Midwife should be slapped and nearly was!

[dyzzidi]

I had a missed miscarriage in Sept and have been awaiting IVF due to gynae problems for some time however I have just found out I am Pregnant[grin[

I went for my first midwife Appointment on Friday to arrange an early scan as instructed by my GP, when I got there I had seen this midwife in Sept so felt quite comfortable. there was also a nurse in the room with us. I sat down and she barely scanned my notes and said 'oh I'm not going to bother filling in any of the maternity notes as there is no point the scan may have a negative outcome' (even if I m/c I will need notes) I was completely gobsmacked I didn't expect a round of applause but FGS the insensitive cow. I was not in a mood to be messed with and said I don't think you should be speaking to me like that how dare you presume this baby is going to die as well. I expect some support from someone in your position I am aware of the risks but am trying to keep positive so don't you dare refer to my pregancy without further facts.

The poor nurse looked horrified as I asked the midwife when I could I expect my scan and she said oh I don't know why not wait till 12 weeks. I stood up told her my Consultant at the hospital had told me to get and early scan, my GP wanted it as well and if she couldn't be bothered I would see someone else.

I thought midwifes were generally nice to you!!!!

She was very lucky in my hormaonal state i didn't swing for her what a complete cow

Dizzydi, do complain if you feel up to it. It helps the NHS sort out problems if they hear from patients where things are going wrong. This midwife was not only extremely rude and insensitive but also failed in her professional duty by refusing to book you in for a scan that consultant had requested.
I complained about one very distressing incident in my antenatal care and was pleased to get a full response and apology, detailing the steps they had taken to ensure this never happened again (although cynically I'm sure they were trying to reduce the risk of me going to the police/suing, but hey, I'm just glad if it stops anyone else being treated the way I was).

Oh dear, that was indeed very in-sensitive. I'm sorry you had to go through this.

I myself had quite a similar experience not with a m/w but the receptionist at our health centre. When I phoned at 5 weeks pregnant to get my booking appointment the girl (she can't have been more than 17/18), informed me that I'd have to wait until 11 or 12 weeks. When I asked why (this being my first pregnancy and being full of questions) she said 'well, a lot of pregnancies end in miscarriage anyway, so there's no point to come to see the m/w early', yes these were her exact words. Unbelievable !

IMHO compassion should be one of the person specifications of any health professional. I think you have every right to complain !

very sorry to hear about your experience dyzzidi that was well out of order and i think you should complain and i think anyone who says you shouldn't is obviously just as insensitive as she is.
flum you obviously don't know what its like to lose a baby and how anxious dyzzidi must have already been feeling, and you don't need to be made to feel worse, midwives are surpossed to be reasurring and make you feel at ease not make you feel worse.
i think next time you should keep your opinion to yourself if you ain't got anything helpful to say.

Message withdrawn

Congrats to you dizzidi, I hope your pregnancy goes safe and well. Think the midwife has been well covered above, but for the record, I too would be seething. (in fact I may well have accidently hit her )

I cannot understand why so many midwives are so vile. All of my friends (except the homebirthers, actually) have tales about being shouted at, criticised, or just dismissed by deliberately unpleasant midwives. Why don't they just all go and become car-clampers or something? It's like, 'Ooh, I really hate women. I particularly despise women who are in pain or frightened, so I think I'll do midwifery."

I'm going to be a lovely one though

Glad to hear it! The NHS definitely needs more of you!

And please, when you are one, do come back and shed some light on why some midwives are so horrible. I'd really love to know.

Pruni I was maybe thinking of a vouchers for mothercare

When i spoke to the midwife at the EPU to arrange my scan she seemed nice so hopefully Tuesday will be good news with smiling faces.