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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

NOBODY CARES NHS

44 replies

leawesty · 24/03/2010 21:08

Hi all i am new to this so please bear with me, Im 16 week pregnant I have had 3 miscarriages one at 16 week so as you can imagine im pretty scared right now, think i just need reassuring from people who might know my midwife treats me like i have lurgie and cant wait to get rid of me I dont see her now till 25 MAY which i think is disgusting, today I saw my consultant after weeks of moaning still dont feel much better
and my scan isn;t until 20 April just feel like they dont care even after everything i have been through.

OP posts:

ConsortToTheGeneralisimus · 24/03/2010 22:35

I would strongly recommend changing your MW, she sounds like a right old moo!

I had many problems with my 1st MW. She was rude, uninterested, she missed important bloods and failed to refer me for a recurrent Ecoli infection. At one point, she didn't bother turning up for an appointment with me and I'd had enough, so politely told her that to do this without explanation was unprofessional. She then proceeded to tell me I was nothing but trouble and she wanted nothing more to do with me!

A swift complaint was put in (after I had finshed my hormonal sobbing)to my GP's Surgery manager and the Head of the Midwifery team for the local NHS Trust. Within 5 days, I had a full appology and the head of the midwifery team became my community midwife.

It's really worth doing and your current MW needs a swift kick to the vajayjay a session of retraining

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 22:39

Maybe. It's a funny system. I fail to see why they are not scanning you more often given what's happened to you before. It's far better for you and your baby for them to scan you more often, stress is known to be a cotributor to all sorts of problems. If you can get a scan to pit your mind at ease then surly it's in you and your baby's best interest.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 22:39

That is bad Im glad you got rid of her!
There is only 1 midwife at my practice and feel if i moan im going to end up not having a midwife.

OP posts:

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 22:42

The midwife from your practice works as a member of a team in the community midwifery service. If you wish to change her then you can get a midwife who is assigned to another practice, she'll come out to you rather then you see her in the practice.

You should seriously consider swapping as well as having a think about the advice that I have given you above (doula etc).

ConsortToTheGeneralisimus · 24/03/2010 22:46

They cannot leave you without midwifery care. You have a right to complain about her behaviour and unsympathic treatment of you. It is then up to the trust to provide you with a more suitable MW.
Honestly - call your local hospital tomorrow and ask to speak to the Head of Midwifery services. Explain the situation to her and tell her that you don't want to raise a formal complaint but you feel you are left with no other option. Then sit back and watch them fall over themselves to help you......and if they don't, insist on raising a formal complaint.
Being self effacing, nice and quiet gets you nowhere with the majority of the NHS (thankfully not all) @ community level - you have to make a fuss and get them panicked enough to realise that you are very serious about making a complaint. Only then will they shift themselves enough to do what they are supposed to do.

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 22:46

yes i will look into it i think thanks so much for all your advice, i do feel much better

OP posts:

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 24/03/2010 22:48

Keep me posted how things go. It must be such a stressful time for both you and your husband. There's alot of support on here so it's a great place to come if things are getting tough and you need an ear.

I really do wish you all the best.

hazeyjane · 24/03/2010 22:49

I agree, you have to be rally assertive about trying to get another MW, if you are not happy.

I complained to the hospital when we received the consultant's bill - we didn't pay it, obvioulsy. We received an apology, I also had to ask to have another consultant assigned to me.

hazeyjane · 24/03/2010 22:51

Gawd, my spelling is very bad - sorry. Time to go to bed- good luck

Original poster

leawesty · 24/03/2010 22:56

Thanks all, I might ring tomorrow and see what can be sorted, thanks again. Im sure i will be back for another moan probably tomorrow. Good Night

OP posts:

MissusRabbit · 25/03/2010 06:42

I had scans at 16 weeks with DS and this current baby. DD had severe spina bifida and they can tell at this stage, if it is so severe. So you can get scans at different times.

I don;t really get on with my MW that i;ve had the last 3 times but just go through the motions with her. I have more regular consultant appointments and the mw at the hospital are fab (i have a complicated history and they actually seem to read my notes there so are very understanding).

Perhaps get in touch with your consultants secretart and see if you can get an appointment and scan sorted out. I;ve had 4 weekly appointments and a scan every time with this baby from 12 weeks...

Good luck, and congatulations x

IsItMeOr · 25/03/2010 07:12

It might be worth your checking the NICE guidelines on maternity services to see what they say about extra scans. Then you'll know what you can expect from the NHS. The website isn't working for me at the mo, so I can't post you a link.

Could you use some of your health in pregnancy grant to pay for a private scan? This is your baby, and if you can't get the reassurance you need from the NHS, then personally I would see getting a scan as a high priority for any spare cash I had.

numbertwo · 25/03/2010 09:43

I can only speak from my experience but the title of this thread sums it up really. I have very limited access to my midwife (who is lovely by the way), as I have said on another thread. We live in a rural area and she only comes to the GP's surgery for 3 hours per week for 10 min appointments. I could ask for another mw but doubt they would drive an hour from town just to see me so I would end up having to go to the hospital to see them - this would only be worth doing if I felt I could get better care.

On the issue of scans. I managed to get an additional scan by going to see my GP rather than going through the midwives. The GP arranged it eventually but it took two appointments and three phone calls on my part, although I did get my scan appointment for the day after my third phone call.

If the really important thing right now is to get the scan then I would suggest trying to go through your GP or going private. Once you have this sorted you might want to look at options for getting another midwife

first1 · 25/03/2010 11:38

Sorry to hear you're having what sounds like pretty rubbish treatment. I don't know if this is an option for you, but could you pay for a private reassurance scan? Not sure where you live, but I went to the Women's Ultrasound Clinic on Harley Street and I can't express how kind they were and how much time they spent with me. It was £120 but in my opinion worth the money for the piece of mind. BabyBond is also worth googling, they have scanning clinics all over the country x

IsItMeOr · 25/03/2010 11:39

numbertwo - for where I live in SW London, if you got the chance for 10mins per week with a midwife you'd be doing very well. And you get to see the same one every time?!

The NHS has finite resources, so we aren't all going to get everything we would like out of it. It's simple maths.

numbertwo · 25/03/2010 13:03

We don't get 10 mins per week, I meant the midwife is only available for appointments for 3 hours per week - as a result she gets booked out pretty quickly and for routine appointments you sometimes have no choice but to go to the nearest hospital instead.

I agree that the NHS has finite resources so, based on my experience anyway, I think that it could be more sympathetic to people that choose to pay for parts of their treatment that they feel strongly about (although that is another story and another thread).

kapars · 25/03/2010 21:09

I had a miscarriage last year and at the hospital that treated me in the north west (as i was visiting my parents), they said on subsequent pregancies I could get early scans and go every week to be scanned for reassuranace if needed.
But I live in London and with this pregnancy (now 25 weeks) the GP requested an early scan given my history but I didn't get one til 13 weeks! So I paid and got a private one at 7 plus 5 which was totally worth it. I paid £95 on Harley Street.
If you can afford it I totally recommend. They can usually fit you in the next day and the relief you feel takes all that stress away.
I think NHS care differs all over the country and in very overstretched places they have rules they seem very unwilling to bend - even in cases where women have had traumatic experiences.

IsItMeOr · 25/03/2010 21:51

numbertwo - that sounds more familiar! It depends so much on the particular midwife though, doesn't it, as there are some I met where 10mins would be more than you wanted .

DoulaKate · 30/03/2010 11:19

Hi Leawesty. Totally understand your anxiety and I think Belle is right. You could really benefit from a Doula. They offer reassurance and emotional support throughout your pregnancy and birth. They don't offer any medical advice. If you go to the doula uk website, you can click on the map and find those Doulas close to you. If money is tight, there's a hardship fund, or alternatively, click on the Doulas at the bottom of the page, without the stars. These are trainee Doulas who do not charge full fee, so are good value for money! They will have completed a recognised Doula course. Having had 4 miscarriages myself, I know how panicky you can get. Eventually got 3 healthy kids now, but could really have done with the expert, emotional support from a Doula.

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