Home Birth/Ina May/"Hippie" thread

[LolaAnn]

Is there a place for this? Who is considering a home birth/has had one/hated it/loved it.. come and share your stories with me.

My GP freaked when I requested it, agreed though and then proceeded to blame all the paperwork on the fact that I was having a homebirth (same paperwork had to be sent to midwives either way...)

Also any other good books other than Ina May's two?

Hi,

My third labour was a planned HB- I am lucky that have very pro-HB MWs where I live in Kent. It was a great experience. The best thing is not having to travel- so you dont have to worry about- 'is it too soon to go to hospital'. Also DP was a lot happier being at home as he doesnt like hospitals and he felt much more useful at home- making tea for MW etc! In my experience there was very little mess. I had bought some plastic sheets but never used them. I had those disposable baby changing mats which were good to put under your bottom, with an old sleeping bag over the carpet.

Would definitely have next at home... not sure there will be a next though

Thanks for starting this thread!

I'm only 20 weeks, but have been planning a home birth from the start. I conceived via IVF/ICSI, so our conception was as medicalised as can be. So I'd prefer the birth to be as non-medicalised as I can. Having said that, I'm not 100% fixated on a HB as I'm prepared to transfer to our hospital if need be (if one thing MN has taught me it's that any birth that leads to a healthy baby and mum is a good birth regardless of pain relief/location/c-section). Even if I do transfer, I like the idea of labouring at home, in calm, familiar surroundings for as long as possible...

Glasto I also was referred to a consultant for care because of the IVF, but it's really only an issue because of the risk of multiple births (and I was SO annoyed with my GP for just sending me straight to an obstetrician without telling me ). I had a chat with him, explained why I wanted a HB and that I'm not so hung up on it that I'd endanger myself or my baby (like that needs explaining ) and he's discharged me back to the care of the home birth midwifery team. Put up a fight, as you do have a choice in the whole thing!

I'm also not telling my landlord. It's our business, and we'll take all precautions about the mess.

It's interesting to read about people telling/not telling. I've been telling (especially as my MIL had 3 HBs, including my DH, back in the 70s, the lovely aging hippie that she is so for my in-laws this is all very uncontroversial) and have been quite shocked at some of the negative responses. My own mother is very anti, so I'm just not talking to her about it anymore . In fairness, in Ireland (where I'm from originally), things are much more medicalised as a standard than the NHS and my mother had the full gamut from 2 natural births through to vaginal breech birth to placenta praevia with hamoraghing (sp?) with an emergency section and two planned sections. So I tip my head to her superior knowledge but I'm still hoping for and planning a home birth.

Oh and I'm a very big Ina May fan. I also like Stand and Deliver.

Love your post, Caitni. So sorry that you can't share this with your mother, though, but thank goodness for your MIL. I have a feeling my IL's will be more conservative about things, but am hoping to be surprised.

I am so buoyed up today by all you amazing, positive women. I went from sheer terror at the thought of labour (at the start of my preg) to total confidence in my body's ability to do it. Despite giving birth in hosp and having a 3rd deg tear, I found labour the most amazing experience and am looking forward to my body showing me how amazing it is yet again.

MMH that's such a lovely way you've described your body's amazing capacity. It's such a wonderful thing we've been designed to do

I also didn't want to tell people I was planning a home birth because I didn't want anyone thinking I had 'failed' if it hadn't happened. I certainly didn't want to hear anyone saying 'I told you so'! and I didn't want to have to explain myself if I had decided at the last minute that I wanted a hospital birth instead of a home birth. I didn't want to feel pressurised into having a home birth simply because I had told everyone that was what I wanted.

People do see pregnant women as 'public property' and for some reason think they can give you unwanted advice and tell you what's going to happen, and tell you horror stories.

I'm sounding very cynical, of course there are plenty of people around who support a woman's right to give birth how she chooses.

belgo - sadly I don't think you're being cynical at all; I think you're representing reality very accurately. Isn't that awful?

The 'public property' thing enrages me - for eg my MIL pointed at my belly and said to me (3 weeks after birth) 'are you carrying another one in there? ROFL ROFL'. I'm sure if I'd pointed out her rotund stomach she wouldn't have found it quite so funny but someone pregnant women and new mothers apparently aren't entitled to the same levels of respect as 'ordinary' folks. Then there's the tit who stared at my stomach (complete stranger, btw) and said 'It's a boy!' then walked off. Never actually looked at my face, or said hello or anything. Prick.

I am seriously considering pretending to be a hormonal pregnant bitch to these people, having been so sweet to everyone with DC1!

Caitni - I know, it's awesome. Very humbling.

I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I also did Natal Hypnotherapy. I think NH was great.

My dd arrived before the midwives arrived. That I delivered my baby myself was the icing on the cake for me. I had an incredible adrenalin rush. I felt like I was in this bubble coasting over the ground for what seemed like a whole month.

Monstrous - my mil patted my tummy and said something very similar when dd2 was three months old!

Was that your first birth virginia?

belgo - I hope you did the same back! Don't worry - mine lasted about 18 months. This time I'm getting Spanx.

Another Natal Hyp fan here!

It's so funny having changed my MN name - everyone keeps calling me 'Monstrous' and I sort of bristle and then go - oh, yeah, that's what I called myself!! D'oh!

I am only 13 weeks but have been thinking seriously about a home birth - dh was sceptical, but we talked to our local HB group and he seems to coming round to the idea - we only live 10 mins from the hospital so tranferring in an emergency shouldn'tbe a problem - I think I will have a fight on my hands though, mentioned it to the midwife and she just said 'have a look round the hospital on the tour'
Going to keep options open of course - but that means all options, surely, not just the ones they think are right?
This is my forst, and I'm 32, so hopefully none of that will count against me, but we shall see....

holytoast Unfortunately it seems that homebirth support varies a lot depending on where you live and how much experience the community MWs have. As I understand it you have a right to a homebirth if you want one - and booking a homebirth is, by definition, "keeping your options open" since you can go to the hospital anytime. If you book a hospital birth it's much harder to change your (read: their) mind once you go into labor.

Oh, and they're not even doing hospital tours right now because they're worried about swine flu! (where I live, anyway.)

My DH was skeptical too. But then his "perfect" sister just had a hospital birth and had all sorts of complications, so that has really helped with the idea too.

holytoast don't let the midwives or even DH talk you out of it if its what you want, I firmly believe it can be the best way if it is your kind of thing.

holytoast - just keep reminding yourself that as long as your labour is straightforward, giving birth at home is the best thing for you. And if your labour's problematic, as you've already said you can get whisked to the hospital in minutes.

I had a home birth and it was wonderful. If we have another baby, there's no question about it - I'd definitely have another home birth. I felt totally safe, everything was familiar, and my midwife said she'd never seen anyone so calm and relaxed in labour before. It was her first home birth (they did send a HB-experienced second midwife for the last bit) and she was amazed by the whole thing. I'm a total wuss with pain and was terrified of the thought of labour beforehand, but I woke up that morning with the most amazing sense of calm and control and did the whole thing with no pain relief at all (MW got me to try one puff of gas and air and I hated it). To be able to spend those first precious hours cuddled up at home, to have a shower in my own bathroom and wake up in my own bed the next morning....priceless. I was hopelessly unprepared because DS was nearly three weeks early, so I hadn't done very much reading, but a friend who's planning a HB rates Ina May very highly.

Interestingly when I went to the hospital for my booking in appointment, both the midwifes I saw suggested I had a home birth (because my DS was born in the birthing pool in the hospital) in a totally calm and amazing way.

Slight resevation is that DD (older than DS) was born very blue and midwife couldn't resusitate her and they had to call crash team in, but then they knew before she was born that she was distressed and I guess they would have had me bundled off to hospital before it got to that point.

I an open to it but I am a but what if person. I know homebirths very safe but still am worried that I will never get over it if same problem as DD happens again, and midwifes can't resusitate in same way as crash team could.

(We are also renting but its laminate floorboard and they clean up really easily so will cover them (eg to protect against spills and would not tell.)

Looking for reassurance...

BTW I gave birth to DD on an old fashioned wooden birthing stool, I thought it was quite comfortable but I tore quite badly. When I went back to the hospital to have DS I asked for it and they said they had thrown it out as too many women having bad tears while using it. I will say though that DD birth was a bit uncontrolled, she was distressed they were about to call in doctors, I was pushing like mad and she landed on the floor while they called the drs!

MumNWLondon I think for the what-ifs all you can do is ask your MWs what resources they have available for these kinds of situations. They may very well have the right equipment to resuscitate. But as you say, they likely would have sent you off to the hospital long before it became necessary.

www.homebirth.org.uk has a whole page called "But what if..." and I plan to ask my MW what, specifically, our local team's policies are for each of those situations.

My mum keeps going on about a book she read by Dick-Read. Found it on Amazon where it has really good reviews. Might order it.

Hi all, I am having a home birth this time around too. Really excited about it, it will be so nice to be in my own surroundings this time, the pain and complications for me seem to increase everytime I have been near the hospital in the past.

I am sending my midwifes into a bit of a panic as I have had two caesereans followed by a VBAC2 but my notes have been passed onto the 'matron of midwifery' who is going to make sure there they have a plan in place for me and that I have experienced midwifes with me when I go into labour. My hospital (Torbay) have one of the highest home birth rates (20%) in the country so all should go well. It is nice they are listening to what I want and seem to be supporting me (so far).

Anyway looking forward to talking to you in the future.

Oh I am due April 17th. First scan yesterday, all fine.

Hello ladies!

Just wanted to add my story to this thread. I had my first baby last year at home and it was the best decision I've ever made.

Ina May and Nicky Wesson were my home birth gurus - I read and re-read their books.

In the end my labour was long (20 hours), incredibly hard and indescribably painful......but.....seeing her born on our sofa and getting into our own bed with DP and this new beautiful wee creature was so amazing! My midwives were wise, caring and so professional.

Caitni - wow our mothers sound so similar! My mum back in Ireland was not supportive of the very idea of home birth at all and when I stopped replying to her texts when my labour really started to get tough she told me later that she had me and dd "in the morgue" .

Belgo, I am a namechanger whose birth story you read last year. the HB I had was my second child. the first was an induction (for PE) at 37 weeks which was so terrorizing I vowed never to go back to labour in a hospital. The MWs were not supportive of my HB which left me with even less trust in them. I really wanted to run away to the Farm. If I could have afforded it, I would have gone. I couldn't afford an IM either and really didn't want NHS MWs there so that the baby came before the MWs came felt like winning the Lottery. (A sad commentary on the state of my mind at the time, imo.)

It never occurred to me or to dh to call for paramedics with dd2. He just let me 'get on with it'. And he was amazed how I could go from a woman totally consumed by my contractions to a completely articulate woman, bossing giving instructions between them.

Both dh and I felt that this birth was healing for the last one. A few months after dd2's birth he said that watching me in labour with dd1 was 'horrendous'.

I've had 2 homebirths and 1 hospital birth.
I never get it when people talk about the mess. The midwives clean it all up and as they put absorbent pads down around you nothing really gets on carpets/floors. It's none of your landlords business really.

Nobody would have known that I had had a homebirth in my house 30 mins. after baby was born (apart form the obvious newborn ).
Midwives cleared everything up.

Bunny I can fully imagine my mum having the same thought with my birth . At least she didn't tell you that while you laboured.

Virginia - I have no idea who you used to be I'm glad you had a good birth though!