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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Internal exams during pregnancy - so scared:(

34 replies

Pinkflipflop · 08/01/2010 20:29

I have a terrible fear/anxiety of internal exams, I know the theory, they shouldn't hurt, but they do - I find them so painful and intrusive. They last time I had one, to my utter embarassment I burst into tears (I am 30 for goodness sake)

OH and I are hoping to try for a baby in the next 6 months, but the thought of being poked, prodded, internally examined is casting a real shadow over the whole thing. I really can't express, how much it fills me with dread

How few internal exams would it be possible to have during pregnancy? I know the pain thing is me, I have spoken to other close friends/mother about this and I have never met anyone who finds internal exams uncomfortable or sore.

OP posts:

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ThisBoyDraculaDrew · 08/01/2010 20:31

If you have anormal helathy pregnancy you should only have internal exams during labour, and then they come roughly every 4hrs....so if you have a nice quick labour then you could get away with just 1 or 2....

But think positive. A new baby has to be worth a couple of internal exams - no matter how painful?

thisisyesterday · 08/01/2010 20:32

you don't have to have any

in fact, i didn't have any during pregnancy with any of my children, except for my last one (when i had a sweep)
I had lots during my first labour, I had one in my second labour, and I had none for the third

i too find them very painful

AmazingBouncingFerret · 08/01/2010 20:33

The only time I had an internal exam during pregnancy was because I was having painful cramps during the first trimester so went to an out of hours GP, hopefully that wont happen to you. The other time was when I was actually in labour and didnt give a toss what was going on aslong as the baby came healthy and the pain went away soon!!
Im under the impression that they arnt the norm...

truthisinthewine · 08/01/2010 20:34

You don't HAVE to have any if you don't want to. I had none during either of my pregnancies, they aren't routine during a normal pregnancy to have internal exams.

I did have them during labour but I was asked every single time if I was happy (I was) and the reason for the exam. I could have declined if I wanted. They are usually used to assess cervical dilation, most good midwives would be able to get a good idea of what stage a women in labour is at just by observing her behaviour.

Please don't let this cast a shadow over a exciting time in your lives, when you do get pregnant make sure you tell your midwife your fears, she will be able to write on your notes about it for you.

BertieBotts · 08/01/2010 20:37

I hate internal exams too, the kind done with a speculum make me cry and I get so anxious I can nearly black out. I am slightly better if they are just done by hand but I do get very nervous and tend to "clamp up" a bit

You don't have that many in pregnancy though - I think I had a one which was just done with fingers, so not as bad, and one in suspected early labour which was done with a speculum (I nearly fainted ) - but that was only because I thought my waters had gone, and wasn't having contractions, and they wanted to check, it isn't a standard check they do.

They do internal exams during labour but - honestly - I hardly noticed them at that point.

Blu · 08/01/2010 20:38

I had no internal exams during pg at all, and only one during labour, I think.

They are certainly intrusive, but, you know, it's just another part of your body, and DRs and midwives are interested in health matters only.

Would it help if the staff were all female? because it is 100% possible to go through pg and birth and not set eyes on a male medical person.

Is there anything that has given you anxiety over this, do you think?

BertieBotts · 08/01/2010 20:39

Oh and the midwife was lovely about it when I nearly fainted, I was quite embarrassed and thought she'd say something like "Well if you can't cope with that, how do you expect to give birth?" but she was really understanding.

ShowOfHands · 08/01/2010 20:39

I had none during pregnancy. You generally don't need them in a healthy pregnancy.

I had a few in labour as dd was very stuck and intervention was needed. I despise internals but at that point after 28hrs of labour, I just wanted it over.

Lulumama · 08/01/2010 20:40

is there something that has happened in the past that has made you so anxious? some trauma or assault? is it 'just' a phobia?

you will need fewer internals than you thikn,a nd you can refuse them all

for most women, in a normal pregnancy, an internal will be offered at around 41 weeks, and then approximately every 4 hours in labour.

however, you can decline any or all

you might want to look into hypnobirthing, to help you relax, ans being tense and clenched is not going to help labour progress, which makes more intervention necessary

you might alos find that in the htroes of labour you are more able to cope/care less about being given an internal

you can also ask a `MW or doc to stop at anytime during the internall

ensure your buirth partners are fully aware of this issue too

CMOTdibbler · 08/01/2010 20:41

I had none during pregnancy, and two in labour. But if it really worries you, then you could always decline them.

NickeeS · 08/01/2010 20:42

I didn't have any at all.

nickytwotimes · 08/01/2010 20:43

I am pg with number 2 and have had no internal exams with this pg or with ds1.

The only time anyone went near my fanjo was during labour to see how dilated I was and honestly, if they hadn't told me I wouldn't have known I was so out of it! Btw, I was sexually abused as a kid and am very uptight about these things, so don't let it put you off. Loads of us get through it. You can too. DO not be afraid to confess your fears to the mw/doc. You'd be surprused how many of them are really terrified too.

Good luck.

Original poster

Pinkflipflop · 08/01/2010 20:44

Thanks for all the helpful replies so far. I am feeling worried that people would be dismissive and tell me to get a grip, like BertieBotts sais, if you get cope with this how will you have a baby?

Think my fear comes from a very traumatic first smear test, had no idea it was going to happen (I was a very young 17 year old) and was just ordered to have one with my GP - TMI - but I wasn't sexually active and the burning pain was horrific.

Sorry again for TMI

OP posts:

Lulumama · 08/01/2010 20:46

ah, so there is a reason for your fear, i totally understand.

i would really look into hypnobirthing nad use the breathing and relaxation techniques anyway

you can make it v v v v clear that you need inernals to be fully explained to you, taht they must be done after a full explanatioan an dyou must gfive express consent each time to each one and you can ask any MW or doc to stop at any time.

it iwll be ok

Niecie · 08/01/2010 20:47

I had one in the course of 2 pregnancies and that one was when I was in labour with DS1. Honestly, once you are in labour it is unlikely you will care quite so much about internals. You will have other things on your mind.

Didn't have any with DS2.

It is amazing how being pregnant can get you through things you wouldn't normally be able to cope with. I was really scared of the idea of having blood taken. I had it done once before having children and it scared me to death and I nearly passed out. However, after 2 pregnancies I wouldn't say I like having them done but they don't bother me at all. One of my friends was similar.

I think maybe you will find the strength to deal with it when you are pregnant because you have to.

Maybe you could try doing what I was told to do when having a blood test - keep talking. Difficult to hyperventalate when you are talking and distracted. It worked and I do it when having smears and things and it does help.

moomaa · 08/01/2010 20:49

I had none during pregnancy 1, one sweep during pregnancy 2, that was my choice to agree to have it. I also don't like them. I had a couple during labour 1 but didn't care because I wanted to know what they thought was going on. Labour 2, the midwife asked if she could do one and I shouted loudly in a very bratish way 'NO, I don't want you to!' and she just said ok. DD popped out shortly after. Maybe she did the telling how far you are along my your behaviour thing there

MamaLazarou · 08/01/2010 20:51

38 wks and no-one's looked up my frock yet.

mama2moo · 08/01/2010 20:55

Never had one with dd and havent with this one - Currently 37 weeks pg.

I cant even remember having one when I was in labour with dd thanks to the gas and air.

They arent necessary IMO until you are in labour, even then you dont really need them. I didnt have one at all until I was fully dilated I knew I needed to push and that was that.

tobago04 · 08/01/2010 21:05

I only had one while in labour with dd1,i suffered from vestibulitis[think thats how you spell it]which they found out i had after numerous and painful internals,so i know how you feel,
the midwife was very understanding and said she would't do another one as i found it so uncomfortable,
just explain your concerns when you come to that bridge,
Sorry you had such a horrible experience and good luck with ttc x

BertieBotts · 08/01/2010 22:32

Oh no, I hope you didn't take my post the wrong way I said that was what I was worried about - but honestly it was fine, fear of internals is quite common, the midwives didn't mind at all, and I coped with labour quite well, it's just things going in I can't seem to cope with - it was fine coming out!

katiemamam · 08/01/2010 22:36

Hey Pinkflipflop

Just had an internal exam today - am 6wks+4 - and because I'd been experiencing some pain my GP suggested (told me) to go and get a scan.

This is my second baby - with my DS I had a number of internals because they thought it was ectopic.

I think the internal exams in the first two months of my first pregnancy were hard for me for several reasons: I was very scared about losing the baby; the doctor who was doing the exam didn't talk to me or my husband at all which freaked us both out; and I was so tense that the poor bloke had a hard time trying to ... ahem... access my internal areas !

So today, I told myself to relax, which was easy enough since the staff nurse and nursing student were lovely and very reassuring. They talked me through everything and even seemed to have a sense of humour. It's true!

It wouldn't be on my list of top ten things to do on a Friday, but I know that the medical staff would only want to do an internal if it was really important.

This probably doesn't help too much - no matter how supportive my DH was, it was still a bit nerve racking going in. At least I didn't have to give blood. Now there's a whole other story....

But rest assured, no one internally examined me from about the second month of my first pregnancy, and I can't see anyone desperate to have another go with this one. Relax!!

katiemamam · 08/01/2010 22:37

sorry - that's an awfully long post...

MummyElk · 09/01/2010 19:43

helllooo
Am on second pg, haven't had any internal exams for my two pgs at all. During my labour last time, I did of course have a couple of internals but agree with what others have said

you may not be so bothered during labour about internals, you do have quite a lot of other things on your mind . There is also pain relief available during labour - so whilst you've probably never been offered G&A for your previous internals, you could definitely request it...
lulumama makes a good point about hypobirthing. Definitely worth a thought. The breathing techniques etc would help you centralise yourself and focus.
once you are pg maybe talk to your GP about your concerns here - unless you have any problems early on you shouldn't need an internal at all - but he/she should be able to offer you options if you need to have one.

The joy of having a baby of your own gazing up at you with those big eyes is definitely worth it, I promise. You'll be a great mum

IckleJess · 09/01/2010 20:55

I'm on my 4th pregnancy and I haven't had a single internal during pregnancy with any of them.

I did have them during my 1st 2 labours to check how dilated I was and I found it a positive thing as I was keen to know how far I was progressing. You can always suck on plenty of gas and air to keep your mind off it.

During my last labour, a home birth, I told the MW not to bother doing an internal, I knew from recent smears that my cervix had become very difficult to find and she said that was fine and that there were other signs she could look out for to know when I was fully dilated.

BexieID · 09/01/2010 21:22

I had none with Tom, and by the time I got examined at hospital whilst I was in labour, his head was already there!

However, with Erin 18 days ago, my waters broke but was just a trickle. I got examined at the hospital a few hours later as had an appt anyway. Midwife asked if i'd had a smear before as it was quite like having one (it was much less painfull than a smear) but her bringing along a torch to see 'up there' may have lightened the mood somewhat. DP thought it was hilarious. Midwife just said 'well it is dark up there' .

The worst internal was that night whilst I was in the middle of a contraction! Midwife said to me whilst she had her hand up there 'have you quite finished!'

I had 2 in labour suite which were a breeze. The 2hour delivery of the placenta wasn't however.

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