How to answer the 'Was it planned' question?

[stickybean]

I know its been done before but i can't find it when searching the archives...

I have just begun to tell people i'm pregnant, I'm 13 weeks and have a 12 month old so there will be an 18 month age gap...not that shocking i don't think. Anyway, so many people have asked if the baby is a 'suprise' or a 'happy accident' etc. It is actually very much planned but even if it wasn't, what makes anyone think its their buisness.. I am so shocked!

So come on ladies, give me so good comebacks!

Actually don't say 'kind of' because that encourages further interrogation!

"no- we accidently had sex"

What I can't understand is, why is it anyone's business whether you planned it or not? Why do I care if you had unprotected sex? I think this is so rude and would never dream of asking someone this question. I've been asked myself so many times I just want to scream. It's become one of these inane questions that trip off the tongue just like when you have a baby and they ask "Is he/she good? Does he/she sleep through the night?".

IMO the only response to the news that someone is pg is to congratulate them. If the relationship is such that they want to tell me that actually the baby was not planned and they are a bit depressed about it then so be it. It's not my business to ask.

What if it wasn't planned? So what? It's none of your business unless I want to tell you that.

So, OP, not really answered the question. I think smiling broadly and responding with "Oh it's a lovely surprise" tends to move the conversation on.

Probably a bit of post natal hormones affecting my response here (gave birth to DC5 on Wednesday)

LOL, some of your answers are very funny. To be honest i don't know why the question bothers me so much, it just does, can't explain it. Not sure what happended to the good old fashioned 'congratulations'.

Big up to ExtraFancy I am sooo going to use that one. On the right person.

I have a 21 month gap between DCs, both planned.

When expecting the second one, to people I know, I have occasionally said, 'No, it was an accident. I was walked down the street and fell on a cock'

The next annoying question was 'do you know what it is?' 'Oh yes, the doctor told us!! It's definately a ...baby'

And congratulations.

oh yes....

the "do you know what your having" question !!!

the most irritating question of all time !!!!!

yes.....were having monkeys !! more monkeys

People assume/ask us quite a bit, because we're not married. After initially feeling a bit sensitive, now I actually don't give a stuff. I'm too happy about the baby- plus these people definitely mean well.

It's the same with comments on the bump or lack thereof/questions about gender etc.
People are just trying to show an interest IMO. There are only so many questions you can ask about a pregnancy after all (I can remember wondering what to ask to show an interest when a woman was preggers), yet often pregnant women take it as an insult or find it annoying to be asked these questions.

But if people just said "congratulations" and changed the subject, we'd probably be on here complaining that people aren't interested!

Hiya Joy....
is it your 1st baby ?

interest is lovely on your 1st....
but after so long.....so many ppl repeating these questions....they do get quite irritating....
We know some ppl mean well (others just plainly nosey) depending on who you know & where you live !!

I would much rather ppl show an interest in different ways now....
IE:

Oh....your pregnant....congratulations......how beautiful......Ill pop by your house tonight with some mildly alcholic plonk, and lots of chocolate treats....and run you a bath.....
then when your finished having a relaxing soak Ill rub your feet whilst we watch this new DVD together......IF YOU WANT ???
my mum doesnt mind doing some of that ironing for you if youd like.....she loves ironing !

Believe me.....you'd much rather the questions/ meaning well conversations turn to help like this

Smile and say 'No, he was trying to put it in my pocket'

I hate this question - I know it is usally said as a run of the mill type standard pg question but I loathe it. I don't think people realise what they are actually suggesting.

I have a 13 month old DS and am 7 weeks pg and am sure we will get asked this loads as soon as we go public.

LMHO @ whingingdailyhatemail

Yes it was an accident......whilst walking down the street I accidently fell on a live penis

Just said this to my OH......we fell about laughing !!!

queue more wetting myself.......but well worth it

god, i hate this question, its up there with "so when will you be giving ds a baby brother or sister?" I mean what they are essentially asking is whether you have regular unprotected sex.

loving the "live penis" though.

Tell them Yes it was definately planned, Weve been at it like rabbits for months!

They wont know where to look!

Only once have I had the guts to say 'oh yes, we had sex every other day during my cycle, just like the experts recommend' .

'Yes, we planned it down to the last detail, like a military invasion. Do you want to see the maps and charts?'

Definitely say YES we wanted to have another one who would be close in age to sibling 1.
When I was pg age 22 I felt I had to say unplanned because ppl would look at me and say Why do you want a baby now?
Now I regret that they look at DS and think he was a mistake.
Definitely be confident that it was deliberate.

Gosh Dominique, that's so sad!

I am 12 weeks and not telling anyone as I can't face the barrage of negativity I'll get from DH's family, especially after the last friend I told said "god, you're spitting them out, aren't you?"
(I have one 7yo and one 2yo, so, no actually.

I love the answer that "He said he'd pull out"!
Funnily enough, that's pretty much what happened to me! If I'm ever in danger of loosing an argument, I just say to DH in a strained voice "Uugh , but it feels so gooood!" Guaranteed to render him silent and sheepish.

londonlottie - it's even more annoying when people ask you if twins run in the family (and this still happens even now they are 12) and you have a close relative telling everyone they do...even though the only relative with twins is your grandma's sister's daughter, and your own twins are actually identical and hence are not hereditary anyway!

crankytwanky - that is just hilarious about your DH. Thanks

I just tell them, "No, but we got very bored during all the snow and one of the little blighters must have found a way"

Tends to shut them up.

i was asked at family party on sat eve- if we are going to fix the TV now- cheeky sod.

really upset me i have a ds who is 4.8 dd 19 mths and baby due march 3rd, (so will be 5 and 2 when baby arrives) (surprise baby indeed i was on the pill!!!!!) but what right does anyone have to question us, bloody rude imho-

some great comebacks on here, thanks

going to fix the TV? Sorry to be slow but is that a euphemism?