T-shirt slogans you wish you had...

[ClaireVictoria]

For some colleagues ..

"I am having a baby not a lobotomy."

If one more colleague talks to me like I am the actual baby I may have to pat their belly, tilt my head in a sympathetic manner with accompanying stupid look, and give them a good dose of patronisation back , monosyllabically of course!!

XC

'No, I'm fat actually'

Just to stop people asking me if I was pregnant (I'm not now btw)

"If you touch my stomach I swear I will honk your boobs."

DS2 has got a brilliant one....i have the body of a god.....shame it's a budda!!!!!!!

"due 28 March" - after being asked the same well-meaning question for the umpteenth time in one day.

If it could fit all of this on:

1. Mid-May
2. Yes, I am big
3. No, it's not twins
4. #3, yes we have a telly
5. f**k off now

[slightly annoyed at the presumption that just because it's obvious therefore intrusive personal comments are welcome emoticon]

for when/if i go overdue

"yep im still here!!"

"Get out of my fucking way"

"yes, it was planned."

people have actually asked me that with both children. the first was born before i married dh. i thought it was rude even then.

but now with this second one i am married with one child of 2.5, and someone asked me if this baby was planned. talk about nosey.

"No, we're not "going for the boy""

when pg with what turned out to be DD3

• no you cant fucking touch it now fuck off
• yes Im big but its not forever and sadly you'll always be that fat/ugly (delete as appropriate)

I like the list idea...
I seem to have had the same set of questions in the same order several times a day lately:

1. end of this month
2. yes really, it's just a small bump
3. no, it's a surprise
4. well, we've made a shortlist
5. as ready as we'll ever be...

I might get these printed ont a laminated card and just hand it over to folk in shops etc.

(I don't mind really, it's a pleasure to chat about it, esp as I didn't really show til last month so no-one knew, and I love it when slightly older women go all misty-eyed and say "Enjoy it love, it's the best thing in the world, ooh if I could go back to when they were little, etc etc"

Boyfriend wants one that says;

on the front "Yes I am"

on the back "pleased"

'Yes, I've tried fucking ginger'

For everyone who saw me looking green/puking in the street till 30 weeks.

NO I HAVE NOT HAD THE BABY YET!!

(6 days overdue, fed up with people expressing their impatience, their annoyance almost! Feel like replying witheringly "yes, it must be really hard for you...")

Three in four years produces this T-shirt...

1. Yes, I suppose I will have my hands full.
2. Not sure how I'll cope, perhaps I'll give one of them to you.
3. I didn't find out the sex as it seemed a little flippant in the middle of a clinical exam to start looking around for a winkie when the sonographer was concentrating on the details of the four heart chambers.

Sympathy YanknCock I wanted to murder every single last bastard who told me to "eat a ginger nut biscuit before you even get out of bed" to cure my hyperemisis.

Stop fucking touching my bump.

Yes it is hard, theres a baby in there...

yes I have varicose veins in my fanny..They HURT. Now fuck and get me a chair.

(I so want to say this last one to my manager at work when she expects me to be on my feet for a full shift and do the same amount of work as everyone else, when at the moment due to above problem and slight spd, it is agony to walk about)

Thank god I'm on mat leave in a couple of weeks

meant to say fuck off and get me a chair! Its late..

"No i am not mad"
"Yes this was planned"
No i don't think it will be hard work with 2"
Yes i know i have a big fucking age gap thats what i wanted" - when pg with ds2 9yrs after having ds1

sheepgomeep

ROFL ...oh that's funny.

Love this thread

Like the thread! Here's a few of mine...and only half way through (1st) pregnancy...

"No I don't want to hear your scary labour stories"
"I know my boobs are huge, they are attached to me"
"It's a surprise"
"No you can't feel my bump. In particular DO NOT feel my bump THEN ASK if you can feel it"

And in response to questions relating to the birth:
"My pain threshold is fine thank you" [how's your pain threshold]
"More concerned about spending the rest of my life responsible for another person than the birth"
"Yes I know it's painful"

I'm not fat.
I'm not big boned.
I'm FREAKING PREGNANT!

I'm actually thinking of getting this made into a t-shirt as I'm in the "in between" stage (16 weeks) and friends that I haven't seen for a while look at me like I've been letting myself go a bit...

Don't bother talking to me.

I'm not fucking interested.

I'm pregnant
I've been ill all winter with this stinking cold
My asthma is god-awful
And I have a two year old
And, no, being a SAHM with all of the above is not freakin' wafting off into the sunset....
Now what's your excuse?

Last month I would have loved a

'Fuck the snow' tee!