Someone please talk to me...

[memorylapse]

I think I might need counselling..help of some description...
Im 17+5 pregnant and I feel absoloutely beside myself with fear that Im going to loose this baby..so much so that its interfering with my enjoyment of the pregnancy and Im obsessing about every synptom..or lack of symptom

after I had dd2 in 2004..I fell pregnant again very quickly but sadly suffered a MMC at 16 weeks...I fell pregnant again quickly but devastatingly went into labour at 23 weeks and lost another LO..

the strain of losing two babies at that stage affected my marriage, DH and I grew apart and ended up splitting..but eventually got back together and I was chuffed to bits to find out I was pregnant again again in August this year.
However the pregnancy has been fraught with difficulty from day one..constant bleeding, a blood clot in my womb, gestational diabetes diagnosed at 15 weeks etc..
my MW has been fantastic and listens in weekly to the HB to reassure me..but each time I come away feeling elated that everything is ok..this lasts about 48 hours before the fear sets in again and I convince myself the baby has died
last week I was in hospital after thinking my waters were leaking..but a speculum exam showed no fluid at the cervix and baby's HB was fine so all was well...
however Ive not felt baby move for 2 days despite MW reassuring me that at this stage I wont always feel it everyday (I have been feeling movement ) and Im right back to convincing myself baby has died..
DH has lost his temper with me saying that Im spoiling things for him too..but today Ive been in tears convinced of the worst...and I dont really know what to do

well..havent heard back yet..its been an hour..wonder if I should ring

yes ring.

right MW has phoned back..got to pop down to the health centre and she will listen in..feel very nervous

fingers crossed ML x

back from MW..she listened in and HB was fine..144bpm..we sat and had a chat and she is going to have a word and see if it can be arranged for me to talk to someone..she said it was hardly surprising I was so anxious with my past history and the problems with this preg so far.

perfect heartbeat - so pleased x

in a few more weeks the movements will be much more frequent and that will help

glad MW is supportive and she's right - anyone who had been through what you have would be feeling uber stressed

try to get some rest for the rest of today as all that anxiety will have been exhausting

x

Hi ML,

Glad it all went ok wtih the MW, i have had similar feelings as well so your not alone! I have an anterior placenta which makes it difficult to feel the movements! When he lies transverse its lovely as i feel everything, i'm 31weeks so am hoping i start to feel more the bigger he gets.
I've been to my doctors surgery crying several times over little movement so they suggested i go for daily doppler for few weeks till i'm feelin more, they make me an early morning appt and i get 1-2 hours earlier to see if i feel him if i do i cancel if i dont they have a listen!! They say they would much rather do this than have me worry!
I said i was concerned listening every day may be harmful to him and they said don't be silly, think of all those mums who take herion!!!

glad it is good news and they are helping with your feelings.

disaster has struck..went to pick the DC'S up from school and DS2 (8) who has issues which we havent had formally diagnosed came out of school saying DH had promised him football cards..he is currently obssessed with match attack football cards and...of course I said no as we werent going to the shop where they sold them(bad move as DS has issues with change of routine and had spent the day thinking he was getting them)..he then went into meltdown pummeling my belly in a rage, screaming and shouting..DS1 was pulling him off shouting mums pregnant!..he then stormed off up the road before running back at me and hurling his school bag into my back..I then had to drive home with him angrily kicking the back of my seat in a rage.

I drove straight to the health centre and ended up in the midwives room in tears, she listened in and assured me that baby would be fine as its well protected..but Im so upset..DS has hit me for a while..so it was unexpected..phoned DH and he said he will be speaking to DS but its a waste of time as he is oblivious to what he has done...
Im absoloutely beside myself ..thinking all sorts..placenta coming away etc..

oh dear, so sorry. poor you

in the absence of bleeding and/or sharp pains and the fact the MW has heard the HB, things are probably ok

your baby is well cushioned in there, and protected by your body, please try not to panic

no pain..apart from soreness..and no bleeding..but I will phone the hospital if I get any...DS still oblivious..hasnt aplogised.....Ive never had anything like this happen when Ive been pregnant

memory I have just read through your thread and am really sorry you are feeling low, I am 22 weeks now and have only just started to feel baby move every day and that is when I lie really still!

You sound so scared that my heart goes out to you, please try to stop worrying, like lulumama has said baby is well protected in there and is only tiny, babies are hardy little things and this one has clung on despite your blood clot.........

Your midwife sounds fab and she is looking after you, I know it's expensive but is there any way you can have a private scan just to put your mind at rest?

Hopefully you won't need to phone hospital, let us know how you get on, sending you hugs xx

thanks hoops

lunaticfringe..thanks for guiding me towards the thread..have tentatively posted in there

I am not sure whether it would make you more or less anxious but think about investing in a hand held doppler? That way whenever you get anxious you can listen to the hearbeat. They have got much cheaper recently.

mumNW..thanks I did hire one but it sent me into a frenzy when I couldnt find the hb one day..so dh confiscated it

memory how are you feeling now?

feel pretty poop hoops..got backache and tummy ache from where ds hit me..but I cant see the point in going to casualty..they will probably leave me for hours then tell me there is nothing they can do

do you have an out of hours GP service? They may be able to take a quick look at you, put your mind at ease maybe?

DH wont let me ring them..he says Im over reacting..trouble is..I dont feel up to driving myself and he is refusing to drive me

rang out of hours gp..triage nurse said go straight to casualty.
phoned labour ward..sorry not our dept go to gynae ward..transferred to gynae..told sorry not our dept if you have tummy pain youve probably pulled a muscle..go to casualty but they will probably give you painkillers....Im slowly getting the feeling that this particular hospital do not give a damn about pregnant women under 20 weeks...so why the hell am I bothering to attend my ante natal appts

this isn't the first time you have been brushed off by this hospital.......you really ought to put a complaint in, this is absolutely shocking, short of begging them for help I don't know what to say sorry...

I hope you are feeling a little better today, I have been thinking about you today xx

hoops have kind of given up with gyane..went to day ass..heard hb..thats all they did as under 20 weeks..they seemed more concerned with my bp which was 90/50..but thats normal for me..wasnt allowed to leave until bp went up to 104/64

managed to stall my car waiting in traffic so again worried that the jolt and lurch forward has harmed baby..sigh..unfortunately i do seem to start getting clumsy and develop cotton wool brain around this time which renders me a health hazard

crikey, that is low, my BP was 116/69 yesterday which is normal for me too.......I have found that I'm getting a bit clumsy and forgetting what I was saying halfway through!! I think people think I'm a bit crazy

I'm not sure stalling your car would be a big enough jolt to cause any harm to baby but I understand why you are being a bit cautious, i know that it's very hard but try not to worry too much, you will end up driving yourself mad, I wish I could roll you up in bubblewrap and unwrap you when baby is due

Hope you are well x

memory there is no way a stalled car jolt would harm your baby. I have fallen down several times (as in all my weight on my bum from standing height ouch!) and baby is fine and happy. Bumps, jolts and minor falls are absolutely fine and happen so often in pregnancy to everyone! Your baby is swimming about happily completely oblivous to these movements.

Put your feet up at home with a nice cup of tea and enjoy the evening with your family.

xxxxx