Is it normal not to feel excited?

[ernie1981]

Is anyone else feeling like this??
I'm nearly 15 weeks and have been suffering a lot with nausea and sickness since 6 weeks. Now headaches are adding to the mix, and its all just getting me down...
The thing is, I was really happy when I found out I was pg, but now I just feel fed up. Everyone keeps saying "you must be so excited" and I smile and agree but to be honest I'm not. It's not really how I expected it to be, but I'm the first of my friends to have a baby so I don't have anyone to talk to who's been through it.
Would love to hear from anyone that is going through the same thing so I know I'm not alone!

I sat at work today feeling so dreadful - i hate the fact I am such a misery and don't think how wonderful it all is, but the fact is the smell and taste of pretty much everything makes me feel sick - trying to find a drink that doesn't make me want to throw up is proving difficult - The worse thing is I can't seem to feel happy or think positive at all - this post is my only bit of hope as I know there are other people feeling how I do

I think "are you excited/you must be excited" is something that a lot of people say when they either haven't had a baby or have forgotten what it is like - will be pleased I am extending my family, will be relieved when I have got through this pg and birth with a healthy baby, but excited I am not. Not enjoying piling on the weight, nervous of a VBAC, daunted at the prospect of another newborn and responsibility of another life, and with a miscarriage fresh in my memory, I am more anxious and keen to get this stage over with. I am of course so happy that things are going well so far, and I am sure there are lots who would disagree with me, but "excited" is not a word I would use in pregnancy! So you are normal to me!!!

H4H i question my decision most minutes of most days - i think 2 time round is worse as you know what's to come, you know what to expect, how long sickness will last, birth, newborns the whole lot - my dd is 4 and everything is so easy and has only been that way for the last year to say she was a challenge was a understatement - My sister keeps telling me all will be fine and I am sure she is right - so hard to think positive when you feel so ill x

DomesticG0dess I could have written that post. Have had a MC inbetween DS1 and DS2 that I'm pg with. So for me I'm anxious to see the baby rather than feeling I can enjoy the pregnancy like everyone else seems to. I am v grateful to be pregnant again as I know how stressful it is, but I am also daunted by the prospect of those sleepless nights for a second time and what's to come.

Roll on 40ish weeks...!

Yup, totally normal. There were times when I've been alone and thought 'maybe I shouldn't have done this, perhaps it was all a huge mistake' etc. I kept imagining myself 6 months down the road with a screaming baby, DH never fancying me EVER again, hating life and generally cloaked in a fog of doom... Even though this pregnancy was planned. Because I just kept thinking; 'what if this baby hates me? what if it just cries and cries for me?' Pregnancy is so final. You can get out of everything else. If you get married to an arsehole, you can always get divorced. If you get into debt, you can get advice to get out of it. If you buy a dress in the wrong size, you can take it back to the shop. What the hell are you supposed to do with a baby, take it back to the hospital?!
But seriously, I was getting really worried about the whole thing and getting scared because I wasn't feeling anything for my baby as such. Then a couple of weeks ago, I started feeling a few fluttery movements. Baby started responding to my movements and I thought 'Awww...' Then I had my 20 week scan and it bowled me over. Baby looked like a baby, not just a rough estimation of a baby. They told me he was a boy. Then they looked at his heart, which takes ages. The sonographer was really taking her time, and I suddenly thought 'if you have a poorly heart, I'll give you mine. I don't even care. I'll make them do it'.
I just fell in love with that tiny, little helpless boy. I couldn't help it, I really couldn't
So give it a bit. It's hard to fall for something that doesn't really look that promising on the first scan, or that you can't feel nudging about, or even doesn't really make any sort of appearence (especially if it's your first; how are you supposed to know what to look for?) until about 5 months or so. Give yourselves a break xxx

Thanks JJ - feel like there is a bit of hope and might be able to go to bed and not cry with worry - this whole think has consumed every moment of my thought.. i look at my dd who is 4 and the love I have for her is the most amazing feeling ever, just hope it comes soon as have lost feeling for dp as well, just wanting to be left alone as I feel so horrid - seem to have no feeling for anything other than my dd - nothing makes me smile at mo, but the hope it will get better is keeping me going xx

I hate pregnancy and last time I felt like the biggest moaner in the world, i was even annoying myself at how much of a whinger I became. I hate feeling sick, nausea, & soreness in the early stages and the middle 'blooming' bit where everything is 'wonderful' bought me nothing but cramps, back ache, light headed spells and a general feeling of yuk still, and well don't start me on the final bit witht the soreness and the comments about u being the size of a whale etc etc and then there is labour all three days of it for me. This time I have been more relaxed, sick yes but I look at my little one and think it could be worse and bless him he comforts me and tbh u just get on with it more. I think u should accept you r not going to feel fab in yourself or the way u look for a little while but focus on the scans and the shopping (the exciting bits.) I don't know about your midwife but mine kept asking if I felt the enjoyment I got from things had gone away? They are very concerned with mking sure you are not depressed from my experience but I disagree that feeling like u want to sleep a lot rather than be having lots of sex, or feeling fed up when you r so sick you can't even look at food let alone eat it, is a sign of being depressed it is more to me part and parcel of being pregnant. I would still say mention it to the midwife if you are concerned with your feelings, although I think they will change it might help to talk about it. I hope you feel a bit better soon. U are definately not alone I remember my friends saying 'i love being pregnant' and me thinking either I'm weak or u are crazy lol.

I don't think you need to be depressed though to be one of these women who just don't enjoy pregnancy. It just isn't for everyone IMHO! I am pleased to be bringing a new life into the world but not enjoying the process of it (all the backache and the pelvic pain and slowing down because I can't do anything anymore etc).

The novelty wears off quite quickly for some women. Hard to enjoy it at the beginning because of the nausea, then even the middle bit I was exhausted and now near the end I'm struggling to get around because of the pain in my hips. Told MW today I can't wait for it to be over.

Can I just say - thank God there are others... Am 7 weeks, and feel really quite miserable. Think the exhaustion/ sickness is a big part, but sometimes wonder if I am actually depressed... Hope it gets better!