Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.
Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.
Pregnancy
How do I get decent antenatal care this time (sorry, very long post)
baboon · 07/05/2003 16:59
I have just found out I am pregnant and am really excited. The only thing is I am afraid that the care I get from midwives and doctors will be like it was last time.
I wanted the pregnancy and birth to be natural as possible and wanted a home birth. I was told I couldn't have a home birth, the midwife was funny with me because I wanted one, when I was concerned about anything she didn't reassure me.
When I had really bad morning sickness and pain in early pregnancy, the hospital insisted on giving me pethidine and an anti-sickness drug even though I said I didn't want either. The doctors said neither would harm the baby but if I was really worried they would just give me pethidine and not the sickness injection but later on, as the pethidine made the sickness worse they insisted I had a sickness drug too otherwise my baby would suffer from undernourishment. Later on in the pregnancy I was told by my GP that anti-sickness drugs should not be used in pregnancy at any time, certainly not in the first three months.
Also, even though my periods were regular no one could decide when my baby was due and sent me for frequent scans. In the last few weeks the midwife said my abdomen felt tight and wanted me to go hospital for monitoring in case I was going to labour. The CTG showed very strong contractions and they said I would have a premature delivery so kept me in hospital for days. Then they said I was dilating so would deliver in the next couple of days but said I could go home as long as I went in if I felt the contractions any stronger. Then when I was finally in labour and described the pain to the hospital they said I just had an upset tummy as the pain wouldn't be that bad so early on in labour, it couldn't be labour. I was having contractions every two minutes at the time! When they finally said I could go in, they insisted keeping me on a CTG throughout labour, wouldn't let me change postion and told me to bottle feed as it was the easiest.
They also asked if they could put my baby in the nursery overnight so I could rest and I said I wanted her with me,but when she started crying and wouldn't feed, instead of helping me settle her, she took her to the nursery as she was disturbing the other mums.
I really can't afford an independent midwife. I have been thinking about doing my own care, I have a blood pressure monitor and urine testing sticks and I have health related qualifications and know what danger signs to look for, I know what symptoms should be investigated, I can feel the fundus so I can check the fundal height and I was going to buy a foetal heart monitor. I would still consult a doctor if anything concerned me and I was going to pay for private scans and either give birth at home, calling someone at the last minute or go into a private hospital for the birth.
When the person who delivers me asks who my midwife is and finds out I haven't had the usual sort of antenatal care, could they get concerned and phone social services, thinking I don't care about the baby?
And what would I do about post natal checks? Would they just send a community midwife from the hospital; I am not registered with a GP at the moment. Ideally I would rather not have post-natal care anyway but I know a midwife has a legal obligation to attend for the first ten days so would I be breaking the law for not having post natal care?
snowqueen · 07/05/2003 17:24
I feel really sorry for you going through such hard a time last pregnancy. Having a bad time then doesn't mean you will this time round but I can understood why you are reluctant to have antenatal care this time.
As for social services, don't worry. I know someone who didn't like doctors or hospitals or midwives and none of the health professionals even knew she was pregnant until after she was in labour! Her and baby were perfectly healthy, she went in to hospital for the birth and went home 6 hours later. No one was concerned about the lack of antenal care and she didn't even do her own checks like you did.
You might like to consider having blood tests though, through a private hospital if you don't want to see your doctor or other NHS professional.
As for post natal care, I think even if you deliver in a private hospital you will still be able to have an NHS midwife without your doctor being involved.
baboon · 07/05/2003 17:31
Thanks snowqueen. I did think about having blood tests, I know the symptoms of anaemia and I know my blood group but I suppose they still need to test for antibodies and things like that. I will have to go privately, I don't want to register with a GP as I don't want to be allocated a midwife.
baboon · 07/05/2003 17:34
I am a homeopath and herbalism and we use the same diagnostic equipment that a doctor uses and are trained in anatomy, physiology and pathology.
snowqueen · 07/05/2003 17:38
sorry, I have just realised you probably don't want an NHS midwife for your antenatal care. If you do deliver in a private unit maybe there is a midwife associated with them who can do your checks instead of an NHS one.
Does anyone else know what normally happens about post natal checks if you deliver in a private hospital? Do they normally send out a private midwife who contact an NHS one?
LIZS · 07/05/2003 17:40
I can understand why you may be reluctant to involve the heath professionals who let you down so badly last time. Didn't quite understand how you have no GP at the moment - did you move since 1st child born ? Could you at least ask the advice of the previous dr you saw as to what is available. Personally I don't think I would have had the confidence to do my own care.
I have a friend who similarly wanted a low tech approach 2nd time round and who left it relatively late to go to a gp and didn't even see a midwife each month. She was able to deliver (after a bit of fuss) in a NHS midwife-led unit, in water and with minimum of medical interference, a real home from home. So it may well be worth investigating the alternatives before you approach anyone medically.
Could you ring the local coordinator of NCT or La Leche League, as they may well be a good source of info on this, and I'm sure could advise you which doctors/midwives may be more sympathetic and fight your corner if need be.
pupuce · 07/05/2003 17:56
Which part of the UK are you in?
What sort of care are you therefore looking for???
Do you know The Mother magazine? Alternative in pregnancy - too hippy for many but there is some good/useful stuff.
baboon · 07/05/2003 18:03
I don't know of the Mother magazine; where do you get it from? It sounds like my sort of thing!
baboon · 07/05/2003 18:05
snowqueen, that was a good question you asked. I have often wondered who does your antenatal care if you deliver in a private hospital
baboon · 07/05/2003 18:19
LIZS, can you remember how long your friend left it before getting her care and whether anyone criticised her or threatened involving social services or anything?
snowqueen · 07/05/2003 18:22
Baboon, don't forget there are these cases where women don't even know they're pregnant until they are in labour so they don't have any antenatal care at all! I'm not sure what happens about post-natal care in these cases, as they don't already have a named midwife I expect when they deliver the baby the hospital assigns them one for afterwards or if a home birth, the person attending would probably contact the supervisor of midwives at the hospital who would then assign a midwife
snowqueen · 07/05/2003 18:24
I have just realised in my earlier post at 5:38 I said antenatal care; that was meant to be postnatal of course
snowqueen · 07/05/2003 18:37
At least you are not going to try to have an unassisted birth. Social services will expect you to respect their job, so if they wre informed about your lack of midwifery, GP care, and you tell them you did your own care, they will have to respect that your profession and qualifications and accept that you are capable of doing it yourself! I really don't think they will get involved though. Have you tried contacting AIMS?
snowqueen · 07/05/2003 18:46
association for improvement in maternity services, I don't know if they can help you but you will at least see that you are not alone in having bad experiences.
Have a look at this
LIZS · 07/05/2003 18:54
As far as I recall it was around the 4 month mark that she went to a dr, really as a formality. I think she had a scan at around 20 wks with no.2 and definitely did with her no.3. She also has an arms length approach to her HV - agreed she will call her as and when she feels the need - ie. not v often! No contact with social services as far as I know.
BTW when I had ds, and also my early ante natal care with dd, I was not assigned a particular midwife for either ante or post natal care - saw a different one almost every time - so systems may vary according to area.
baboon · 07/05/2003 19:06
Thanks snowqueen, that's really interesting. There is an article about a woman who had no antenatal care for ages because she wanted a homebirth and kept writing letters to the supervisor of midwives and she did her own bp and urine as she had heard some midwives who want to bully you into a homebirth will say your bp's high or there's protein in your urine.
She ended up giving birth on her own and social services did come round with the police because they had been informed an illegal birth had taken place but she explained the trouble she had and all the letters she had written and it was not an illegal birth because it is not against the law to deliver your own baby, only to act as a midwife unless an emergency.
I am still worried they may get involved but I expect I'm getting a bit paranoid as I have heard so many horror stories about social services getting it wrong. And like you say, I will have a professional present at the birth. I'm just a bit worried about what they will say to me about not having the care.
baboon · 07/05/2003 19:07
LIZS, would you mind telling me what area you and your friend is in, maybe things are very different in my area
pupuce · 07/05/2003 19:23
Babboon - here is the website of the mother magazine
www.themothermagazine.co.uk/
Also are you close to Belper???
I know someone you could talk to there if that was usefullll... if anything to chat about your needs and possible solutions.
LIZS · 07/05/2003 19:23
I was in Surrey , my friend in Yorkshire, but I think that things can vary even more locally than this - possibly down to NHS Trust or Fundholding Practice level. I really would suggest that contacting the local NCT or LLL would help you find something more suitable in your area, either NHS or Private - you may even be able to do this via the NCT website.
hth
baboon · 07/05/2003 19:31
pupuce, I would love to talk to this person, is she a health professional
pupuce · 07/05/2003 19:33
No a happy or hippy doula....
but you don't have to hire her...... you can have a chat - I think she is quite good.
Find her details here :
doula.org.uk/findadoula/findadoula.php?region=8
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.