How do I get decent antenatal care this time (sorry, very long post)

[baboon]

I have just found out I am pregnant and am really excited. The only thing is I am afraid that the care I get from midwives and doctors will be like it was last time.

I wanted the pregnancy and birth to be natural as possible and wanted a home birth. I was told I couldn't have a home birth, the midwife was funny with me because I wanted one, when I was concerned about anything she didn't reassure me.

When I had really bad morning sickness and pain in early pregnancy, the hospital insisted on giving me pethidine and an anti-sickness drug even though I said I didn't want either. The doctors said neither would harm the baby but if I was really worried they would just give me pethidine and not the sickness injection but later on, as the pethidine made the sickness worse they insisted I had a sickness drug too otherwise my baby would suffer from undernourishment. Later on in the pregnancy I was told by my GP that anti-sickness drugs should not be used in pregnancy at any time, certainly not in the first three months.

Also, even though my periods were regular no one could decide when my baby was due and sent me for frequent scans. In the last few weeks the midwife said my abdomen felt tight and wanted me to go hospital for monitoring in case I was going to labour. The CTG showed very strong contractions and they said I would have a premature delivery so kept me in hospital for days. Then they said I was dilating so would deliver in the next couple of days but said I could go home as long as I went in if I felt the contractions any stronger. Then when I was finally in labour and described the pain to the hospital they said I just had an upset tummy as the pain wouldn't be that bad so early on in labour, it couldn't be labour. I was having contractions every two minutes at the time! When they finally said I could go in, they insisted keeping me on a CTG throughout labour, wouldn't let me change postion and told me to bottle feed as it was the easiest.

They also asked if they could put my baby in the nursery overnight so I could rest and I said I wanted her with me,but when she started crying and wouldn't feed, instead of helping me settle her, she took her to the nursery as she was disturbing the other mums.

I really can't afford an independent midwife. I have been thinking about doing my own care, I have a blood pressure monitor and urine testing sticks and I have health related qualifications and know what danger signs to look for, I know what symptoms should be investigated, I can feel the fundus so I can check the fundal height and I was going to buy a foetal heart monitor. I would still consult a doctor if anything concerned me and I was going to pay for private scans and either give birth at home, calling someone at the last minute or go into a private hospital for the birth.

When the person who delivers me asks who my midwife is and finds out I haven't had the usual sort of antenatal care, could they get concerned and phone social services, thinking I don't care about the baby?

And what would I do about post natal checks? Would they just send a community midwife from the hospital; I am not registered with a GP at the moment. Ideally I would rather not have post-natal care anyway but I know a midwife has a legal obligation to attend for the first ten days so would I be breaking the law for not having post natal care?

pupuce, been looking at that websitre you mentioned, can't find one in belper though

Oops try region 7 .... to change at the end of URL
sorry!

message withdrawn

Baboon, I am so sorry to read of the problems you had last time. I am a midwife an am horrified that you feel you have to go to great lengths to get the care you should automatically get.
You are entitled to have a homebirth if that is what you want. Midwives cannot refuse to attend though doctors can.
Can I suggest you contact your local senior midwife to discuss your issues before you try to find an alternative. You do not need to see the midwife you had before. She may not even be there anymore. You might find that there is a midwife you can gel with in the area that you live. There are lots of midwives who strive to deliver the care you want. Please try that route first. Best wishes.

I have heard that some independent midwives will see you in return for services if you have a service to offer or will at least see you for a much reduced cost?

MEARS, you say you are a midwife, do you know if this is right or know of any midwife who would do this. Maybe you can have a NHS midwife see you privately?

Mears, thannks for your reply. I wish you were my midwife!

I have complained to the supervisor of midwives at the hospital and also complained about the doctors who insisted I had these injections; they said my GP had been wrong about saying they weren't safe as the GP's didn't know as much about pregnancy as they did.

The supervisor of midwives said it was routine to put everyone on a CTG in labour. Everyone who is admitted after 24 weeks for any reason is always put on for at least half an hour twice a day, as the midwives are rushed off their feet and don't have time to use a pinnard or doppler. She also said the CTG is much more accurate. She said the reason it was left on me in labour is probably
because labour was progressing so quickly

She also said they wouldn't let me use my homeopathic remedies as I didn't have a homeopath present. I explained that I was one myself and she said they weren't sure the remedies I had taken in were safe.

With regards to my request for the home birth, nobody in the area was allowed to have their first baby at home. She said it was no wonder the community midwife had been funny with me as I kept on saying I wanted a home birth when I should have known that I couln't. She said the midwife used to dread coming to see me as I pressured her to allow me a home birth when it was nothing to do with her and she found me intimidating.

She said any of their midwives would have been the same. By wanting to do things my way during pregnancy and birth I offended the professionals because it meant I did not acknowledge their qualifications and expertise, I was making out I knew more than they did about their subject, I did not respect them and I undermined their authority. They also said that while I acted a know it all I should expect that kind of treatment again. They could not respect me if I didn't respect them.

Oh by the way, I was told that although they say you won't get a home birth with your first baby, that doesn't mean you will be able to with your second. They always try to discourage it and say it is dangerous for the baby to be born at home because it is hard to maintain a sterile environment and that I should be pleased that the professionals refused to give me a home birth as it meant they wanted what was best for the baby which I clearly did not.

This is why I am wondering if social services will have a go at me for not cooperating.

Mears, is it acceptable not to have antenatal care? I really would like the care but only privately which I just can't afford.

Baboon, that's awful. I really understand why you want a private midwife. pupuce's idea sounds good, a doula could act as your advocate and help you get the care you want and deserve. I think they go to antenatal appointments as well as the birth if they want you to don't they pupuce.

I know you are already a herbalist yourself but there are some herbalists, aromatherapists etc, who are midwives but no longer work as a midwife. I wonder if you could see one of them for massage etc and whether they would also check the baby out too.

Was your post natal care at home really bad too

Yes, it was. The midwife just stayed for ages just talking to me, asking me how I was doing this, how I was doing that, am I remembering to cahnge the nappy often enough, didn't ask how I was and when the baby was asleep she would stay for ages when I just wanted to get rid of her so I could sleep before baby woke up.

Which is why I am dreading post natal time as well as antenatal care; doeas anyone know is it illegal to not let the midwife in

Baboon.... why don't you e-mail the Mother magazine, they have dealt with this issue in the past... they know the law as they have had to research.

BTW- I am APPALED at what you have been told...

Snowqueen - every doula is different but yes we would go to AN appointment.

Also don't forget this is your 2nd baby so things should easier, faster and better.... certainly for labour and postnatally...

Oh Baboon, I am absolutely appalled by your treatment. Please contact AIMS as snowqueen suggested earlier.Actually phone them and speak to them They will be able to help you get the care you want and need.
How long ago was your last delivery? Staff may have changed. What area do you stay in? Could you book at a different hospital?
The Spervisor sounds like a bully. Did you speak to the Head of Midwifery? It used to be that the Head of Midwifery and the Link Supervisor of Midwives was one and the same person. That is now no longer recommended.
I myself am a Supervisor of Midwives. There are a number of us within the hospital. The 'senior' one is the link supervisor who liaises with the Local Supervisory Authority (LSA) - the person responsible for midwifery for the regional authority.
I am not trying to blind you with hierarchy here, but trying to demonstrate that there are other people you can speak to.
The information you were given by the Supervisor of Midwives was WRONG.
I believe it is vital that you are able to receive care from a midwife that you can trust. You have a right to get appropriate care. The maternity service is supposed to be WOMEN CENTRED. Please phone AIMS to guide you through that process.

I have spoken to aims. I still want to do my own care though, as aims have had so many people unhappy with their care, I am afraid of happening it happening again even if I book at a different hospital

baboon, do you mean that lots of other people have complained to AIMS about the same hospital?

I meant in general, they have so many complaints from all over the place, but yes there have been several complaints about this place

Don't want to put the cat among the pigeons but surely AIMS by definition will hear more cases of complaint than praise. Try to use their information constructively to make an informed choice rather than focussing only on the negative.

Do hope you find higher standards of care this time.

Baboon - do you know that you can get your AN care purely from the GP?
I really do not recommend that you undertake your own AN care.

baboon, it sounds as if you were told so many awful and untrue things it's hard to know where to start but I agree, you probably shouldn't try to carry out your own antenatal care. More to the point you shouldn't have to. Is there another hospital you could book for? Is there a midwifery unit near you? I don't think it matters if you're not registered with a GP I think you could go straight to the hospital (but I could be wrong). It sounds like your care was awful last time but it doesn't have to be the same this time, most midwives aren't like this I'm sure. I would suggest AIMS as the first port of call too.

Have you moved Baboon - I noticed you had a GP last time, but are not registered now. Best to be registered should you need a GP for your current child.

I was going to register the child with my partner's doctor. Do you really think it is important not to do the checks myself

Yes I do baboon. Antenatal checks are not just about checking blood pressure and urine. You need to know the implications of checks you undertake if they are not normal. I think you would be giving yourself excess worry throughout your pregnancy, knowing that you were not getting care from a trained person. What about booking at a different hospital? I really am worried about you. Indidentally, i have spoken to midwife friends of mine about your plight and they are truly appalled at how you have been treated in the past. How long ago was that?

16 months ago that I gave birth

Can you book elsewhere?