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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

NOBODY CARES NHS

44 replies

leawesty · 24/03/2010 21:08

Hi all i am new to this so please bear with me, Im 16 week pregnant I have had 3 miscarriages one at 16 week so as you can imagine im pretty scared right now, think i just need reassuring from people who might know my midwife treats me like i have lurgie and cant wait to get rid of me I dont see her now till 25 MAY which i think is disgusting, today I saw my consultant after weeks of moaning still dont feel much better
and my scan isn;t until 20 April just feel like they dont care even after everything i have been through.

OP posts:

JollyPirate · 24/03/2010 21:16

Hello leawesty, sorry to hear you have been through so much. It's horrible to have gone through a miscarriage at 16 weeks so understandably you are nervous. Unfortunately the NHS is not always very good at thinking through the issues when working with a Mum who has been through so much. Can you contact your midwife for a check at anytime? If so it might be worth asking her for a check next week to put your mind at rest (or your GP if the midwife is rarely around).
Have you had any scans at all yet? Often the scan at around 20 weeks is done at that stage because the baby is then big enough to get a proper look at things like the heart. If they are done too early then the liklihood of heart abnormalities/other problems with organs being picked up is reduced. I suspect that's why your scan is not until then. There should be a number you can ring to access a midwife though.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 21:16

Goodness, how stressful and upsetting for you. I work for the NHS, I know that it's not perfect and I know that patients previous medical histories are not often known by the medical staff who care for them. It's probable that messages have not been passed on and that they have not looked at your records (they are supposto do this). Could you phone your midwife tomorrow, arrange an appointment and go through everything that has happened with her? The ones I have known have been fantastic with their patients and really understanding at the stress and anxiety that miscarriages bring. You are being treated as having a 'normal' pregnancy, they do just allow women to get on with it if there have been no problems and I think that this isn't what you need.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 21:23

My MW knows all my history and unfortunatly I still get the same answers she just says speak to my consultant who i saw today and to be fair was very nice they are going to scan my cervix in 2 week to make sure it is not opening, I had a scan at 12 week only because i started bleeding thankfully everything was ok and obviously now i have got to 16 week I asked for scan this week because of losing at 16 week before and they refused to do it and told me to wait, every little pain i get i panic. maybe it is just me been a pain in the backside and i need to chill out but i just cant

thank you for your replys

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BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 21:31

I think you need to change midwives to be honest. The one you have doesn't sound pro active. Have you thought of getting a doula? They are like little helpers and will help you, lulumama's on here somewhere, she's a doula so will be able to advise you more.

The 12 week scan is an anomoly scan, they are given to all expectant mothers so it wouldn't have been because you had been bleeding. They use it to check that everything's growing as it should be. They should allow you to have regular scans, there's no risk involved to your baby and it's better for them to do these for you then to allow you to become stressed.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 21:34

what is a doula? I have never heard of that

OP posts:

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 21:35

www.doula.org.uk here, I wish I'd had been told about them when I had ds.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 21:38

thank you! sorry you must think im really thick but what is ds?

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BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 21:41

Darling son. Of course you are not thick, it's me assuming everyone's been on here for ages so knows the abbreviations

A doula sounds like someone that can help you, there's a FAQ on the link about the cost, they have a hardship fund so no family needs to miss out.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 21:45

I will check out the site, thankyou very much
much appreciated

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BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 21:48

You are very welcome. I'm so sorry that you are feeling so let down by the staff who are caring for you, could you have a chat with your GP? A doula could really help you aswell.

MumNWLondon · 24/03/2010 21:50

OP - I think you need to go and discuss this with your GP - there are very few ante natal appointments at the start these days.... I have a medical condition so I saw my GP monthly at the start.

In my hospital everyone offered 12 week (nuchal) and 20 week (anomoly) scan - I think this is relatively common. A scan at 16 weeks would neither allow them to check the analomy scan stuff not do the nuchal test.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 21:54

to be honest i got to feeling like i will just plod on, go to my appointments when i have them. I feel like I have talked to them all till im blue in the face and still get the same answers, I feel like that is all i can do My husband is fab but I feel like im just going over the same old ground when i get on about to him then i start feeling like a nag even though he sits there and listens to me rant on.

OP posts:

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 21:57

It's such a stressful time for you though, you need support, I imagine your husband does aswell.

There's alot of support on here, there's alot of people who have lost and have managed to deliver a healthy baby, it may help.

hazeyjane · 24/03/2010 21:57

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

I am pregnant with dc3 (3rd darling child), and in the area where I live they don't do a nuchal scan, so the 1st scan can be anywhere from 12 weeks to 16 weeks, then everyone gets an anomoly scan around 20 weeks.

Because of a previous molar pregnancy, I have to have a couple of extra scans in the early weeks, but have always arranged them myself with the ultrasound dept of local hospital. When I tried to arrange it through the MW or GP, I disn't get a call back, and the scanning dept had no record of me. It is really important to me to have these scans, so I have always made sure I sort it myself.

I would keep on ringing, and see if you can get an extra scan.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 22:02

I think you should be my doula

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cece · 24/03/2010 22:05

I am shocked. I lost my baby at 19 weeks and my consultant gave me extra reassurance scans in my subsequent pg and my mw let me come weekly to get me past the 'danger' time to listen to the heartbeat. They were so kind.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 22:05

Hi hazeyjane, I tried that one and it didn't work I had a scan booked for 16 week but because I had to have one at 12 week they cancelled it and moved it to april I tried asking them to let me keep my appointment but they were having none of it

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hazeyjane · 24/03/2010 22:09

That is terrible Leawesty. Mind you where we lived before, I had to have an extra scan, with an nhs consultant in an nhs hospital, it took 5 minutes, and 2 weeks later we were sent a bill for £120 by the consultant!

Is there any other MW's you could see? It sounds like you need to get someone on your side.

IsItMeOr · 24/03/2010 22:15

leawesty - so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. It is totally understandable that you're feeling anxious right now. I had one early miscarriage before having DS (darling son), and I was very anxious until after the 20 week scan.

I don't know if this is an option for you, but you can get something called a reassurance scan done privately e.g. here for £120.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 22:17

oh my god cece, 19 week its so horrible isnt it, im glad you were treated well after that I asked to see my mw weekly and she said.." I couldn't possibly do that I just dont have the time"
Hazeyjane I cant believe they charged you that is bad!!

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BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 22:21

At the hospital I train at they scan women who have been bleeding weekly.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 22:23

that is relly good I think I need to move out of leeds,

OP posts:

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 22:27

MrsChemist · 24/03/2010 22:31

Is there a Sure Start centre near you? My community midwives had sessions every week at my nearest Sure Start and you could just go along as and when you pleased to have a chat to the midwives.

It's worth checking out if there is a similar service any where near you.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 22:32

I havn't misunderstood your message have i?
BelleDeChoclateFluffyBun

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