What's having 3DC like ?

[DefNotYummyMummy]

I have a ds1 (3.5 yrs) and dd1 (15 months) and now I am 6 weeks pregnant with another. I am 37 years old and feeling every bit of it. Morning sickness is killing me already, but I still have time to ponder about what will life be like with 3 ?

How do you give them everything they need, or does someone always lose out ?

DS is brilliant with DD and they play brilliantly together and are very affectionate towards eachother (which I am sure will change in due course !).

DS will be 4 and DD will be 2 when the next one arrives.

Just wondering about your experiences. DS will just start school as well as he is an August baby.

What a silly time for a condom to break !

We are happy, but nervous. Must get my tubes tied after this one as I am shattered already and it was bliss as DD and DS sleep so well once I weaned them at a year. Can't believe I am doing this again.

Congratulations

I can't say what it's like parenting with 3 kddies as I'm only just pregnant with #1. However, I'm one of 6 children (think my parent's just really liked babies!) and I can honestly say I never felt I lacked attention or didn't have everythingI needed, and plenty more besides. Now I'm older I realise just what sacrifices my parents had to make, not only to finance all us children, but also the time commitments, driving us all to clubs and rehearsals and what not. They both say they don't regret it at all and it was all worth it, and hey, 3 is not as many as 6! I love being part of a big family and I can't imagine my DH and I sticking at 2 (though 6 is definately out, I'm not as mad as my parents). I'm sure you'll eb able to give 3 children all the love and attention they need no problems, and I have no doubt your DCs will love having another sibling, not just now, but when they're grown up to.

it is afantastic rolleercoaster which gets easier as teh youngest gets older

i am similarly pregnasised - with DD (2.5) and Ds(11mo) but i am hoping that once they all stop being babies, they'll run around like a little herd, like i did as a kid with my siblings.

It's just the being babies bit that's going to be sucky...

(notes there may be mothers of 3 or more laughing hollowly to themselve right now)

It is hard work with a baby and 2 other littlies. Mine were 3.5 and 1.5 when no 3 was born and it was hard physically, emotionally and mentally, really until no 3 was 2 years, although it started to get a easier from when she was 6 months.

Now (aged 7, 5 and rising 4) they play together so beautifully, like a real team and in many ways I think it would be harder work if there were less of them - I never have to entertain them. They're also increasingly better about giving each other some space with hubbie & me so they do seem to get a balance of magical childhood games together plus time to read or chat or garden or whatever one-on-one. By this age it is fab - I love it - and it is well worth the early years. So much so that no 4 is due in March!! (OMG)

Congratulations!

Mine are 10, 4 and 2.
It's bloody hard at times (the two youngest are poorly right now and are taking turns to wake me up all night!) , but wonderful when they all play together.

We have 3.

So so different having 3 than two.

Good luck, lower your standards, get yourself aquainted with food shopping deliveries.

Mine are 4.0, 2.4, and 0.8, and I still have time to post on MN, so can't be that bad! DD1 has SN so it feels like they are 2.4, 2.4 and 0.8! It is starting to get a bit easier now that DD3 is eating and going longer between BFs.

For me, good. Mine are now 7 (g), 16 (b) & almost 18 (b).

DS1 & 2 are 18 mo apart and fight like, well, brothers. Not so bad nowadays actually but up until about 18 mo ago they were at each others throats pretty much constantly [exhausted emoticon required]. However, they both adore DD, their little sister.

For me 3 is no harder than 2 but that could be an age thing as DS1 was 10 and DS2 was 8 when DD was born. I suspect I'd have found it much harder if they had all been closer in age.

It's much easier to go from 2 DCs to 3 than from 1 DC to 2, ime, but DC3 was a very charming baby. (DC4 was not, but DC5 was great so I quit while I was ahead...) Whatever juggling you've got used to with two just gets extended with 3.

The hardest time with children is when they're all young (under 7) and need you and DH for everything, can't be left to fend for themselves even for a few minutes, and have no common sense. It's like herding cats all day most days. Lower your standards, as Fab says, and make sure you and your DH are on the same page about this. However hard it is just from a logistical standpoint, with 3 DCs, it's much worse if you and DH don't have the same expectations of how life will be. On the other hand, they play well together and occupy each other, and it's so nice to see them engaged in something while I get on with whatever needs doing. I think if there were fewer of them, I would end up providing a lot more entertainment, friends over, etc.

They do all play together, at least until the age of ten or so, and an oldest child usually makes a great entertainer for younger children. Important to make sure the oldest gets plenty of parent time, though. After the baby days, the next worst time is when they all hit puberty. Your DS and DD may well be going through this at the same time. You'll have about 8 years before adding an extra bathroom or two.

Going from 2 to 3 was sooooo much harder for us.

I am freaked out - are you me?!

DS (3.5) is very affectionate with DD (15 months) and I am 5 ish weeks pregnant with number 3.

Morning sickness already killing me? Yes.

DS going to school next year - July baby.

We can go mad together

I love it! My first two were very close and I worried about how it would be, but apart from some of the minor practical difficulties, I just love having 3. So much so that I want number 4! It was so easy for me going from 2 to 3.

I think that the degree of difficulty depends on the child themselves. I landed the cutest and sweetest baby on earth, he is now 20 months and I love seeing the three of tmy children interacting together.

great advice here

yes its hard work and the dynamic is totally different with 3

you asked " How do you give them everything they need, or does someone always lose out ?"

you can't give them everything - that's why we are telling you to lower your standards

OTOH they will have the wonderful gift of siblings, they lose out a bit on parental attention but have ready made play mates ( when they are not knocking the sh!t out of each other)

remember that our siblings are the longest relationship we have in life. even if they are not best friends all the time in childhood they may be very close later on

Hi there
Don't have any advice yet but thought I'd say hello - I have 2 DSs 4 and 2 and due with DC3 in June. Like yours DS1 and 2 play well together most of the time so I'm hoping that'll make it a bit easier than going from 1 to 2 (am also imagining hollow laughs from those who know better..)

I think lots of us have the same thoughts as OP on finding out that no3 is on the way. It's knackering but wonderful. My ds1 was a month off 5yo and ds2 was 2yrs 3mo when dd arrived. Having a little sister has made ds1 a much more caring sharing person, and the younger two are so close in age, similar to yours, that they play really well together and it's lovely. The three of them are noisy and crazy but it's fab. Need masses of routines, particularly for getting them all out in the morning, now all three have to be out in uniform with bags etc, and bedtime is quite an organised operation as well but it's natural and easy to everyone once the habits and routines are there. They are now 4, 6 and almost 9, and life is easier than it was. Yes the first couple of years are hard work, but doing all three in under 5 years is honestly a perfectly good way to do it, basically you've always had a tot around and the adjustments from 2 to 3 are way way smaller than those from 1 dc to 2. Try not to panic, and enjoy as much as you can. It flies. I was 35 and felt ancient - but tbh I think it is the factor of having three relatively close together rather than our actual age iyswim. Get the vitamins out and every bit of rest you can get it's well worth it.

It's so lovely to get so much advice and hear positive feedback on having lots of kiddies. Thanks for the lovely feedback, it is helping me think towards what our life will be like soon (God willing !)

Will we need a new car ? Are foreign holidays a thing of the past ? Will this third child get anything brand new ? Where the hell am I going to put this one in the house ? Sharing is good....

Yes, lots of questions, I ask myself.

Peppapighastakenovermylife - you ARE me !
Just wishing my life away to get past this nausea. I have a scan on Tuesday - hopefully heartbeat will be there.

Dreading Monday - trying to get DS off to nursery, and DD off to childminder and me off to work !

Thanks again girls. This site has such a great following.

Hello, I'm watching this thread with interest.

I am 10 weeks pregnant with dc3, I have 2 dds (3.8 & 2.6), and will be 41 when dc3 arrives!

We really wanted 3 children, and knew, because of my age they would have to be close together - but I still felt like I had been hit by a train when i found out I was pregnant!

I think I had forgotten just how knackering early pregnancy is, and with having to take dd1 to preschool and entertain dd2 I have been feeling pretty crap.

I worked out that next year I will be walking to and from school 6 times a day (dd1 will be starting primary, dd2 starting preschool)-and I don't drive (I am an idiot). I suppose at least i will be able to walk off the huge amounts of baby weight I will inevitabely put on.

DNYM - nothing is 'gone' or 'a thing of the past' - but you just do things differently. We are going abroad in 2010, again just doing it a little differently from before, and we've stayed in GB for the last 8 yrs although we have done the length and breadth of the country[ies] in that time - the north of scotland down to london, and york, norfolk, lancashire and midlands. Plenty to do, and our choice to do it that way.
And fwiw I can fit three car seats, including 1 stage 1 (2 hbb's) in the back of a toyota yaris. which is small. And a quinny pram in the boot lol. You just work with what you've got and figure it out from there!
We had some laughs when dd arrived, we thought she would spend all her life in blue clothes and people asking"what's his name" to which we would reply "well it's a girl but we've only got blue clothes" - pmsl aside, we have had lovely stuff handed on from a good friend and discovered great places to get really nice things for all three for not too much ££. Stop panicking all you folks with 2.5 kids, the third will be a delight to you

OP
I only wish I could know that.

I had 3 in 3 years, the first when 36.
It's wonderful
And sometimes terrible.
But mostly wonderful

I adore, adore, adore having 3.

They are now 6yrs, 5yrs and 22 months. It is chaotic in a good way, the house feels properly full especially when dc 1 & 2 bring playmates home from school and I thrive on it.

Found 2-3 a breeze, although being pregnant with dc3 with 2 small children was hell on legs.

Good luck

I had 3 under 3 too- DD 6 and DTs 4 now. Mostly good although out house is always noisy! They do murder each other but also do play nicely together. Very important ot try to give some individual attention too, but have to be realistic about it- you cannot do it all and you need to take care of yourself and your DP too.
I look forward to when they are grown up and have each other to rely on- that will be really wonderful. Good luck

DC3 is due in 7 weeks, DS1 will be 3.5 and DS2 will be 17 months. Unlike those mentioned earlier, DS1 and DS2 are not brilliant together. DS2 adores DS1 but DS1 is awful with DS2 - takes toys away from him all the time, pushes him, etc. I am really worried about adding another to this disfunctional mix. DS1 will go to school for half days from September (he's an August birthday). Reassurance that he will improve would be most gratefully received!

hazeyjane - I could be you, only I have boys not girls. I will be 41 a couple of weeks before DC3.