Are there any pregnancy books that won't insult my intelligence?

[Petsville]

I've just found out that I'm 5 weeks pregnant. I want one reference book that I can use to check facts (particularly things like levels of risk with eating different foods, what test results mean, glossary of things that might go wrong, all that kind of stuff). I don't want some clown telling me about my emotional state and suggesting that I change my surname to my husband's - I know what my emotional state is, thank you, and I'm not changing my name just so that a hypothetical future school has a slightly easier life. I asked my GP last time round and she hadn't got any suggestions (no children of her own) but she didn't hold out much hope as she reckons they're all written for the lowest common denominator. Has anyone found anything that's any good? Everything I've looked at is so appallingly patronising I want to fling it out of the window!

Sorry this post looks really grumpy - I'm afraid it isn't pregnancy hormones, I'm always like that!

Don't read Lesley Regan, she's the one who tells you to change your name!

I haven't read Penelope Leach's pregnancy book, but her Baby and Child is excellent, imo.

Birth and Beyond

I second Birth and Beyond, really really good. Do not read this, dunno if it was my hormones but it made me want to punch her in the head.

And I'm a pacifist.

I haven't found the perfect pregnancy book, I have to admit. I've just tried to ignore the patronising tone of most of them (...and yes, I'm a 35-year-old adult, and I know what constitutes a healthy diet!! FFS Miriam Stoppard, do you really believe that potatoes are one of the most nutritious foodstuffs one can eat in pregnancy?!)

I would just recommend not buying anything with photos written more than 10 years ago, as all the lovely images of women in dungarees/ big flowery smocks will depress you utterly...Honestly, would it not just have been easier to hang a big sign around one's neck saying "NO LONGER A SEXUAL BEING?"

However, I would third (or fourth) "Misconceptions" by Naomi Wolfe, and also "Making Babies" by Anne Enright- neither of them pregnancy manuals, but definitely both having the tone I think you're looking for!

...and big up the grumpy massive, that's what I say.

I found that the books the mw gave me were written for people who were sharing a brain cell. The book I found the most useful was "How to Have a Baby and Still Live in the Real World" by an American woman, can't remember her name.

Not manuals as such, but there are some brilliant books about pregnancy, misconceptions (as others have said) is a key one. I also enjoyed one called "breeders" which I think I ordered through amazon from america. Also try "what mothers do" and "a life's work". I can't rememeber the rest, but will have a search through my bookshelves and post on here.

I liked "Up The Duff" by Kaz Cooke, which I then followed with "Kid Wrangling" by the same author - these are quite Australia specific though when talking about resources/medical care available.

Ooh yes, definitely Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf. Like others have said, not for information, but to inspire you to do your own research and combat the patronising-ness (is that a word?) of HCPs.

I second what bintofbohemia said....the lady in Best Friend's guide to pregnancy will make you want to punch people.

lowrib, as an American living in the UK, I found What to Expect laughably inaccurate in places as well. I could see exactly where they had just switched a few phrases around for the UK market. They really didn't do a very good job researching the intricacies of giving birth on the NHS did they?

Eeek - it seems there are 2 out there with the words "week by week" in the title.

This is the one I have www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-Week-week-Hamlyn-Health/dp/0600610349/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261 072018&sr=8-1 and I'm very, very happy with it.

For a very amusing read try The Best Friends Guide to Pregnancy...which has me laughing and is providing good information at the same time.

although it seems that it made someone want to punch her in the head....but then I think the point is that we all experience different things during pregnancy! I must say i'm finding nothing in week by week books that I haven't found on the web.

If you get what to expect, whatever you do dont sign up for the daily emails, they are not converted for the UK market and are very patronising at times.

I also give a vote for the Yeudi Gordon birth and beyond one. Its an a-Z guide so good for reference.

Dont rule out turning into a marshmellow hormonal wreck though, I have surprised byself by reading things that I never thought I would go for such as the ina may book!

In addition to what angfirsttimer says, whatever you do, don't join their website forums unless you want to be subjected to "High School Seniors TTC" banners!

A pregnancy book that won't insult your intelligence?

Sorry my dear, you are out of luck.

However I can thoroughly recommend WTEWYAE as a jolly good set of fire lighters.

Actually "Misconceptions" by Naomi Wolk is excellent, though not a pregnancy manual. Thank you God for not making me live in the US.

Didn't rate the Mumsnet one.

Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to post - very grateful for all the suggestions. I haven't been able to come back to this till now as I can't post from work. Thanks also for the reassurance that it's not all in my head and other people are enraged by this too!

I read Misconceptions last year (The Beauty Myth came out when I was at university and Naomi Wolf was a young academic, so I was interested in seeing what she had to say about the next phase) and found it interesting, not to mention horrifying, though the specifics are obviously American. I've also got How Not to be a Perfect Mother and Making Babies, and I'll look at some of the other recommendations - I had thought of the library, but our local library has virtually nothing on pregnancy - don't know why not, they're not generally useless.

I will allow for the possibility that I might become a hormonal marshmallow, but I think it would be foolish to count on it.

Petsville I thought I wouldn't be "one of those women". I've cried more in the last 48 hours than in the last 48 months.

My problem Petsville is that I can be a hormonal marshmallow one moment and a grumpy bitch with a short temper for stupid people the next.

Pregnancy is fun.

I liked the Lesley Regan one. I borrowed it from a friend when I was having my 3rd, and kind of wish I owned it (I find it brings back memories looking at pregnancy books, as I recall just how I felt at the time when I read that bit etc). But DH would probably soil himself if I bought a copy now DS2 is 2. Oh well.

My only real complaint is that throughout the book there is a picture of a very beautiful young woman as she progresses through her pregnancy . I do SO wish they had included a postnatal picture of her too: cracked nipples, saggy belly, bags under the eyes etc. That would have definitely been included had I been the editor.

The What to Expect series is good - I have to admit that I didn't invest in the first one but I have the First Year and Toddler books, and they are great - full of questions that you never thought you'd have to ask but at some point you do. Miriam Stoppard is a bit too "earth mother" for my liking, the Best Friend's Guide is funny but not particularly factual IMHO, and the one that comes from the midwife really DOES cater for the lowest common denominator.

I like the Best Friend's Guide to Pregnancy too - it's funny and very honest, though like many others, adapted from the US version. Also loved Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. These are both "warts and all" funny confessional-type guides though - great and very helpful, but not exhaustive on the medical detail. For that I use "What To Expect" but the bad UK adaptation does annoy me.

I have noticed though that different books that are supposed to be authoritative will completely contradict each other on quite important medical matters that you need answers to. For that reason if you really want to know about something from all angles and get the latest advice, I think it's better to combine some wise googling (ie look for medical and govt/health type sites, and watch out for conspiracy theories etc) with asking on MN where you will get first-hand accounts.

If you really want to see just how patronising it can get, those pregnancy and baby magazines you can get take the cake I think.

birth and beyond by yehudi gordon et al. can get a bit trying if complementary therapies aren't your thing but not moronic in the slightest.