Happily unmarried and pregnant... don't want to be judged

[Joy27]

In short, my partner and I are expecting a very much planned baby and we couldn't be happier about it. We're not married and have no immediate plans to get married.

We're in the process of launching the happy news into the world at large. My immediate family have been totally fine about our unmarried state- it's not even an issue. For most people, quite rightly say I, the same will apply.

But I can think of two people at least (close rellies) who might take issue with the fact we're unmarried.

Now, I really am not looking to start a debate about whether or not we should get married. Not only are we happy with the status quo but we are fully aware of the legalities of it all (can you tell I've read many a bunfight about this on MN before?!).

[pre-emptively defensive emoticon]

I'm really looking for advice from fellow sinners... If people judged you on being unmarried/lobbied you to get hitched when you announced you were expecting, how did you deal with it? Did it spoil the lovely "announcing" moment? And how did you fend off their comments?

I'm not so much worried, as wanting to avoid sobbing/arguing with anyone after telling them the wondrous tidings.

Any advice much appreciated!

I got married four days before I had my 4th baby, we'd been engaged since I was pg with No1!! If people question why then just say at this moment love and a baby is enough. When it's not enough you'll think again about marriage.

[whispers to OP you know you won't get as much of his money if you're not married and baby will be baby 27 in hospital and he can't register the birth, don't you???]

We weren't married when DD was born - I was still married to now exH. A lot of people assumed DD was an accident because of this - she wasn't, she was very very planned.

We had no comments at all about getting married. I think people steered clear because it was a bit of a minefield. We did get "was it planned?" a fair bit which I didn't mind - meant we could set them straight.

We eventually got married when DD was 2. DD had DH's surname from the start. Unmarried dads can't register the birth on their own, but we wanted to go and do that bit together anyway.

OP, you've got the right idea about your DP's dad - his problem.

I'm not married either!

DP and I have been together 8 years and have a, very much wanted and planned, 2 year old DD! We've been engaged for five years and plan to get married eventually but at the moment we can't be arsed afford to ATM.

Tbh noone has ever said anything negative about it. They might look down they're noses in secret but I don't really care. We have a loving relationship (most of the time, lol), a nice home and DD seems confident and happy enough. That's what's important, right?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Oops their noses.