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Pregnancy

how are people coping being pregnant at under 20

39 replies

Rachael17 · 25/04/2003 13:04

hello is anybody under 20 an pregnant. what kind of support are you getting????

OP posts:
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WideWebWitch · 25/04/2003 14:30

Rachel17, I'm not 17 but I didn't want you to think your message was being ignored. Welcome to mumsnet. What kind of support do you need? I'm sure someone can point you in the right direction if you tell us.

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zebra · 25/04/2003 14:42

My mom and my grandmother both had twins (immense surprise) when they were 18yo. I know it was diabolically stressful for my mother first few months.

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SamboM · 25/04/2003 16:26

hello Rachael17, try www.babycentre.co.uk/bbs/545214/

this a board esp for teenaged parents so you should get plenty of support there!

Good luck

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EmmaTMG · 25/04/2003 16:39

The bounty site is good as well, there are lots of young mums there. Mumsnet is better of course and we all support eachother, so I hope we can all help here.
I think it's www.bounty.com

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SamboM · 25/04/2003 16:56

Sorry I didn't mean to imply that you won't get help here too (as you can see!) Obviously Mumsnet is the best!!

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edgarcat · 25/04/2003 17:25

Message withdrawn

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eefs · 25/04/2003 17:31

Rachael, I can't do links sorry (quick lesson anyone), but have a look at this site, it's got some good positive feedback from a girl who went throught it alone at 17.
ryj_weeman.tripod.com/frontpage.html

I hope you are doing ok

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EmmaTMG · 25/04/2003 17:37

As Edgarcat say Racheal, keep posting and you'll soon wish you could get rid of us.
Hope you're back on soon as I and probably the whole membership base of Mumsnet will talk to anyone.

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Bekki · 25/04/2003 20:38

Hi Rachel17, I fell pregnant with my first when I was 17. I found it very shocking and distressing at first but when my mum calmed down and partner accepted my decision to keep it everything became a little easier. The one constant pressure that I had throughtout the pregnancy was accomadation. My partner and I lived in a shared house and knew that we couldn't bring a baby to the house, so in that way it ruined my pregnancy. Luckily 4 days before my due date the council came to our rescue and found us a little flat so that took instant pressure off us. i had post-natal depression after my son was born, whether this was because of my age or because I was a little bit run down with infections I 'm not to sure about. Oh sorry I'm telling you my life story. Anyway as long as you have a good support network amongst your family (don't rely on friends) and you have a realistic idea about how draining and lonely having a child can be then you can be better equiped to deal with these situations when it arrises. Be prepared to be looked down upon and even treated poorly when in labour by nurses (midwifes tend to be o.k), be prepared to feel completely out of place at mothers and toddlers (but persevere as you will need to talk to other mothers of all ages), but most of stay as cheerful as possible because your baby dosen't care about how old you are but you need to be positive to look after your baby properly. I am now 21, married, have a small yet nice house and I'm expecting my second child in September. It does get better.

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Marina · 26/04/2003 19:16

Hi Rachael, welcome to Mumsnet. I'm not under 20 (more like just under 40 ) but I wondered if you had been in touch with your local hospital or your GP about your pregnancy. Our local NHS Trust runs a special project called Mothers of Tomorrow with dedicated midwives and other community-based support for younger mums. It might be worth asking. I met one of the MoT midwives and there was nothing she wouldn't do to help her clients through pregnancy. She had been there herself once and she was just inspiring. I am in SE London but am sure other hospitals must have dedicated teams like this too. Good luck.

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Rachael17 · 27/04/2003 11:30

heya thank you all so much for replying im so touched there are so many people who want to help. im trying to deal with my mother being bossy and overbearing at the moment but hopefully she'll calm down soon or else ill have to move out of home. i have my first midwives appointment tomoro an im a bit nervous as i dont know what to expect.any tips

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edgarcat · 27/04/2003 11:35

Message withdrawn

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kirby · 28/04/2003 10:12

its hard because people judge u and think ya single mums to be, but there is a gr8 way forward just think bout ya lil bundle of joy! xx

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slug · 28/04/2003 10:25

Congratulations Rachael17. One of my closest friends was pregnant at 17. She has since gone on to have another child, gone to univeristy, gained a MSc and now has an incredibly well paid job with lots of international travel. Despite being the same age as me, her youngest child babysits my 18 month old. So think of it as a positive. You will be over the most financially demanding bit of parenthood while you are still young.

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mum2toby · 28/04/2003 10:26

Congrats to you too Kirby!!!

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miriamw · 28/04/2003 10:43

Rachael17, you asked what to expect at your first midwife appointment: they will go through your medical history, and whether anyone in your family has had any problems too, so worth making sure you're up to date with that (I had to check - and you may need to know whether there are any inherited coniditions in your partner's family too). You will have bloods taken to check for iron levels, whether you're immune to rubella, and whether you have any std (can't remember whether the latter is voluntary or not). You will need to provide a urine sample too. Otherwise you should get tons of information, and plenty of opportunities to ask questions.

Good luck

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kirby · 28/04/2003 11:36

hey thanx mum2toby, im only 16 do u think im 2 young? but i have a stable relationship with my fiancee! xx

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mum2toby · 28/04/2003 12:33

Kirby - You are very young, but you seem to have planned it. It is a life changing event in every possible way from emotional to physical and it'll be a shock to your system as it is with every new Mum.
How long have you been with your Fiance?? My dp and I had only been together 9 months when I got pregnant. Although we were both happy we put a lot of strain onto the relationship. We feel we have come out of it strong though.

I too was engaged at 16. I loved him with all my heart and wanted children young. In hindsight I'm glad I didn't coz I wanted to go to Uni. Even through Uni and with fiance number 2 I still yearned for children. So I know how strong the feelings are.

Just think..... when your child is 18 you will only be 34!! Fantastic, they can take you to pub for a drink!!

And for Rachel and Kirby...... MUMSNET has been my saviour!!!!

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kirby · 28/04/2003 12:58

mum2toby u rule! thanx 4 all ya help and support! i know im young but i will b able to cope1 its good i will be youger when he or she is 18! talk to you tommorow xx

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edgarcat · 28/04/2003 13:04

Message withdrawn

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kirby · 28/04/2003 13:06

shes been very helpfull and im very glad! xx

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mum2toby · 28/04/2003 13:09

Thanx Kirby!!

Hey Edgarcat!!! You jealous??

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edgarcat · 28/04/2003 13:11

Message withdrawn

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Meanmum · 28/04/2003 13:13

Didn't I once? Maybe it's so long ago you've forgotten. Well, I still think you rule. Mind you mum2toby does too and not forgetting all those other mumsnetter's who give me great ideas, advice, laughs and help.

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mum2toby · 28/04/2003 13:14

Och Stop!! You guys!!! >blush

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