Er.... perineal massage

[blushes]

Right, rather personal question, but I hope somebody will be able to help...

I'm almost 23 weeks and am planning to start doing some perineal massage soon.

However, I am very- well- sensitive down there and suffer from recurrent utis which are irritated by cosmetics and fraganced products.

Can anyone recommend a nice, natural type oil which won't irritate my delicate lady parts? Or do I not need to use oil at all?

Thanks in advance!

lol AnnTwacky! Mine's a bit more nvq

basically, the baby's head is quite big and bony, so any way you can prepare a bit for it has to be a good thing. I did it both times and didn't tear (waterbirth with second).

Just get any reasonably sized object or your hands, and stretch away, especially down towards the perineum. in Africa they use gourd vegetables (yikes!). I wouldn't bother till you're about 36 weeks. Also if you've had UTIs make sure hands etc are clean. It's more or less like trying to stretch a shoe or something. sorry it sounds grim but isn't really. easier to do lying in the bath as well...

anyway it worked for me, any discomfort is nothing compared to the actual birth!

I did it a bit with first baby, just a graze, but I think delivery position helped.

I used olive oil - the technique I was advised to use was to use thumb and forefinger (oiled) to gently stretch things out.

I used the epi-no which was recommended by a colleague. Managed to deliver DD back to back with no tearing (and no I don't get commission!). Midwife couldn't believe it.

You could find it on google I think. It's basically an inflatable balloon which you insert and gradually inflate to stretch things out. Felt kinda odd but I'm not too weird about stuff like that so for me it was well worth it!

Worked four times, five babies no tears (and be assured I am still in good working order). Leave it until the last couple of weeks, ANY gentle oil/lubricant e.g. almond oil, butter, whatever. Just stretch it a bit more each day.

Not much fun but definitely worth it.

OMG expecting first child and have just put size of partner's head (no hat in the world EVER fits) and this thread together and started to feel weak with fear. Pass the almond oil....

Oh my! DH was very excited when I mentioned this a few weeks ago, less so after he googled it

It's good to see that it's worked for some of you, we'll be saving it up for christmas .

I got DH to do it for me every night for the last 6 weeks. His thumbs got tired before I did Hardly the sexiest but I took the view that as he helped getting DD in, he should have a role in helping her out as well .

As well as preparing the area for DD's grand entrance, I'd read that it can help you get used with the burning/stinging sensation of crowning so that you can relax more on the day. It's not pleasant but it's a good time to practice deep, slow breathing out.

So, using olive oil, DH inserts thumb up to the knuckle and exerts pressure downwards on the muscle, only for a minute or two for the first go as it is uncomfortable at first. Once you get used to the sting / sensation, DH to progressively exert more pressure downwards and/or move thumb from side to side in a U motion, again exerting pressure. After a week or two you can definitely notice the difference.

I did try doing it myself with one leg up on the bath but there's only so long you can stand there on one leg with your hands in your ladygardent. Also got the impression that my arms were not long enough.

Also try spending a bit more time on the loo relaxing the pelvic floor. I didn't tear so consider it time well spent!

They were very keen on it in Cambridge where I had DS1 - we got an instruction sheet and everything. Did it religiously and hated it, but as I didn't tear, it was probably worth doing. Couldn't face doing it for DS2 but maybe I was pre-stretched as it was okay. I used Vitamin E cream, just because I had some.

I massaged my perinium from 34 weeks with both my dcs, and didn't tear at all. Aside from the physical stretching of the muscle, the crowning sensation came as less of a shock and I was able to relax my muscles as I'd felt a similar sensation before, if you see what I mean.
good luck!

I massaged religiously but my huge- headed DS got stuck and Dr had to get the scissors out....... 20 stitches in my beautifully stretched perinium

I did a bit of half hearted perineal massage a few weeks before DS birth.
Focused most of my birth preparation energy into Natal Hypnotherapy which I think really helped to keep me relaxed and in control during the birth.

The massage helped to understand what the stretching, 'burning' sensation feels like and to practice relaxing pelvic floor whilst this is happening.

My perineum survived relatively unscathed although I did need a few internal stitches, (never knew that internal tearing was possible) but it wasn't too bad (or not as bad as it sounds!)

Good luck

Recommend by my midwife, I used it last time from about 35 weeks or so. www.weledababy.net/international/index.php?id=653

Forgot to say, it's called "Weleda Perineum Massage oil", some of the Weleda products you can buy at ocado, and local pharmacies (I'm in London) have them as well.

I used olive oil too, and despite having an off-the-scale bonced baby (front-to-back measure, not all over), still had no tearing, just a slight graze. I think I started about 36 weeks as well, but was very slack about doing it every day. I think the hypnobirthing might have helped some too - plus practising relaxing the pelvic floor - either way, DS came out without too much bother. I gave birth lying on my side, pretty much by default as I was left to it with DH in the (ha!) observation ward - I was induced and at 11:30pm only 1cm dilated, so they carried on dealing with everyone else, meantime I went into Stage II at 1:30am and DS's head popped out at 2am - MWs came running and he was born at 2:03am.

ANYway, the MW who cleaned me up said lying on the left side is one of the best ways to avoid tearing - makes you wonder why they don't automatically let us do it that way then, doesn't it

Made poor DH do this every night for 6 weeks, then ended up with a C-section!

It was quite boring and uncomfortable too.

I used the mothercare gel and it was fine on my somewhat sensitive area, also used olive oil.

But it was a bit of a waste of time since ended up with episiotomy anyway (which btw was fine and far less unpleasant both at the time and afterwards than I'd been led to believe)....won't be bothering with it next time!

but I WILL be doing my pelvic floor exercises again as I reckon they are well worth it.

This is all really useful, really great advice.

In answer to someone's question (sorry can't remember who), it's my first pregnancy, not first time on mumsnet- I'm ashamed to say that I name-changed for this one! Don't worry you haven't all scared me- in fact I want to be prepared as poss. It's just got me thinking about the actual physical process of giving birth. I'm looking forward to it overall, would just like to stay intact if I possibly can.

But I do have one outstanding question: does all this perineal stretching pre-birth make you... bigger? I mean, I know it all stretches during the birth, but do you spend the six weeks or so beforehand (once you've started doing the massage) feeling a bit cavernous? Just curious...

I used Mother's Balm from Neal's Yard last time (it's mainly for use on tummy skin) but then dd was born with a ventouse and I saw Dr brandishing large pair of scissors with look of concentration so never really knew if stretching worked or not.

Didn't find it especially pleasant and wasn't going to do it this time, but this thread has made me all wibbly about large heads etc and will start pronto.

Seems to remember doing it sitting on the floor with soles of feet together butterfly-style and a mirror to make sure I was poking in right direction. Have all sorts of pregnancy related joy going on down there at the moment so no way I'm letting dh in.

It's the six weeks after when you have to worry about feeling cavernous

Don't forget those pelvic floor exercises...

blushes I think all sorts of weird stuff goes on down there towards the end of pg! Not sure it was the perineal massage tbh. I seem to remember like I felt like it was getting shorter and wider!! Sorry if TMI. Back to normal straight after so no permanent change from the perineal massage (but I didn't have a natural birth)

PMSL at the use of the word "cavernous"!

Wow this thread really made me aware I have no idea what I have gotten myself into with this whole pregnancy thing!! Hehe!!

fwiw, I have had no permanent change from either the perineal massage or giving birth to Super-length-head baby - everything back to normal now. But yes, be prepared to feel like everything is going to drop out every time you stand up for a while after the birth! Pelvic floor exercises at THAT point are A Really Good Idea.