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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

miscarage at 15+5

76 replies

bigmuther65 · 21/02/2010 20:39

Just found out today that our baby has stopped growing at 15+5 have to go to hospital tomorrow was told today that i would probably have to take tablets and have the baby.Really did not take in any information as i was shell shocked ,i have miscarried before,but at 8wks and 10wks.I'm guessing this will be a lot worse.Just wondering what to expect as i am terrified

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

xxkt1xx · 22/02/2010 13:50

thinking of you xx

Allthe8s · 22/02/2010 14:08

bigmuther65 I am so sorry to read your news, I was with you on the August thread too but I dropped out early due to a mmc I totally understand how terrified you must be as I have been there having lost dd2 at 21 weeks last year.

I agree with allstarprincess on all her points raised. I know in some hospitals you would probably be in a side room on the gynae ward or epu as you are under 20 weeks. Maternity wouldn't touch me with a barge pole before I got to 20 weeks. Also don't be frightened of how tiny your baby might be, I was petrified of what she would look like but I am so glad that I got to see and hold her afterwards. Again as allstar says take any help offered, be it pain relief, follow ups or counselling.

I don't need to tell you it is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions for a while but time does heal and you are a brave lady and you will get there. Big hugs x

cazzybabs · 22/02/2010 20:09

thinking of you today....

xxkt1xx · 22/02/2010 21:11

cant stop thinking about you bigmuther...hope you are not too traumatised and i hope you get lots of love and support xx

hippychick66 · 22/02/2010 21:22

So much sadness and so many losses. It really does seem so crual. I had no idea this happened so much at this stage. I was one of those people who cunted down the weeks to 12 and thought all was ok after that.

bigmuther I cannot imagine how awful you are feeling, so sorry i recommended EPRC if it's not possible at your stage. I hope all goes ok for you over the next few days.

nappyaddict · 23/02/2010 01:56

Thanks to the people who answered my questions and hope you don't mind me hijacking OP. I think I am going to have the tablets rather than D&C, as I think for me it will be help with the grieving process better.

Did anyone else have their milk come in? I hadn't even thought of that

xxkt1xx · 23/02/2010 02:02

hi nappy addict...i had my miscarriage at 21 weeks and milk came in x not nice but to be honest i went into my own little world and didnt think much of it at the time ...not sure if this helps xx kelly

nappyaddict · 23/02/2010 02:24

Is it just babies born after 20 weeks that they do a post mortem for?

confuddledDOTcom · 23/02/2010 02:46

bigmuther, I feel for you and all the others in this position.

nappyaddict, I've been away from the site for awhile and didn't realise. How far are you?

Generally it's babies born alive or after 24 weeks if they're stillborn that have a postmortem, although some hospitals do it differently.

I had my baby at 20 weeks and was given a pill without being asked, just handed it in a little cup and gently told "here, take this, it will stop your milk coming in". I don't know if it would have otherwise.

xxkt1xx · 23/02/2010 07:04

i think it must depend on different situations as because i went into labour on my own at 22 weeks hence leading to baby being too early (22weeks) to live they offered me a postmortem to see why i went into labour early and if baby would have been ok had he gone the distance...however i refused this and put it down to one of those things and gave him the peaceful burial he deserved.
if baby had died inside me i probably would have had the postmortem if they offered it to me x
how far gone are you

still thinking of you bigmuther

Cadmum · 23/02/2010 09:00

bigmuther, I am thinking of you today and hoping that everything went as well as possible for you yesterday.

nappyaddict, I am sorry that you need to ask these questions at all. May I ask how far along you are? My thoughts are with you...

I was still BF a toddler with the miscarriages at 18 and 19 weeks so when the milk came in, which it did, it was not a big problem. Emotionally, I would have found it very difficult had I not been feeding another child.

I was offered a tablet to stop the production of milk all three times but know of others who were not.

I was also offered a postmortem each time. I could not bear the thought with our first baby because I thought it would be a one-off. At the time it felt more important to have a peaceful burial.

With the twins at 16 weeks, the results were inconclusive so I almost regretted subjecting their tiny bodies to such an intrusive procedure.

I was talked into having another postmortem this time because the doctor suggested that there are new tests available all the time and that they might test for things today that were overlooked 6 years ago. He then applied more pressure by suggesting that I could prevent my daughters from having a similar experience if it is a genetic condition. I relented but I fully expect to hear (in two weeks time) that the results are inconclusive.

xxkt1xx · 23/02/2010 09:38

cadmum i agree with you...had i had a second late miscarriage i think i would have had a postmortem done to see the reason xx hope you get a clear reason for miscarrying as it may help the healig process if you know why rather than forever wondering and the "what if's" that always seem to come after miscarriage xx

Original poster

bigmuther65 · 23/02/2010 10:17

Sorry nappyaddict you are to having to go through this.
Starting the process today, hospital have been lovely and have told me what to expect.Really not coping well at the moment,and really want the next few days over and done with,feels strange knowing that i am still pregnant,but my baby is not growing.Hopefully we can name our baby when we find out they was a he/she, feel this will help with the grieving.

OP posts:

confuddledDOTcom · 23/02/2010 10:34

I was offered one just because I delivered a live baby. Because it was a natural labour and Angel was obviously strong we agreed that I needed testing rather than Angel. I couldn't bear for them to cut up my perfect baby.

I would urge anyone who has had a later loss, especially if the baby seemed healthy or tests on baby were inconclusive to ask for a test for Antiphospholipid Syndrome - it's in the miscarriage statement that MumsNet wrote and there was an article on BBC news this morning. Personally I think every pregnant woman should be offered the test and given it automatically if they lose a baby. Graham Hughes (who discovered it) was talking about it this morning and he said pretty much the same. The test is a cheap as is treatment. He said that 1 in 5 is caused by Antiphospholid Syndrome.

ilovesprouts · 23/02/2010 10:38

sorry for your loss my dd has lost 2 babies

nappyaddict · 23/02/2010 11:24

kt Was your baby born alive or did he die during labour?

Cadmum Did your milk come in with the twins at 16 weeks?

I didn't actually know I was pregnant - did loads of tests and they were all negative so I guess that shows something wasn't right from the off. Doctor thinks about 15 weeks, but am booked in for a scan to confirm it this week. Not looking forward to that with all the other pregnant women milling around.

Allthe8s · 23/02/2010 11:44

Thinking of you today xxx

confuddledDOTcom · 23/02/2010 11:50

Nappy, it may not be like that. I've had scans when I've had early bleeds and when I've lost a pregnancy and they've been quite respectful really. Either been with other very early mothers who are worried about something (because if you're having an early scan there's usually something to worry about) or been seen during lunch periods. You probably won't be seen in an antenatal clinic.

cazzybabs · 23/02/2010 12:51

nappy - when I had scans to confirm I had a mc - I went to the day unit and then was taken straight through to the scan unit...so no sitting crying with other pregnant ladies around. It was as dignified as they could make it.

xxkt1xx · 23/02/2010 16:48

nappy my baby was alive when he was born but didnt even last 2 minutes on the outside...his heartbeat was fine and i was on the drip to try and stop labour...unfortunately my waters then broke and baby was born too early xx hope this helps x

hippychick66 · 23/02/2010 19:43

Hi, sending lots of love to all of you have had to suffer losses at this stage. I found it hard enough at 11 weeks but your stories are heartbreaking.

Also please accept my apologies. I have just re-read what I typed last night and I thought I had put COUNTED but as you can see I actually used rather a bad word in error . Hope it didn't offend any one.

xxkt1xx · 23/02/2010 20:10

hippy actually sometimes i need typos like that to pick up my mood lol i read that last night and laughed x thats just me though xx

xxkt1xx · 23/02/2010 20:11

ps how are u doing nappy addict and bigmuther xxxxx

nappyaddict · 24/02/2010 02:09

I don't know if something is starting. Had really bad lower back pain tonight like you get before your period is due.

xxkt1xx · 24/02/2010 10:09

mmm sounds like your right ... keep your chin up sweet we are all here for you as most of us have been in the same boat and the ones who havent been there are still very good for moral support xxxxxx

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