Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Tonight I'm laying here thinking and crying a bit about how shit everythings been and wondering how I'm really going to cope with it all

108 replies

dizzymare · 13/09/2009 21:45

Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning, there's so much to think about. Too much really, and I know other people have got it much much harder than me, but does that make my shit any less painful or dificult. I've picked up an email from a family friend tonight, and it in she says 'so sorry to hear about your split from X but you're a strong women and there's people worse off. That's probably not much comfort is it, but it's a good way of thinking about stuff and putting things in to proportion'

Oh well cheers then It must be nice to be so fucking comfortable with life.

I've done lists until I end up with lists of lists. But don't seem to be getting anywhere, H stuff, newborn worries, scared about the future with 3 little ones, how we'll cope.

I suppose being hospitalised and having my problems taken seriously has helped a bit. My stress level isn't as high now, but I'm not relaxed at all. Geez I'm just waffling now.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

shabbapinkfrog · 13/09/2009 23:00

Deal with the 'here and now' first Dizzy.

Keep yourself and your DS as healthy as possible. Rest as much as possible, LOL on an hourly basis, kiss and hug the people who love you as often as poss, find the TAMBA group in your area, ask your health visitor for her help and her opinions.

For at least the next few weeks take care of emotions and happiness. All the marriage crap and finances will sort themselves out. Your HV will have heard similar stories to yours and thats what she is paid for - helping her mums to be and new mums to make sense of this weird journey we call life.

shabbapinkfrog · 13/09/2009 23:01

....and if the hole is not deep enough I will get my farking spade and dig it deeper - now behave before I come and slap your legs Lady Jane

Original poster

dizzymare · 13/09/2009 23:06

The here and now turns in to 'fuck, then what', then before I know it I get to panic mode about everything. That's my trouble, I can't just think in small chunks, as hard as I try it always escalates. The frustrating thing is I know what I'm reading on here right now makes perfect sense, but my head computes it as 'panic panic panic'. Which is nuts, god I'm really not painting myself well here am I.

My mind has been on high alert with this pregnancy for such a long time, It's like I can't 'come down'??

OP posts:

shabbapinkfrog · 13/09/2009 23:14

You will soon start to feel better sweetheart. You have a lot of support on MN.

Im going to have to run - DS4 Tom has a barking cough, snotty nose and a temperature - he is asleep but he keeps talking in his sleep! Going to check on him.

Take care - speak in the morning my love xxx

and STOP WORRYING!! xx

Original poster

dizzymare · 13/09/2009 23:15

Thanks shabbs, sorry I forgot about tom not being well. I hope he's alright x

OP posts:

Claire2301 · 13/09/2009 23:17

Hi Dizzy, Have seen several of your posts and I am so sorry you are feeling bad tonight. I agree with everyone else that you need to think about here and now, but also understand that you need some answers. I cannot suggest much however a friend of mine had twins who will be 2 in December. They were six weeks early but are totally fine and are now reaching all the milestones they should be reaching.

Equipment wise - to start off with and for the first 4-6 months the twins slept in the same cot, often while they slept they would hold hands (very cute!)They then went into separate cots.

Thier mum brought lots of little baby clothes but hardly used any. Couple of tops/trousers if you ever want to dress them "up" will do fine. The rest of the time sleepsuits are grand.

I hope that covers a couple of things for you. Please try to get some sleep.

Original poster

dizzymare · 13/09/2009 23:21

Claire, thank you. I will try and sleep now, you're very sweet x

OP posts:

Claire2301 · 13/09/2009 23:32

Glad to hear that :-)

If there is anything I can do just shout.
Not sure where you are but there's lots of people on here who will be here for you. Take care of yourself, you your DS and the girls are going to be just fine. They are lucky to have such a lovely Mum (very un-mn - xx)!!

pasturesnew · 13/09/2009 23:42

Having read several of your other threads can totally understand how you are feeling!

Not sure if you have come across Home Start Support before but apparently you can self refer and they specifically mention that people they help might be having a hard time with the emotional and physical demands of twins - might be worth getting in touch? From reading the website it seems that a lot of the volunteers have been in similar situations previously and won through, which is reassuring.

Deemented · 14/09/2009 07:17

Morning Dizzy - hope you're ok today.

Just reading your posts from last night, saw that you were worried about the girls coming prematurly.

Now, whilst that is sometimes the case, twin pregnancies can and do often go to term, but if you'd like to prepare yourself a really good place to start is BLISS, the organisation for premature and sick babies.

Having had my boys at 28 weeks, i can highly reccomend that you have a looksee over there - esecially the pregnancy forum, where you will find lots of support from other ladies who are going through high risk pregnancies themselves.

Anyways, i'm waffling now, but just wanted to let you know about BLISS.

Sending much love x

shabbapinkfrog · 14/09/2009 08:10

Oh my word Dee - your Boyo is a fab example of how premature babies are fighters. If you look at your photo's of him you would never imagine he was so early.

I went to 38 weeks with my lads...mind you only found out I was carrying twins 10 days before they were born Ahhhh the 'good old days' before routine scans were done

londonlottie · 14/09/2009 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

shabbapinkfrog · 14/09/2009 09:36

I reckon you need loads of plain babygro's, plenty of bibs, good supply of nappies and just a cot for them to sleep in. My boys were in one cot for many weeks. Dont forget you will get loads of pressies from folk because everybody is fascinated by twins! I had moses baskets but only because someone bought them for me.

You will find out what is right for you and your babies - and, believe me, you will never imagine that you could manage on so little sleep I was in a better routine when my boys were a few weeks old than I have ever been before or after.

Accept any help that is offered - from whoever offers it If anybody says 'is there anything I could help you with' grab them by the arm and frogmarch them to the washing up, ironing, etc etc. Dont try to be supermum - it is impossible.

Right - here endeth the first lesson!! xx

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 14/09/2009 10:02

I was so hoping this wasn't your thread .

You are allowed to feel low and then get yourself out of it by doing something really nice just for you.

You have come so far. Focus on that.

Original poster

dizzymare · 14/09/2009 11:26

Yes, it's me. I lost my stiff upper lip for a while there

Dee I haven't looked at that website yet, but I will do just as soon as I've done here, thank you. For a while the stitch was a comfort, at least I'm not bleeding now or leaking fluid. But it's also made me super paranoid that this pregnancy could end early, so any info is good isn't it? Or is too much info not helpful, I don't know?

I've got loads of plain bodysuits from ds, and some neutral sleepsuits, but everything else isn't girly. I know it doesn't really matter, but it matters to me that they won't have stuff I've waddled around and chosen especially for them, which I can't do
Mum suggested going to Tesco and me going in one of their wheelchairs, which would be great. I don't mind that, it's just finding time when someone else can come and hold ds.

I guess everything will work out in the end, it's bloody frustrating though when I'm usually such an organised person.

OP posts:

scroobiuspirate · 14/09/2009 11:31

just think ahead at how amazing it will be that you have 3 lovely kids who love and adore you dizzy.

AboardtheAxiom · 14/09/2009 11:45

How far along are you now dizzy?

Everything will work out in the end, you just need to go one day at a time, or even one hour at a time if that's easier!

Original poster

dizzymare · 14/09/2009 11:58

20weeks, so half way through. And I've done nothing to prepare for them yet, except make lists and think about stuff. Everything will work out, I just need to try not to get so uptight about the things out of my control.

OP posts:

itwascertainlyasurprise · 14/09/2009 12:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AboardtheAxiom · 14/09/2009 12:03

Well you are half way there then.

I am usually fine making lists like you but if you are feeling overwhelmed I don't think lists everywhere help (they don't for me if I am stressed, just make things seem worse). Are you keeping an eye out locally for baby stuff, I know around here people sell bundles of baby clothes in the paper so cheaply - wish I had bought for DS like that. Or if you can't get to supermarket due to logistics ask your mum to just pick some bits up for you? I would stick to just sleepsuits for first size, will be much easier and IMO they look cuter in sleepsuits than anything else anyway!

Claire2301 · 14/09/2009 12:26

Hi Dizzy, glad to see you sound a bit better this morning. Was thinking last night that I have quite a few baby girl clothes and my friend also has some she is giving away. I don't want anything for them but wondered if you would like them? Email is clairemichelle23 at hotmail dot co dot uk if you would like them!

Hope you mananged to get some sleep x

Northernlurker · 14/09/2009 12:53

Working on the basis of addressing one issue at a time (and in now way ignoring the other issues) - the shopping thing - have you looked on-line? john lewis has some lovely things and you can get it delivered.

PacificDogwood · 14/09/2009 12:54

Hi, dizzymare, so glad to hear you sound more positive today. Everything seems so much worse in the middle of the night, I know.
I have no experience of twins but DS2 was born at 31 weeks due to plancenta praevia and I count myself lucky I got that far as delivery was threatened a few times due to bleeding from 25 weeks onwards. It is a v scary time and I realise you are even earlier in this pregnancy, but every day is a bonus to those LOs. I had all the scary talks from paediatricians at the time about the statistics of survival/possible longterm effects of v early delivery and the only way I could cope was to have a v firm head-in-sand-policy in place. Make an effort to stop yourself from getting ahead of yourself; it is so exhausting and does not change anything. Easier said than done, but it can help.
Hope you'll have a good day today

nothingbyhalves · 14/09/2009 13:36

Just found out i'm having twins, and that has stressed me enough. If you want to waffle, then you go girl!

oooggs · 14/09/2009 19:01

hey dizzy - how are you feeling this evening?

my dts were 21 mths when ds3 was born (similar to you but the other way around)

lists are good it removes things from your head - I swear by them.

email me if you want more online twins/close age gap advise

oooggs @ hotmail . co . uk (without the space )

Flip

1 2 3 4 5