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Original poster

trying to hide pregnancy till 12 weeks, please help?!!!!

35 replies

1istrulyscrumptious · 11/04/2009 16:47

Hi am 6 weeks pg. and very pleased! however my friends have known that ive always liked a drink or two, so to suddenly stop going out would give them huge suspician..

yesterday went on a pub crawl and drank G and T all day without the G. it was brilliant.. they thought i was as pissed as them but i didnt have drop.

now my dilema is that my best friends hen weekend is happening this friday..its all about eatng, drinking and games, with 10 girl friends. I will only be 7 weeks pg and will not be drinking.. What do i do.. fain some sort of illness and not go, or go and try and trick them all again, or tell them.. My friend will be upset/annoyed if im not there but not sure im ready to tell the world yet. Help

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choufleur · 11/04/2009 16:49

can't you have some illness that means you need to take antibiotics, such as an ear infection, that way you can still go but have an excuse for not drinking.

congratulations btw

Original poster
1istrulyscrumptious · 11/04/2009 16:55

Thanks choufleur.. but played that card with a tooth infection at 5 weeks,,and to be fair they know ive always drunk on anti b's in the past.. im doomed.!

OP posts:
cupofteaplease · 11/04/2009 16:58

I have just posted in chat section about this very topic- I'm 8 weeks and have my BF's hen do next weekend. Have a look, I was given some good ideas.

Original poster
1istrulyscrumptious · 11/04/2009 17:05

cool, will do cupoftea..

OP posts:
tribpot · 11/04/2009 17:05

link to cupoftea's thread.

Congratulations. I had my own hen do at about 7 weeks and decided no-one was going to believe any excuse I came out with so I just told people the truth. But this isn't for everyone. I like the drink-switching suggested on the thread, although pity the poor friend who has to drink double!

Original poster
1istrulyscrumptious · 11/04/2009 17:17

Did this drink swapping with my other half on the pub crawl.. he was totally plastered.. it wasnt fun in the morning.. he was more sick than me!!

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Original poster
1istrulyscrumptious · 11/04/2009 17:23

plus..{sorry another moan} .at five weeks went for a dinner at friends house and for pudding she served up home made choci mouse my fave.. was asking how she made it before i dived in ,, then she informed me it was made with raw eggs. a sneaky trip to the loo and my BF stole it off my plate they thought he was very rude.. bless him.

OP posts:
manyhatson · 11/04/2009 20:31

I had similar problems as I'm well known for liking a glass or two. I just didn't go to anything that involved drinking - I would never have got away with not drinking when I was there. My friends sussed me anyway however so I needn't have missed out in the end

MichaelaS · 14/04/2009 12:10

I was about 7 weeks pg when we had our work christmas do - a meal out with the team, everyone knows i like a drink and it was a seated meal so no chance of mingling about holding a drink but not drinking it.

I told 2 of my favourite colleagues that I was TTC and in the 2 week wait period, so didn't want to drink much. I asked them not to tell everyone because "i didn't know if i might be pg, i'm probably not but we really want a baby" - it worked a treat. They agreed to help drink swap with me, and play down any attention to the amount I was drinking.

messymissy · 14/04/2009 12:51

Sorry if i sound old fashioned....but....I think its sad that you can;t go out for an evening without people being suspicious why you are not drinking - surely you dont have to if you dont want to. why does NOT drinking have to be made excuses for? Drink doesn't make the evening.

Think it would be easier to say you are on anti-b's and then you don't have to worry about swopping drinks.

themildmanneredjanitor · 14/04/2009 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cupofteaplease · 14/04/2009 12:59

I posted on this thread as I am due to go to a hen party on the weekend. I have just found out this morning that I have miscarried. I now don't feel like going, and if I do go, I think I will want to tell somebody as I am hardly going to be the life and soul.

BUT, I still remain glad I didn't tell all and sundry about being pregnant. I'd now have to spend the afternoon ringing around sharing the devestating news.

pginthecloset · 14/04/2009 13:01

TMMJ I think the idea is that you tell a few close people that you are pg, but not all and sundry.

When my SIL first got pg they literally told everyone within days of doing the test. She then very sadly miscarried at 6 weeks and had to "untell" every one.

Some people were still only just getting the news she was pg and sending her congratulations

pginthecloset · 14/04/2009 13:02

x posts cupsoftea. So sorry for your news x

messymissy · 14/04/2009 13:06

cupoftea - so sorry to hear that, dont know what to say, wish i could send you some hugs and support.

hackneybird · 14/04/2009 14:17

cupoftea, really sorry. I've been there and know how you feel. Take lots of good care of yourself, and I promise you will get through it.

You'll also get PG again.

See how you feel about the hen do in a few days time, it might help you to let your hair down and have a few bevvies. Do tell someone about it, and if you don't want to go then I am sure the bride will understand. If your friendship is close enough for her to invite you on her hen it should be strong enough for her to be good about it.

hackneybird · 14/04/2009 14:21

TMMJ - some people don't want to have to 'untell' lots of people if things go wrong, particularly if some people who know aren't that close. If they don't want to share the news they shouldn't have to.

It's just boring going into self imposed exile whilst trying to hide it! I've just 'come out' myself and it's a blessed relief.

thumbwitch · 14/04/2009 14:41

sorry to hear your news cupoftea.

When I was in early stages of pg I had to go to a wedding - didn't want to tell anyone and I was also known as a big drinker. I elected to have 1 half-glass of champagne for the toasts and nothing else as I was "desginated driver" for the evening.

Can you try that?

Original poster
1istrulyscrumptious · 14/04/2009 15:56

cupoftea im soo sorry. i have just posted a realy message on your thread but hadnt seen this one sorry.. i hope your ok hon ? I would go and TRY to have fun.. your freinds should be the perfect company for you. x

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Original poster
1istrulyscrumptious · 14/04/2009 16:06

thumbwitch it sounds like a plan.. but the pub is next door and so able to walk it.. think im going to use cystitis excuse. Im So bloody tired though think im going to be in bed at 9.. they are going to think im a complete light weight.

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Original poster
1istrulyscrumptious · 14/04/2009 16:10

messymissy, its true it doesnt make the evening but unfortunatly i was in the drinks trade for a long while and have always drunk with this particular freind, who is also a landlady.. so alcohol is part and parcel of our freindship.. however bad that is, its just how its always been.

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 14/04/2009 18:43

cystitis is a good excuse - not just the antibiotics but frequent loo trips in the night will make you tired as well, plus you get to drink cranberry juice to help with the cystitits (alcohol might just aggravate it!) - covered all bases really!

And you get to moan about how bloody hard it is to have recurrent cystitis (a common enough problem) - therefore you are really not going to drink alcohol with it this time because you really want the antibiotics to work!

messymissy · 15/04/2009 12:15

hi truly, harder if it was part and parcel of your job i guess.

When i was only a few weeks and did not want to tell anyone, it was easier as being a softy I was usually the designated driver so I was invariably on the soft drinks anyway. As the morning sickness kicked in (very early and on till week 19 arghh), it was impossible not to say anything as friends and family were being to think i was seriously ill!!!! (as my sister said in tears - is it a lump or a bump!!!)

hackneybird · 15/04/2009 12:55

Truly it might be worth preparing yourself to HAVE to tell a few folk - it sounds like it might be pretty obvious and people will guess. That happened to me, although everyone was very tactful and didn't say anything.

So hard isn't it. Cystitus is a good one though, wish I had thought of that....

valz · 15/04/2009 15:15

Hi Truly

I had this problem also, i was 6 weeks pregnant at xmas time, at this time i started getting sick with what i thought was a bug going round but after a week of constant vomiting and nausea i realised it was morning sickness. my husbabnds relations had went on and on to me about been pregnant, quizzing etc because i hadnt went out but i refused to tell, it really annoyed me how they constantly questioned me about been pregnant, i wasnt ready to tell and didnt until i was 14 weeks even though they had already their minds made up that i was. because they already kind of knew it spoiled the surprise of the news cuz this is my first but im actually having twins so i had a little extra too anounce which i was feeling quite smug about-sad i know!! if you dont want to tell, id stick to my guns and insist your on antibiotics for a severe ear ache or something and say thats why your not drinking. its nice having this time that only you and your man know the news so why tell just to satisfy wondering minds?! Congrats to you