmed, second baby, meh (have you seen that episode of SCRUBS? .

hi nagoo - worried to tell as have no excitment what so ever - I so want to be one of those mums to be on here that is over the moon - although planed was excited for all of 2 days and then it passed and left me with dread, fear and numbness, hope it will pass soon

It is really hard with my lovely husband looking at every website going oohing and ahhing over every gadget and cot and to be honest since week 5 I've felt completely taken over by the vomiting, nausea, headaches and cramps that it rather obliterates your excitement. I am hoping it will come back as things ease up - I'm 14 weeks now and still vomiting daily and have thumping headaches - and I do look forward to having the bub and not having to struggle through work each day feeling like rubbish!!

I don't think I was ever excited about being pg. I didn't have morning sickness, everything went pretty straightforwardly (apart from going 2 weeks overdue and needing to be induced) - but I wasn't excited. I didn't bloom; I didn't enjoy being pregnant at all (didn't hate it either) and mostly was worried I'd made the right decision to have a baby at all.

Then when he was born - still no excitement - no "rush of love" - just a really calm, wonderful feeling of "here you are and everything's all right". Perhaps I just don't have the endorphins for it

I had birth fear as well - but hypnobirthing saw that off (can't recommend it highly enough)

I'm 12 weeks with first baby, and still very much in shock about the whole thing. Baby is very much wanted, but we really hadn't expected the IVF to work first time, so were more stunned and shocked than elated when we got the BFP! That combined with the usual worries about what can go wrong means I've been feeling more anxious than excited. I was looking at a picture in a book in Waterstones yesterday, with a sketch of a 12-week baby labelled "Actual Size"- totally freaked me out thinking that I have something like that inside of me!!

I'm glad there are other people feeling like this! We'd been TTC for quite a while so we we're over the moon to get a BFP! But I'm having a rubbish time!

I'm now nearly 9 weeks and I just can't believe how awful I feel! I kind of expected to get sickness but I've had really bad nausea from about week 4, none stop. Not to mention really bad digestion, terrible painful wind and a generally very upset stomach. I'm depressed and I'm exhausted from it all. I nearly couldn't find the will to drag myself out of bed this morning. I couldn't face another day of misery.

This has pretty much put me off even looking at baby things. I'm hoping I'll be able to enjoy it all during the 'good' weeks that I'm promised will arrive soon.

People say things like, 'doesn't the fact your having a baby make all the illness ok?' which just makes me want to scream because how does that make any difference to how you feel on a day to day basis?! It's impossible to just say, 'Oh yeah! Ok I'll just stop feeling crap then!' Even a lot of my friends with kids don't understand because they had really easy pregnancies. I think they assume I'm a bit of a light weight or something. Ugh I'm at my wit's end!

I feel a bit ashamed to not be excited. I am 8 weeks and going it alone. I find the idea of growing something inside me a bit... freaky, actually, but I'm assured that changes. I hope so.

I also feel so sick - which with a huge phobia of vomiting has made the last 3 weeks really hard. I'm actually quite depressed. And haven't left the house for a week.

Well, that all makes me sound ungrateful. I'm not at all, but I think I'm in some kind of shock still. I never expected to have a child.

Reading this thread has made me feel loads better, so thank you, ladies.

Ibizadreams- im with you with the fear of sicknes thing. Noone knows how hard this can be and you've done really well! cos loads of women with emetophobis dont have kids they so scared.

I felt crap with my first DC and was very nauseous which freaked me out. Luckily didnt throw up, but have to say since having my LO- now 3 am much better with the fear. The tummy bug my LO has caught/passed on seems to have cured me a bit! Good luck with the rest of yr pregnancy.

Re:OP i didnt feel excited at all. Whole pregnancy was v stressful as my partner had left, was alone and working fulltime. I was convinced til the end that I wouldnt be excited and just felt freaked out. But when I saw my baby- wow!!

My dp finds it hard to understand why I have no excitment, but then if I wasn't pregnant and I felt like this everyday I think i would of just stay in bed all day until I felt better - I felt like this till 20 weeks last time so the thought of another 13 weeks is enough to totally depress me and can't even have a glass of wine to cheer myself up, the smell of it makes me feel sick anyway! oh the joy

34 weeks pregnant with my second and I'm really fed up of it all now - I just want to have the baby and get on with my life. Some women seem to love pregnancy but I'm afraid I don't see it like that - it really is a means to an end!

Hi Ibizadreams I'm 8 weeks too! (Well nearly 9 now) Don't feel freaked out too much. I feel exactly the same and I've been praying to get pregnant for 2yrs now. I never in a million years could have imagined that I would feel so down and...well...numb about it all!

I always saw myself as someone who would absolutely love being pregnant and enjoy the feeling of a baby growing inside me. Which I really do think I will at some point. Even if it's fleeting! I just wish this nausea would bugger off so I could look at it clearly! Even photos of foetuses make me feel dodgy! I used to think they were beautiful!

julie26 I completely agree, if we weren't pregnant we'd be seriously thinking we had something dreadful! How on earth are you supposed to concentrate on anything positive when you're constantly trying to keep your lunch down!? I'm clapping the weight on too because I have to eat to stop myself from feeling sick and all I can eat is crappy food! I'm desperate to have a big healthy salad and a fruit salad but my stomach starts churning at the thought of it!

People tell me I ought to be so excited too, but i feel like other people around me have the luxury of being excited, if you know what I mean. They are not the ones doing it! Pregnancy is uncomfortable, and the truth is, I am so afraid that something will be wrong with the baby and worried about all the things that CAN go wrong, that I feel like i am holding my breath and anxious until it is all over and I can see for myself that everything is fine.

But, you feel guilty to not be encased in a pink bubble of bliss too! My only piece of advice to anyone really would be to chill, relax, and not get stressed about what you feel or the emotions you have. Just go with them.

I loved being pregnant the first time round and had a pretty easy time (until the birth). And I've wanted a second child for years.

But now I'm 13 and a half weeks, struggling through a nauseous, exhausted, headachey first trimester, and I'm really feeling down. I'm not excited at all about the baby.

I so guilty after wanting this so much and now...I wonder if I made a huge mistake