Would anyone be interested in joining a don't-tell-until-12weeks thread?

[Unbuffy]

I am 6 weeks pregnant and determined not to tell ANYONE in RL (bar dh of course) about it until the 12 week scan goes okay. I recently had a mmc and found out at the scan which was at 14 weeks, so I had already told lots of people. So this time is going to be different.

But everyone seems to want to tell the world really early, so I thought I'd start this thread for anyone else, either in the same situation, or who just wants to keep quiet, or who wants to rant quietly (or loudly - we won't tell) about crappy first-trimester stuff that nobody else must know about!

Any takers?

Hello Unbuffy (waves)

Me too! Not telling (or trying not to) until 12 week scan - which for me is on 29th April.

This is number 2 for me and last time we told everyone at 5 weeks - which made the pg seem really long.

Finding it really difficult. Totally off my food and pulling all kinds of excuses as to why I cannot drink at social functions. So far so good.

Feel so very sick though - been feeling sick for weeks now, with no end in sight. It's very hard - esp since me and dh and ds live wil fil and dh's younger brother. It's an all-male house (apart from me!) and I have just realised how disgusting men are! Help!

We're not telling until after the first scan either. Partly because I'd like the choice of whether to ask for support or not if we do have a problem, and partly because we're enjoying a bit of time with just the two of us knowing

It is hard though. My lovely parents are spending lots of time helping us decorate/garden in our new house, and I feel rubbish because I can only do a few hours at a time before I need to rest. They're all concerned for me because I have no energy and keep being ill (I've had a cold, migraine and just plain knakered-ness) and I feel bad because they're worried and I know that its not anything to be concerned about.

I also want to wait as long as possible before telling work, but again, I've had three days off sick in a month (not like me at all) and I look generally knackered all the time. I don't want them to know I'm pregnant, but nor do I want them to be annoyed with my sick days!

Moan over!

Yes I'd like to join to congratulate all and then have a bit of a moan.

Would prefer not to tell until 12 weeks too but am having a nightmare at work.
I work in a team of 4 women; my job share colleague is currently on mat leave until Mar '11 and my junior colleague confided in me that she had a BFP on same day as me (she's now been off sick for a week). As team leader I am dreading trying to shore up the service for the next 18 months (recruitment in my department / hospital is a joke at the moment). I haven't told anyone yet but am feeling that I should so managers and I can start to try and plan some cover and make sure the remaining worker doesn't collapse in a heap at the prospect of being completely abandoned.

Also feeling a bit guilty about going to parents for a delicious Easter lunch yesterday and not really helping due to general fatigue and mild background nausea.

I loved pregnancy 1st time around, would love to get this bit out of the way.

Sorry for the big moan, feel a bit better now

Yup, I'm in the same boat. 9 weeks tomorrow and not a soul knows apart from DH and my GP. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks last year, just days after we'd told our parents, and it was heartbreaking to have to 'un-tell' them after they'd been so excited for us.

We've just had my in-laws to stay for the Easter weekend, and I've been feeling sick and exhausted and kept having to go for a lie-down. With that and the not drinking I'm sure that my MIL has her suspicions.

I read a few days ago that the nausea will peak over weeks 9 and 10. Great.

Glad it's not just me then! Also feeling sick, although seem to have sick days and then hungry days! Very peculiar.

Managed to avoid Easter at parents (although am now in trouble as both brothers and sister went) - good thing as did not want either drink (always far too plentiful) or... wait for it... Chocolate. Unless it's very high cocoa it makes me feel really ill and indigestion-y at the moment, especially that dairy milk type that all easter eggs seem to be made of.

Will have to see both parents and in-laws next weekend though, I have decided that I'm going to have an ear infection and be on antibiotics. Am very chuffed with this excuse as it covers both feeling crap AND not drinking.

Just hope it works out...

Montifer how far through are you? Sounds like your collegue is making life tough - does she know that you got a bfp when she did?

We're just telling a few people - the ones that we feel should know (ie parents) and one or two selected friends.
Am 7 weeks at the mo. Had two miscarriages last year, both at about the 10-11 week mark so this is a weird time for us both.
The last two pregnancies gave me lots of nausea and breast tenderness but all I've got this time is a little breast tenderness - at least I'm feeling well with it :-)
I had two miscarriages before our two girls - they are 4 and 5 now. It's been a while so am kinda hoping that the two miscarriages last year were my body getting back into gear again.
Fingers crossed for everyone here!

Hi everyone,

This my first post, only joined today. This is my first pregnancy at age 33, appx 7 weeks (Only found out last week - five positive tests later!) and I haven't told anyone apart from my boyfriend. We had been trying for 6 months and are very chuffed that its worked now but keeping stum is killing me. I dont want to tell anyone until wk 12 so you thread sounds perfect.

I've had nausea (disgusting but bearable, not to the point of actually being sick yet) everyday in the afternoon for about 2 weeks, never morning, hardly ever in the evening and just feel really tired and bit faint. Its difficult to carry on like normal with friends and normal commitments. Not sure how I'll keep this going/quiet for the next 5 weeks.

Looking forward to hearing a bit more from you all!

Bye for now,
Tina

ps I called my GP when I found out but they don't want to see me until I'm 9 weeks. Is that common??? Thye just told me to continue with the folic acid and vit d and not to smoke and drink. I feel a bit left alone at the mo....

Hi all,

Would like to join too please, I'm currently 6+6 and struggling not to blab, I have a 19 month old DS and had a MC before him which has definatly kept me quiet until after the scan. Feeling very anxious but trying to stay positive.

Loads of friends seem to be announcing their pregnancies at the moment (though most seem to be about 6-8 weeks) and so finding it very hard not to say me too!!

Lipgloss - yep saw my GP on Tuesday and all he said was the midwife will be in touch when you are 9-10 weeks for bloods - so a waiting game we are playing at the moment

Congrats all on pregnancies though, it is nice to have a secret as once people know I'm afraid your public property, opinions and bump touching will be rife!!

I would love to join this too! This is my first post as I have just joined...

I am 34 and found out 2 days ago I am pregnant with my first. We have been trying for a few months but since I found out I feel a lot more nervous than I thought I would. Does anyone else feel like this?

We decided we would wait until 12 weeks to tell anyone but we felt like we had to tell our parents (I almost wish I hadn't because my mother is so excited and keeps emailing me baby stuff all the time and it's making me even more nervous!).

Haven't had much nausea yet but have been feeling tired easily and my boobs are absolutely killing me!

Congratulations to you all x

Hi all,

I'm in the same boat too!
I'm 8 weeks pregnant and feeling crap most of the time... feeling sick or gets severe headache and can't seem to do much

This is my first pregnancy and I never knew morning sickness could be this bad...

We told both our families (at 6weeks) but not friends...I was actually thinking of telling friends who's recently gone through pregnancy and find out how they coped with nausea...but perhaps I should wait and join this thread and moan!!

Congratulations to all the new tired and nauseous folk

Unbuffy - I'm 6 weeks I think. Haven't told anyone yet, would prefer not to until 1st scan, although am looking a bit green around the gills and yawning constantly so will probably be rumbled (like last time!)
Think my colleague her will be sharing every symptom minute by minute.

Am feeling intermittently queasy and knackered, don't think my breasts are as sore as last time although am still bf DS and that feels a bit tender to say the least.

Have completely forgotten the sequence of appointments and how the whole ante natal system works so thanks Gracie, useful to know that midwives will be in touch for bloods before dating scan.

I'm undecided about NT scan (I'm 36 in a couple of weeks) which would need to be done privately and am a bit concerned that we have a weeks holiday booked at 12 weeks so not sure how I'm going to fit in dating scan and NT if we choose to have one.

Looks like we'll be moving house around then too, don't remember all this stress last time

Hi all,

I am 4 weeks + 3 days so incredibly early and have so far just told my parents and the receptionist at the doctors (made initial consult appt with Doctor for 19th April or week 7)

have sore-ish boobs which every now and then have shooting pains down into the nipple and nausea but not feeling too tired yet.

I am worried however as have a vague yellowish discharge - is that normal?

feeling bloated and gassy (sorry!) so my tum feels abit hard!

we are happy to keep it to ourselves for now but think we might tell DH's parents at week 9 or 10 before siblings and friends after week 12.

Hi all,

I am eight weeks and finding it harder and harder to keep it to myself. basically, I don't want to tell people before I tell my parents and we won't see them until 12 weeks due to living in another country. So I've got to keep it under my hat until then and sometimes it's hard! It's my first pregnancy too. I'm 31.

I think I've been relatively lucky as regards symptoms. My boobs are sore, but I haven't thrown up at all. I feel very queasy a lot of the time, especially in the evening, but can't complain too much I guess! Very burpy as well, it's charming!

Montifer we are hoping to move house too -though first we'll have to find one...

spanish lady - I think the discharge is normal. I had it anyway and, erm, still do. I did also have 2 days of brownish spotting around 6 weeks but it was apparently nothing and the doc could see no cause for it. So, not always a reason to panic (she says in retrospect having totally panicked at the time )

I agree, discharge normal. Plus smelly wee (tmi, sorry)!

Morning sickness? Pah, I have evening sickness - I think my bean must be confused... And don't TALK to me about sore boobies! dd keeps leaning on them and elbowing them and I swear I never noticed before - is aggers now. Grumble grumble moan complain.

I am 7 weeks and already stupidly fat as this is DC2 but don't weigh any more than usual. Have not told anyone apart from Dh so fed up of lying to friends and family, but don't want anyone to tell my DS, in case the bean doesn't stick. Am very fed up and sick and glad for this moaning page.

Sorry, was it meant to be a moaning page? I know we are delighted really

Sorry to hijack - but I would advise everyone to tell at least a few people. If the worst happens it's awful to have either to pretend that nothing's happened, or to tell people both bits of news at the same time, if you see what I mean. Please - don't broadcast it if you don't want to, but do tell a trusted friend or two. It makes it so much easier for something awful happens.

Evening fellow moaners!
Hope you are all OK.

I've had an interesting day at the Early Pregnancy Unit after slight bleeding yesterday.
Wasn't terribly worried as had the same thing at exactly the same time during 1st pregnancy, but went along for advice and hoping they would do a scan which they did.
There was a little flashing heartbeat which was very reassuring and they reckon I'm 7+4

Will probably tell my parents this weekend as 12 weeks still seems forever away.

Will think about how to tell work colleagues maybe next week too.

Symptom wise:
discharge - yes
smelly wee - yes (why?!)
all day nausea - yes (but could be a lot worse so shouldn't complain)
eating huge amounts of food - yes (but wanting savoury things and not the usual large amount of chocolate I would usually expect to crave.

Hi

Joined yesterday - found out a couple of days ago and I think I am 4 weeks. We've told parents as would tell them if the worst happened. Oh and told the GP receptionist twice when I went to register.

The plan is to avoid telling work for as long as possible. Friends will have to wait until first scan so will have to think of fantastic excuses for the hen do next month!!

Possible symptoms at the moment (?? as surely I can't be getting them this early): nausea and sore boobs. But at least it means it's real

Hi all,

Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine as you count down the days to the magic 12 weeks

I'm feeling less tired and nauseous which is good, but then sows a small paranoid seed of wondering why symptoms have subsided. You can't win can you?! I thought symptoms are supposed to peak at around 9-10 weeks.
Am ashamed to say that I've put on 5lbs in as many weeks due to sheer greed and constant scoffing, really need to get a grip on my ridiculous intake

Told my parents last weekend who were very excited, my sister is expecting her 2nd in Sept so all being well their number of grandchildren will have doubled by Christmas.

Have got a midwife appointment next week and will hopefully get a scan booked then.

How's everyone else progressing?

I threw-up for the first time this morning! I've been feeling very nauseous for the last three weeks, but hadn't actually puked. Fortunately I only had orange juice in my stomach so it wasn't too disgusting. I feel proper pregnant now

I went to a wedding over the weekend and managed to escape anyone asking me why I wasn't drinking. I had a stomach-bug excuse lined up, but didn't need it which is good coz I'm a terrible liar!

I have my booking in appointment this week and my 12 week scan on the 28th (eep!), after which (all being well) we'll be going public.

Hi all,
Montifer I too have had the nausea actually ease off a bit rather than get worse. And yes I too worry about it sometimes, but otherwise all well. Symptoms still include sore boobs (especially in the morning), spots, fatigue and mad appetite. Sympathies on the puking though Amelia - it must be tough!

So, I hope all is well! We have told the in-laws and boyfy's siblings. They were over the moon. It all feels a bit more real now as well! It's funny. I feel sad that my family still don't know, but on the other hand I really think it's news that should be delivered in person, so I just have to wait it out!

I have a ten week scan next Monday. I am really looking forward to it (scared too of course) but really hope it will be a reassurance that all's well!

Hi all, Its sooo hard keeping it in, isnt it! I just want to blurt it out everytime I see a friend or family member, my husband is the same!

We are also waiting until our 12 week scan on the 5th May ...seems an age away, but dont want to risk anything as so many friends have had miscarriages before now and had already told everyone....

We have told one close couple to us and thats it, as they have just had a baby a couple of months ago so its nice to talk to someone who has just been through the same thing as us.

Congratulations everyone and good luck in this exciting time!

Yes, I'll join your thread. I'm 41, came off the pill 5 weeks ago (day of wedding) and tested positive on Saturday - bloody lucky, I know. I'm not sure what to think, I never imagined it would happen this fast, even at all. And I'm definitely not telling work as I'm on month-by-month contract. So far only DH and sis know, and will be keeping it that way!

If you feel you're wavering, I promise you can keep it a secret til 12 weeks. I'm nearly 18 weeks and the only people who know are health professionals, and DH of course (oh and mumsnet ). Our reasons are varied - past miscarriages, work issues etc., but a very large dollop of loving having such a (soon-to-be) huge secret. Kind of wish we could just keep it quiet until lo actually arrives - but that would mean not being able to leave house or see anyone and that ain't ever gonna happen!! If I haven't got any clothes on, you can tell I'm preggo'd (or maybe not, just look like my tum's been at the pies) but clothes on, nobody would ever know. Planning on going for as long as I can hide it, because the surprise when we tell the family will be magic! Will probably tell everyone at a family gathering in a month's time. I also feel like I have already been pregnant forever, so the injection of friends/family enthusiasm will probably make me feel like I've just found out all over again and stop the next 20 odd weeks from dragging.

Hello everyone, have not been around much lately due to mad busy life - dunno how that works, am usually not at all busy. Struggling with all day ms and not telling here - going for a cuppa with friends in the village not an option as tea makes me feel sooooo ill, just the smell in fact makes me do that gulp-in-the-throat thing.

rant alert
And went to see parents this w/e and my mother is... well, suffice to say she told me she is counting what week I am on since she was last aware of my period (was a particularly bad one with masses of pmt so she knew). AAARRRGGHH! Makes me so cross, interfering bag, none of her business! I mean, i do love my mum, but it's not her place to tell me how pregnant I should be -'either 7 weeks or 3 weeks' - so just assumed that I am. Which i am, but not about to tell because i am paranoid after mc last time when loads of people knew.

Just makes me more determined to keep our precious secret for as long as possible. Although the feeling permanently grotty part is making it very hard.