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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Are there any pregnancy books that won't insult my intelligence?

84 replies

Petsville · 16/12/2009 23:51

I've just found out that I'm 5 weeks pregnant. I want one reference book that I can use to check facts (particularly things like levels of risk with eating different foods, what test results mean, glossary of things that might go wrong, all that kind of stuff). I don't want some clown telling me about my emotional state and suggesting that I change my surname to my husband's - I know what my emotional state is, thank you, and I'm not changing my name just so that a hypothetical future school has a slightly easier life. I asked my GP last time round and she hadn't got any suggestions (no children of her own) but she didn't hold out much hope as she reckons they're all written for the lowest common denominator. Has anyone found anything that's any good? Everything I've looked at is so appallingly patronising I want to fling it out of the window!

Sorry this post looks really grumpy - I'm afraid it isn't pregnancy hormones, I'm always like that!

OP posts:
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MavisEnderby · 16/12/2009 23:52

The MUMSNET GUIDE TO PREGNANCY [WINK]

TimothyTigerTuppennyTail · 16/12/2009 23:52

None.

Sorry.

_

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 16/12/2009 23:55

why not just look at the book your MW gives to you?
Or seeing as you're an internet user, you could look on patient.co.uk at their pregnancy info. They have factsheets on pretty much every aspect. Saves wasting money on a book that will only be used for a few months.

Original poster
Petsville · 17/12/2009 00:08

Thanks, Display - I see what you're saying but I do like books. And it's easier to check something quickly in the index of a book than to switch on the computer and search for it.

I suspect whatever the MW gives me is going to be patronage squared and I'd be better off not looking at it at all. I really can't cope with being treated like a moron (I know, I know, I should get used to it because it's going to happen a lot in the next 18 years).

OP posts:
displayuntiltwelfthnight · 17/12/2009 00:09

why exactly are you expecting to be treated like a moron? Have I missed something? Or will I regret asking?

teletubby7777 · 17/12/2009 00:14

Well I presume you have tried "what to expect when you're expecting" as it's usually the first reference book on the shelf.

If that didn't appeal (and it doesn't to many), I might try: "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" by, Lesley Regan. She is a Professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at St. Mary's in London and runs the leading miscarriage clinic in Europe. She is very accomplished and her book offers a fountain of knowledge on everything pregnancy-related without being wishywashy and patronising. She makes it clear in her forward that the book is meant to offer straight-forward information without being prescriptive. I've found it to be an invaluable resource....

I hope that helps!

JustAnotherManicMummy · 17/12/2009 00:16

Just click on the pregnancy link at the top of the page and sign up to the August pregnancy thread.

Don't bother with a book.

Congratulations!

Petsville · 17/12/2009 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Petsville · 17/12/2009 00:27

Thanks, JAMM!

OP posts:
YanknChristmasCrackers · 17/12/2009 00:28

I ended up borrowing a lot from the library, so at least if they turned out to be annoying/patronising, I hadn't paid for them.

The Miriam Stoppard one will just make you feel rotten, so leave it alone.

WTEWYE can be alright just to look up information (good index), but take it in small doses and only read what's relevant. You will most likely be heartily annoyed by their tone.

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 17/12/2009 00:30

your comment "they're all written for the lowest common denominator" did make me think you had more issues than your OP revealed

I doubt you will find any book with more medical jargon in the general marketplace which is why I directed you to the patient.co.uk website which is used as a reference for many a medical professional. If you are looking for specific information relating to your personal circumstances then I expect you will have to wait until you are further on in your pregnancy.
As for the boss, no point taking any notice of throw away comments such as that IMO.

Original poster
Petsville · 17/12/2009 00:37

Yank and Teletubby, that's really helpful, thanks. I'll avoid Miriam Stoppard!

Display - the "lowest common denominator" line was my GP rather than me. Possibly she has issues too, who knows.

OP posts:
teletubby7777 · 17/12/2009 00:44

Petsville -- so sorry to hear of your experience.

here is a link to Lesley Regan's book on Amazon, along with all the reviews.

www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Pregnancy-Week-Lesley-Regan/dp/0751336823

I wish you the best of luck in this pregnancy.

AmIReallySayingThis · 17/12/2009 00:47

Hello grumpy pants.

I have "Expecting" by Anna McGrail and Daphne Metland. RRP £12.99 but I got mine second hand on Amazon. It's great, very informative with a section for each week and lots of references notes at the back. I haven't found it patronising at all (also have the Miriam Stoppard one and, yes, I don't think it would be for you!). It's paperback so I can comfortably read it in bed - I didn't fancy those beautiful coffee table style ones, they seemed to be mostly full of fancy photos. It doesn't have many pictures (a few diagrams) so definitely has more of a reference book feel should appeal to you. I'd definitely recommend it.

I know the early weeks are tough, especially if you have a difficult history. Fingers crossed for you.

Squarepig · 17/12/2009 09:02

I'm thirding the Lesley Regan book, which I didn't find it patronising at all, but calm and factual.

Look in second-hand bookshops as well - I got my copy for a third of the shelf price.

bigpreggybelly · 17/12/2009 09:32

"What to expect when you're expecting" is comprehensive and informative. I don't think its Noddyish.

Kayzr · 17/12/2009 09:35

I have Pregnancy for Dummies. It is really good and explains things really well. I looked at some others but they seemed to focus more on my emotions rather than what was happening physically.

HeffaMerryChristmas · 17/12/2009 09:37

I liked Lesley Regan's book too. Like Squarepig, I found it very calm and factual.

StarExpat · 17/12/2009 09:39

any factual week by week or month by month pregnancy book. And just ignore the stuff you don't want to hear if you don't want any emotional information...etc. Simple as that. Just read the factual stuff. The author can't "insult" you if you just skip over or ignore it!
Lots of great stuff online... but, like with everything, there's going to be stuff some people don't like, you can't please everyone. So just take in what's helpful...
That's my suggestion...

Fibilou · 17/12/2009 09:42

I haven't read any pregnancy books because, like you, I loathe being patronised and being told how I feel.

I have just read information on the internet from reputable sources. And you have several months - so believe me you won't need to find anything quickly !

Bucharest · 17/12/2009 09:44

Kaz Cooke will make you laugh as well as informing you.

Miriam Stoppard is an A grade nutter. Makes GF look reasoned.

Walnut8 · 17/12/2009 09:46

I hate being treated like an idiot too but did find "What to expect..." useful. As someone else said, it is a good reference book, with a good index - just look up what you need to know.

Walnut8 · 17/12/2009 09:49

I've also read most of the Kaz one and it's quite funny - not as much info as "What to Expect" though.

My mother bought me the Miriam Stoppard ... I loved the section on what sort of makeup to wear when you're pregnant (wtf?)

butadream · 17/12/2009 09:50

I understand your frustration but to be honest on the being patronised front it's "welcome to motherhood!"

I don't mean to sound arrogant but I have spent 10 years building up a professional career, am paid really well, work FT when not on mat leave, am used to managing and training other people etc. BUT when I meet anyone in the context of my children e.g. HV, school, surestart, toddler group etc. it feels like they don't expect me to know or be able to do anything without their officious help, to never have had a "proper" job, to be unable to remember things, to not be working, that my DH would work longer hours and be paid more than me, to be constantly available at short notice, to answer to "mum"....

You get used to it but it has made me understand that feminism is still needed as clearly women's time and contribution to society through the family is not highly valued. At least these days it kicks off with becoming pregnant rather than on being born a girl but if we get pregnant on average at 30 years old and die, say, aged 90, that is still 2/3 of our lives as the patronised "second sex".

Alicehasamincepieintheoven · 17/12/2009 09:53

I found The Pregnancy Bible (can't remember who by - sorry) very good. DH is the one who chose it actually. He is a Vet so hates things dumbed down. It also has pictures of the foetus/baby each week which i found helped me feel a bit more connected to the whole thing. Has a glossary of common pg related illnesses, more severe complications, newborn conditions etc. Quite matter of fact.