I know I shouldn't say this but I just hate being pregnant.

[Bumperliouzzzzzz]

I hate it. I loathe every minute of this. I'm sure it is very wrong of me to say so but the experience makes me miserable and unable to cope with normal things.

I spent 3 months feeling sick all day and night. I haven't slept properly for one single night in over 3 months, despite the doctor giving me sleeping tablets.

I have done something to my nexk which is giving me a constant headache meaning I am having to mainline paracetamol. Have spent 40 quid on the osteopath and spent over a week trying to get through to the NHS physio department. Until then I will wake every night with a headache.

I am so tired I have been mean to 2.7 yo DD this morning as I was so pissed on that I had to get up at 7.15 with her after barely sleeping all night. My poor DH needed a lie-in after 3 months of having to do everything for me.

Although my sickness has gone I'm still really funny about food, and DH has to make my lunch every morning. I'm so tired I can barely be bothered to shower so am doing so about once every 3-4 days. I look like shit. I hate how pregnancy makes me feel, I hate how it turns me into a pathetic whinging idiot. I hate people thinking I'm not coping very well with it. I hate that I have had to spend money I can't afford on new clothes, which all look shit anyway.

Sometimes I am so tired after exerting myself I just can't move and lie down on the floor in the bedroom or bathroom.

We are going to have to move in the next 2-3 months as the landlord has put our flat on the market, but I won't be much help as I will be 6 months pg.

I'm not even coping with DD at the moment, how the fuck am I going to cope with a toddler and a baby. I am struggling with work as I am so tired I can barely concentrate, but have to put up with people telling me 'I read it was a myth woman have to eat for two when they are pregnant' or 'my wife was playing badminton right up until she gave birth'.

I don't even like it when the baby moves. It makes me feel sick. I know these are all really awful things to say. I feel I am failing as a mother because I don't enjoy this and am not very happy. I'm sure this isn't normal. I'm only 16 weeks. I'm not sure how I am going to manage for another 5 months. I just want to cry when I think about it.

Morning. Bumper, I think how you feel is actually quite common and does not mean you are failing at all. From experience, I felt sicker for longer during my second pregnancy and the exhaustion was crippling at times. With a small child to look after, there's precious little time to rest like you probably did during your first pregnancy. Raging hormones and exhaustion can make you feel very emotional.
The pressure of the move must be very stressful for you, but it could be a while before they sell the flat. Have you started to look for somewhere else yet? Perhaps if you did, it would help to make you feel more in control of your situation.
Any family around that can help by taking DD for a few hours so you can put your feet up? Or a sympathetic friend?

Hey there. I really, really sympathise with you and I know lots of others out there will too. People have really different experiences of pregnancy and I think those who breezed through it all glowing and energetic have no idea how miserable and soul-sucking it can be for others. ATM we are just making announcements (13+3) and every time someone congratulates me I have to hold myself back from asking WTF they think it's cause for celebration. NOT that the new DC is in any way unwanted, and not that I am not extremely grateful IN THEORY to be where I am etc etc, just that the reality is that I am exhausted, nauseous, bloated, spotty, irritable, weepy, achey and generally a complete wreck. So I know where you're coming from! Lots of love and sympathy to you. x

Bumper, lots of sympathy and hugs to you. I found my second pg much harder than the first. I used to find myself falling asleep on the sofa & then feel bad that ds1 would be left to entertain himself, I think he was a similar age to your dd at the time.

I agree with Knotty about finding someone who could look after her for a couple of hours, do you have family nearby? Is there anyone who could maybe do some cooking & freeze it for you so you can just heat it up when needed?

I used to find a film for ds1 to watch & we would snuggle up on the sofa so I could doze while he watched tv.

I'm sorry I don't know if you want practical advice or sympathy but these are a couple of things that helped me get through it.

Hi,

I'm sorry that you feel so upset but don't feel guilty about the way you feel.
I haven't particularly enjoyed being pregnant this time, I think the first time round the novelty of it gets you through, second time round it's just basically a pain in the rear end (literally).
I was awake for an hour last night just thinking about how I can't wait for my body to get back to normal (only 2 weeks left).

We are also moving soon which has added to the stress (DD3 will only be around 1-2 months old by the time we move - no actual date yet but just so relieved we are not moving this month!)

Maybe just try to spend some more time thinking about yourself and doing things you enjoy to take your mind off it a bit, difficult with a toddler already I know. I haven't done that this time, still trying to equally share the childcare with my DH and now regretting not taking it a bit easier earlier on in my pregnancy.

Thanks for the replies. I know I am always whinging about this on here, it's just if I whinge in RL I get these sort of looks and people think I am 'just not coping very well'.

No-one really who can take DD, all my friends have young babies or are heavily pg. My mum looks after DD overnight sometimes but she is a few hours away so not very often.

She's not really a problem as I work 4 days a week, that is more the problem. I dread having to go work and be normal. I do feel bad for DD though as I am just not up for playing with her, I am so tired.

WRT to the move it is more complicated. We are hopefully moving into the house of some friends who are relocating for a few years, but they aren't leaving till July, so if the flat goes before then we are going to be in shit.

Jacksmama, I'm grateful that you feel the same, when you tell people they say 'you must be so excited!' and I just think 'really, what is there to be excited about? Lack of sleep, aches and pains and wanting to vomit' and that is before the baby comes along and then what the fuck am I going to do? I'm terrified DD is going to resent me even more (she already prefers DH much more than me - no wonder as I am such a mean grouchy mummy who won't play ).

I'm just so fed up with constant headaches and feeling so tired. I had one day on Friday where I actually felt more like me and felt like I could really so this. But it didn't last. I just want to be me again

I'm on number 4 (36+4 weeks) so should know the score by now but I hate being pregnant. For me it is a means to an end, I love once the baby is born adore my children but the pregnancy bit sucks.

4 months of feeling like death not eating, smells making me vomit followed by about 2 good weeks before the SPD kicks in. I cannot walk/drive/do anything for myself really, showering is a pain as is getting dressed so for about 4 days last week I didn't really bother. I am in constant pain which I can lessen by taking painkillers but then I feel really guilty and they make me feel woozy and sick anyway. I am so miserable and moany I am surprised DP and the DDs haven't left me.

No family help whatsoever so it's either me or DP who has been fantastic I have to say.

If one more person says "not long now!" I think I will throw something, it does feel very long when you feel like this.

Ok, a suggestion. Does DD go to nursery or a childminder? Would it be possible for her to go for a morning or afternoon session on your day off? It could even be once a fortnight if every week wasn't possible. It would give you a pocket of time to do whatever: sleep, have a long bath, read, craft, do absolutely nothing.
Although it would mean a little less time with DD, (although most sessions are only 3-4 hours) you would probably feel more refreshed and the time spent with DD after would be quality time.
It could help in the short term. I did this while pregnant with DS2 and it helped to keep me sane. DS1 loved his nursery which helped, then when I picked him up loved having a mum who was prepared to devote the rest of the day entirely to him.

Agree with tilly, TV is a lifesaver with DS ATM. In fact he is watching a Chuggington DVD as I type (although he is pestering me to come and watch with him!).
Oh and I know what you mean Bumper about feeling guilty for being a rubbish mum and worrying about HTF I will cope with another one - keep telling myself that millions of women do it somehow so so will I!

I'm with you. I didn't enjoy it the first time around and at just 9 weeks, I am hating it this time. Goodness knows what the hell I am gonna be like by the time I get to 16 weeks!

Last time I was out of the game for about 4 months due to high bp too, so am really worrying about that and looking after a 2 year old this time.

I've been very sick for about 5 weeks now and am so fed up. I can't go a day without puking and am struggling so muc to eat. Been puking bile for days now, it's gross. I just keep thinking about the end goal and all the little landmarks in-between to keep me going. Every day down is anther day we don't have to do again! Chin up girl, you can do it.(that's what I keep telling myself anyway.)

No more after this one, for sure.

I'm 33 weeks tomorrow and am pretty much hating every second of this pregnancy and if one more person says to me "not long to go now" I am going to do them some physical harm.

Hyperemesis which started easing at 16 weeks, until then I had spent 8 weeks in bed unable to hardly eat, do anything for myself or go to work. I got out of bed at 16 weeks and discovered I had severe SPD. I've been off work since the end of October and am bored to tears and am so fed up with people saying to me "enjoy doing nothing while it lasts cos once the baby is born...". It's no fun at all being virtually housebound and I can't really go anywhere or do anything because it's too painful and have crutches to walk with.

Sorry just read sweetkitty's post and mine is pretty similar. I agree with her 100%, pregnancy is just a means to an end.

Bumper please don't beat yourself up, if you are finding work a real struggle at the moment I suggest you go and talk to your GP. Perhaps he/she could sign you off for a week or two to get some rest. Mine was fantastic with both the hyperemesis and the SPD, like I said before I've been off work since I was about 8 or 9 weeks and I still haven't started my Mat leave yet!!

hi you are not alone. i think some women love pr2gnancy and some dont. just not everyone will admit it. i am 37 weeks now and have moaned and stamped my feet through this one. I am having a sweep on friday at my request, hope it works. i would rather have baby to deal with than pregnancy, it is a bloody long time and i just want my body back now.

I hated it. So much so I may not have a second child. It was awful.

Don't feel guilty.

I've got 2 lovely boys but hated every second of being pregnant both times. I did have probs with both pregnancies but it's mainly that I just feel so exhausted all the way through. Horrendous heartburn both times too. Never again. I'm done

I have never ever felt exhaustion like I did in the first few months of pregnancy, along with being sick it was completely crippling! I do not blame you for being miserable at all i completely hated it , and at 38+4 i still hate it! But yes in real life you get awful looks for moaning about it, but there are people who understand you

Gopefully you might get a bit of energy back for a while and feel a bit better in the sort of middle stage ? I admire you (and everyone else) for managing pregnancy with another little one. That is ANYTHING but a failure! I have struggled looking after myself I can't even contemplate how difficult pregnancy would have been with a little one. I don't think it is something I am ever brave enough to find out.

Big sympathy to you and i really hope you start feeling better xX

It's shit, isn't it? I hate the way people go on about pregnancy like it's some magical time. I am 26 weeks and absolutely whopping. I'm exhausted, can't sleep properly. I can't imagine how I'll last another 14 weeks but at the same time I don't want a newborn yet. I feel fat and very conspicuous and have new varicose veins developing as well as piles. We've got a big DIY project that we HAVE to get done before the baby's born and the thought of that fills me with dread.

Ugh, no more for me after this, definitely.

One thing did actually help me which was starting an antenatal yoga class one evening a week. I'm finding it really relaxing and feels like I'm getting in touch with the body I was starting to hate. As a result I began dreaming about my unborn DS2 and started to fall a bit in love with him, which is helping when I feel so negative about pregnancy - I know I can split the two in my mind so by hating pregnancy I don't feel guilty towards the baby IYSWIM.

You aren't alone!

God, moan away.
I agree.
Hideous experience.
I hated it too.

I don't think I really hated it, except occasionally, but I certainly didn't enjoy it at all. And I was luckier than some - no real morning sickness for starters - but I did get dreadful acid reflux and constipation and DS doing starjumps in my belly, which was horrible.

No, definitely not my idea of a good time - and to think I am contemplating doing it again (or rather, actively trying to do it again).

Please don't feel guilty about it though - not everyone has the "blooming" thing by a long chalk and there are lots of others who have a terrible time too.

The last thing BettyButterknife said - about separating your feelings about the pregnancy from your feelings about becoming a mother - that's what helped me too.

I loathe being pregnant (second time now), but it is hard to talk to other people about unless you happen to know someone who had a similar experience.

It''s such an emotional minefield. Everyone out there has some terrifically personal take on it, and no-one can see the wood for the trees, really.

I know a fair few people who are trying and failing to conceive their first/second child, people who keep miscarrying, people who are going through IVF, and of course none of them sympathise, because they all want to be pregnant - and I am.

However, I know that if they experienced my pregnancies, they would see things differently. No point arguing though - they've got their own stuff to deal with.

Grateful to be having a baby - thoroughly ungrateful to be pregnant. Normal imo.

There's no law that says you have to love being pregnant. It's a biological process not a lifestyle "experience", and how you feel about it doesn't have any bearing on what sort of mother you are.

Personally, I'll be glad when the baby's here. I don't hate pregnancy as such but then I've been lucky to have had an easier time than you physically (so far). I am bloody knackered a lot though, and am prone to mood swings and feel very short-tempered much of the time. I'm 26 weeks and have a nearly 3 year old daughter, who thinks it's hee-larious to run away from me on the street and in the supermarket, and who still wants to be picked up a lot of the time. I'm having to do lots more physically than I did last time I was pregnant, when I was very pampered by comparison and as a result found the newborn weeks a terrible shock to the system!

oh god pregnancy sucks, I wanted 3 children until this pregnancy reminded me how shit being pregnant is and now we are deffo sticking with two. Also I get hayfever and almost get a panic attack each time I think I am going to have to do without hayfever medication this year but will still have to be outside because I have a 2 yr old who needs to play. Seriously, I find nothing natural about pregnancy.

Also, I hate babies, they are so tedious for the first 6 months.

Pregnancy is crap - i mean i'm sure some people think its fun, an exciting and all. But I am definitely not one of them.

not even lookin forwards to it being over, as I don't like newborns much either! It'll be fine when this one is about 1 year old.

Motherhood is just one of those bits of life that is hugely about delayed gratification.

Piriton, Libra (non-branded drug name is chlorpheniramine). Safe in pregnancy, and free if your GP will prescribe. It was a lifesaver for me last time - I'm prone to terrible rhinitis in pregnancy and at my worst I was getting through a box of Kleenex a day.

EmmaBemma piriton is NOT recommended for women in pregnancy as the safety of this drug during pregnancy has not been established. It should be avoided during pregnancy, unless the potential benefits to the mother outweigh any possible risk to the developing baby. I saw 2 doctors and a pharmacist last time and none of them would prescribe/recommend piriton to me.
I am currently considering acupuncture but think it will be too expensive.

Hey Libra - not sure what site you just looked at but I was prescribed chlorpheniramine by my GP, who like all GPs gets her information from the BNF (British National Formulary - which releases info on known safety of all drugs). There's also some info here:

www.obfocus.com/high-risk/meds1.htm

I'm not saying you have to take it! Was just trying to help, obviously everyone has to make their own decisions.