Fed up with being told pregnancy horror stories (warning contains horror stories)

[moonstorm]

Well not horror as such, but on anouncing my pregnancy, I've been told about how they lost a baby at 26 weeks, about other paople who had late miscarriages/ lost a young baby etc. etc. I am really fed up! I didn't think I would get throught the first trimester (bleeding) and now want to relax. I know nothing is certain until the baby is born, but I wish people would stop with the negative

Sorry! Rant over

what is tbh

oh? I can't possible see how anyone could have been offended by that post - tbh?!
Smug? Yeah, I am self satisfied thanks!
I thought Moonstorm needed some posive feedback after all the negative posts.
Isn't anyone allowed to say something positive, incase it offends somebody somewhere in the world anymore?
I thought that was what this original post by moonstorm was crying out for?
If I had of known the majority were going to reply by biteing everyone's head off, I would have saved my energy to carry on with the dusting!!!

I wonder if perhaps the reason people mentioning they have lost a baby is a way of saying "please don't talk to me about your pregnancy". My friend is in this position and finds it very, very hard to be around pregnant people. Never mind talking about pregnancy. I doubt people are trying to be nasty.

Congrats on your pregnancy, enjoy it

antoinette - I'd never thought of it that way and think you have a point.

I don't relay my horror stories to anyone whether they are pregnant or not, but I find it unbearable being around pregnant woman who are overwhelmingly happy and seem to expect waves of nothing but reflected happiness coming back at them, and nothing else.

TBH, I do deliver on it. I am smiling and lying and pretending and not being myself in those moments. If I WAS totally myself, and HONEST, I'd probably break down and open up about my misery... kinda glad I've not after reading this thread.

It isn't that I begrudge them their happiness - of course not! - but it's just horrendous and unbearable for me to be anywhere near them when they quite plainly are looking for only one kind of attention.

It's been an experience for me - this whole miserable painful unbearable stressful TTC lark - and one I'll certainly carry into a successful pregnancy (please let it happen!) with deep compassion, I hope.

Not just women TTC either: my DH often browses through my Facebook page because I leave it logged in. I discovered that he had taken it upon himself to 'Hide' my many friends who are either pg or just had a baby! He said he couldn't stand it anymore, and that their prattling on without thought for their huge audiences and how other people might feel felt like gross insensitivity to him. I haven't unhidden them - it's either that or stop using my own facebook page.

Wonder how they'd feel if they knew he'd done that!?

Common sense tells me to leave well alone as this looks like another of those pointlessly bitchy threads that I so hate but I am just gobsmacked that anyone could be offended by someone (del1) coming on and politely saying they had a good experience with their pregnancy? The post was totally in line with the original subject of this thread. I am also enjoying a fabulous pregnancy with very few symptoms and a great sense of excitement and wellbeing. If that's offensive to people then I don't know how they can live their life without constantly taking offense to everything around them!

I'm not smug about it, anymore than I am unsympathetic of people who have suffered terribly both in terms of health and actual loss. Several in my family very recently, and it is heartbreaking. We each have our own experiences, good and bad and we should be able to discuss them without being flamed for it!

Tonight, I decided to not listen to such stories or get too worried till I really have something to worry about... I was driving and stuck in traffic and suddenly it hit me that a mum has successfully given birth to all these people that are around me! over 76 millions of mum give birth every year successfully, why should it go wrong for us? Horror stories are one in millions and actually success stories are in overwhelming numbers! Did our mums have it better without google and too much info at hand? I asked my mum if she was worried for MC and she said she never even thought about it and she asked me why would I?? I asked myself, why do I worry about MC? Because I read people's MC stories on this site and in google all the time....

hi, I didn't read all above messages and posted my message to the original sender. After posting I read the posts above and wondered if my post is going to be misunderstood as a response to any of the other previous posts and please note that it is not. It was a independent thought after a day of being worried and a decision to be positive. I am not taking part in any of the above discussions. thanks

Oh I am worried people think I do this. Sometimes if I am chatting to someone and they say they are preg and are talking about scans or something I will add to the conversation "oh yes I remember having my scan at x and it was amazing". This leads to the "oh I didn't know you had any children?" question. And then I explain.

Just because somethings gone from this world doesn't make it gone from memories. If someone was buying a car and someone used to have a car they would chat about their experiences - not just sit and pretend they know nothing about cars.

Yesterday day at a new toddler group I am at with mindees someone mentions the Queen Mums being closed and we were chatting about it and I mentioned having my wee girl there, and they were asking about her. I like to talk about her sometimes.

Thanks Vix, I read over my post the next day, and tried to see what I had written that was so wrong? So glad you see where I was coming from!

I do have a horror story from my first pregnancy which I didn't mention - due to the original subject title.
I will never forget it, and sometimes sit and wonder 'what if'.

But that doesn't mean I begrudge anyone else happiness. I actually feel happy for other people that are smitten and over the moon with the most precious thing that will happen to them. It's not their fault some of us have had terrible losses.

Having to work with someone 8 hrs a day, 5 days a week, watching them grow and listening to them 'go on and on' about the baby is realy upsetting.

The job I do makes you gratefull for what you have, and to try and look on the bright side of things. Have had lots sad experiences, from work, and my personal life. It's no body elses fault if I am upset by them, so I won't take it out on them!
I think it is realy sad that we can't mention a loss, without fear of upsetting someone.
Or we can't metion being happy about a new life, without fear of upsetting someone.

I was realy annoyed at the comment by lunaticfringe, and wanted to start an argument on here. But decided it wasn't worth it.

If I am happy that my second and third pregnancy went well, and someone doesn't like it - well tough !!

Moonstorm - I will be joining you, by not posting a thread on this again, as it appears there are people that want to pick arguments.

And I can't be doing with raised blood pressure - not good for you!! Good luck everyone