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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Internal exams during pregnancy - so scared:(

34 replies

Pinkflipflop · 08/01/2010 20:29

I have a terrible fear/anxiety of internal exams, I know the theory, they shouldn't hurt, but they do - I find them so painful and intrusive. They last time I had one, to my utter embarassment I burst into tears (I am 30 for goodness sake)

OH and I are hoping to try for a baby in the next 6 months, but the thought of being poked, prodded, internally examined is casting a real shadow over the whole thing. I really can't express, how much it fills me with dread

How few internal exams would it be possible to have during pregnancy? I know the pain thing is me, I have spoken to other close friends/mother about this and I have never met anyone who finds internal exams uncomfortable or sore.

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MumNWLondon · 09/01/2010 21:34

I understand internals are not nice!

During my pregnancy with DS I had no internal examinations at all at any stage. It isn't normal practice to ahve them during pregnancy unless there is a problem although some people like to have a sweep if overdue but this is personal choice and you don't have to. Personally I don't really mind, but I wouldn't opt to have one I didn't need.

I did not have any internal checks even in labour with my DS - I gave birth in a birth centre and midwife said no need if all going smoothly - as others signs midwife can look for to check progression. Actually in my first birth with DD they did do internal and told me fully dilated to could push - pushed for 3 hours.... even though didn't feel like it. In 2nd labour, no internals, they said just go with flow, and I pushed when I felt like it - and then only for 10 mins - I know it was going to be easier 2nd time round but think that the internal in first labour was unhelpful....

Midwife did look afterward to check I didn't tear but this was not internal - just looked externally down there - this was the only time in the whole pregnancy that anyone looked at my bits (I promise) - as I gave birth in a pool NO ONE saw anything during the labour!

If you have a more medicalised birth though doctors like to be in control, and internals during birth more likely.

barkfox · 10/01/2010 01:19

Hi Pinkflipflop -

I'm very sorry you had a traumatic experience - I just wanted to say, FWIW, I think you are being brave in voicing your anxieties and asking questions.

There's a real difference between being a bit uncomfy about internals and being very scared of them. I think anyone who is dismissive of your fears is just someone who doesn't understand that difference. It's like someone who doesn't 'get' depression thinking a sufferer just needs to buck up a bit, or pull themselves together etc. With deep fears and phobias, anything that makes you feel ashamed or isolated of course just makes it all worse.

I don't think people mean to be unkind, although it can be very bruising - it's just they don't have that perspective.

I hope it's reassuring to read responses from women who have been firm and assertive about what they did/didn't want in terms of internals during pregnancy. I'm afraid I can't help much cos I'm early on in my first. I guess all I'm saying is that your fears are real, you are brave to acknowledge them, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure you will find the strength to move forward in the way that's best for you.

StarlightMcKenzie · 10/01/2010 01:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tobemom · 13/09/2012 16:47

It was a relief to see this blog,that I am not the only soul who faces this.Pinkflipflop I am probably more scared than you .I can never go through an internal examination.During my first pregnancy they tried when I was in labor but I cried and kicked the doctor,since it was a C section I was immediately taken and operated.Now I am 34 and want to plan for my second child but I am so scared of this that I am not sure.Please advise can we say no to an internal examination whatsoever ?Isn't a pap smear mandatory ?pleaseeee advise

RedBlanket · 13/09/2012 16:57

I Only had one and that was because I was bleeding. Tbh I was so terrified something was wrong I would have agreed to anything.

I had a c section, I'd no idea what was going on as I was numb and Spaced out on drugs.

louisdog · 13/09/2012 17:01

I have similar issues and hoped to avoid any internals except during labour and hopefully having had some pain relief but my waters broke and no contractions so I had the whole rigmarole of induction.

I explained my issues to the midwives and they talked to a female obstetrician who then came to do my first exam and suggested I use gas and air. This made a huge difference and meant I was able to tolerate them, maybe you can ask to use gas and air too? Also the midwives were really understanding too which helped - I had thought they might be a bit dismissive.

DueInSeptember · 13/09/2012 18:12

I've got a fairly big fear of them too.

With my 1st baby, I had one at 15 weeks because I had a bit of bleeding. A female doctor did it and it was very quick, just a look to see if everything was ok. In some ways it was ok, just becasue I was worried about the baby.

I had no others and had a C-section, so none there either. Am 38 weeks now with baby No.2 and have had none this time and booked in for C-section too.

Kafri · 14/09/2012 23:06

Hey,
I just kinda got used to it if I'm honest. I had abnormal cells at my first smear, followed by another 2 smears to check, 2x colposcopy to determine CIN and then lletz under general. Then after having various internals to check ovaries from being 15 and all the tests that go before and during IVF I'm guessing there are few people in my PCT who haven't seen my bits.
Some have been more uncomfortable than others but I just think to myself 'it's all worth it to be getting the chance to be a mum'. I'm 26 weeks today and looking forward to my Xmas bundle of joy and quite honestly-they can do whatever they need to to get bubs here safely.
X

Jakeyblueblue · 15/09/2012 00:47

I'm a nurse but did midwifery training earlier in my career and I was present at a birth where a lady refused internal examinations for similar reasons. I believe there are also some religions which do not allow it. It's wasn't ideal and it did mean the midwife was in the dark slightly, but it was actually fine. The midwife just used other clues to determine what stage she was at and followed the ladies wishes.
I'd perhaps seek some help to see if you can overcome it but if you cant, don't worry. Just refuse. Def don't let it stand in the way of ttc

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