Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

alcohol, I know it's been done to death but would like some advice...

83 replies

minxofmancunia · 09/04/2009 14:32

Am 18 weeks pg with number 2, so far this pg have had 3x small glasses of wine and 1 half a lager (on 4 separate occassions!)

Had the half last night with a curry, friend is coming for dinner tonight and will fancy a small (125ml I measure them out) glass of wine. Socilising again on Fri so was wondering if another glass of wine then would be too much.

That will be it for a while though, maybe a couple of weeks.

What do people think? There are such conflicting views and opinions everywhere. All i know is I didn't find out I was pg with dd until 8 weeks in and had been driknig like a fish the whole time (xmas parties, new year etc.). Felt incredibly guilty and abstained for the rest of pg bar a couple of glasses when I went overdue, dd was a happy accident, this oneis planned so have been good! dd was quite little when born though (although not low birthweigt) and had early jaundice and was poorly. She's fine now but have never forgiven myself, may be why I'm seeking reassurance!

OP posts:
sarah293 · 10/04/2009 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

brettgirl2 · 10/04/2009 18:19

That's probably true Riven, but I really don't think that the odd glass of wine is anywhere near as big a risk as many other things that are unavoidable.

mrsboogie · 10/04/2009 18:20

I agree that a lot is a relative term oonabhuna but I would say that "too much" is anything more than a couple of drinks a couple of times a week.

Longtalljosie · 10/04/2009 18:21

"it is a myth that it occurred more in the 70s"

I wasn't aware of any claims about FAS and the 70s. I was just picking a decade at random where people tended to drink moderately in pregnancy as a matter of course, and pointing out that if moderate drinking tended towards FAS, an awful lot of people born then would have it.

FAS is awful. But it's something brought about by an awful lot more than 1-2 units a week.

mrsboogie · 10/04/2009 18:25

I totally understand the need to find a reason riven it is human nature to want to make sense of something disastrous that happens but I didn't feel like I had done anything wrong to bring about my m/c - I just thought it had happened for reasons that were out of my control and was therefore unavoidable. They do say that there is very little you can do to either cause or prevent a miscarriage so that kind of helped.

sarah293 · 10/04/2009 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

katendmom · 10/04/2009 18:30

So many of you are right - how to know for sure, where to draw the line. I asked my doctor and she (note - she!) said that if you just can't say "no" to yourself, you can have a VERY occasional (I would think no more than a couple times a month I guess) glass of wine but make sure that you drink a lot of water along with it (I guess to dilute it?). With me it is not so much wine but beer - I love it and miss the taste of it. So I would allow myself like 3-4 sips once a week. That does it for me and hopefully doesn't harm the baby

brettgirl2 · 10/04/2009 18:43

But surely that's the point isn't it Riven? We all have the information to make a personal, educated decision based on the information presented?

One of the reasons that doctors are so frightened by alcohol is that many people think that one unit equates to a large glass of red.

MustHaveaVeryShortMemory · 10/04/2009 19:17

NOTHING is 100% safe... Even things that used to be recommended (liver) and are really good for you in moderation (oily fish).

I could abstain for 9 months but I'm following the RCOG guidelines which seem very reasonable.

"Which is why the RCOG has consistently stated that women should avoid drinking excessive amounts of alcohol when pregnant but there is no evidence that drinking 1 to 2 units once or twice a week is harmful."

Everything in moderation. Worry too much about a glass of wine and you've probably just done more damage than if you'd just had one....

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 10/04/2009 19:32

I have said this on every thread about behaviour in PG but it won't hrut to say it again. If you want to improve the rate of maternal and infant survival, and help more women have healthy PGs and give birth to healthy babies, then forget all this wanky fingerpointing and policing of women's behaviour. Try fundraising and campaigning for more funding for maternity services. Understaffed, underfunded materntiy units are the cause of far more problems, including maternal and infant death, than what PG women eat and drink.

manyhatson · 10/04/2009 20:17

When I was pregnant with DD I had a glass of champers at around 7 weeks (to toast my Mum on the anniversary of her death) plus a half of Hoegaarden on every Friday evening. At Christmas (29 weeks) I had a couple of extra glasses here and there, but never more than 3-4 units in a given week over several days i.e. no binge.

I'm now 30 wks with no 2 and this time I've done more or less the same. I relish Friday evenings so I can have my half and occasionally I might have a small champers in addition to this (if it's a special occasion).

I drink any alcohol I have very slowly so don't get woozy and frankly I'd be surprised if my body doesn't break it down before each sip!

So, in summary, I do the 1-2 units, once or twice a week thing and forgive myself for my weakness. You complete abstainers are all so blimmin' self righteous! "9 months isn't a long time..." Well in my life it is!

I also have a single coffee (fresh) each day btw and I follow food rules pretty religiously including no peanuts (which is hell as I really crave peanut butter!).

manyhatson · 10/04/2009 20:19

solidgoldshagginbunnies TOO RIGHT!!

OonaghBhuna · 10/04/2009 20:20

Solidgoldshaggingbunnies- We are actually having a good debate here, I dont see any fingers being pointed, well apart from yours. Its good to have discussions with both points of view, isnt that how we all learn?

manyhatson · 10/04/2009 20:21

Must dash - am just about to have my beer now

brettgirl2 · 10/04/2009 20:23

I took solidgoldshaggingbunnies' finger pointing as a general point. The fact that our society looks to judge pg women for everything that they do, rather than it being directed at anyone on this thread?

pavlovthepregnantcat · 10/04/2009 20:24

Luckily for me, the choice is out of my hands, as, from 3wks pg I went right off alcohol, caffeine, and the smell of cigerette smoke makes me physically sick!

I would like to want a glass of wine, but I can't even look at a glass now, thankfully!

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 10/04/2009 20:55

Thanks BG2: I wasn't singling out anyone specifically.

minxofmancunia · 10/04/2009 20:57

manyhatson I've yet to meet a non drinker who isn't shall we say a little self righteous and sanctimonious, as if those of us who enjoy the odd drink are out of control harridans who recklessly throw caution to the wind at every opportunity .

Everyone has got their vices, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, excessive exercising/dieting etc.etc. the whole "can't you just manage without it for 9 months" argument is trite and tired.

Yes I could, but if I fancy 1 small drink now and again I'd like to be able to weigh up the risks myself using the best available EVIDENCE which I think is key here.

OP posts:
mrsboogie · 10/04/2009 21:00

manyhatson come back! you can have peanut butter - unless you have allergies in the immediate family. The no peanuts thing is no more!

Nekabu · 11/04/2009 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Nekabu · 11/04/2009 10:01

p.s., I didn't mean to insinuate that we shouldn't be aware of what's good/is bad to do and am very grateful for the advice and research that's been done. It's just the huge amount of tutting that goes on if you don't do it beyond the letter.

traceybath · 11/04/2009 10:12

I didn't drink in my first two pregnancies - but am now 24 weeks pregnant and have had 2 small glasses of champagne and one glass of wine. 3 units maximum as i measured them at home.

Will possibly have one glass of prosecco (pretty low alcohol) before the birth.

I think this is pretty reasonable and i always drink lots of water.

Also eat well and am pretty healthy.

We all have to weigh up the risks and make our own decisions and for me - the odd small glass of wine is fine.

manyhatson · 11/04/2009 20:46

mrsboogie unfortunately DH has hayfever and cat allergy so I stay off the peanuts.

Weak genetic stock, don't you know... ;)

StarlightMcEggzie · 11/04/2009 20:54

There is no evidence to suggest moderate consumption of alcohol is dangerous, despite A LOT of research trying to find some (in fact there is evidence going the other way) . Moderate consumption of diet coke is dangerous however, as is excessive consumption of broccoli.

It is sensible simply to consume in moderation.

paddyclamp · 11/04/2009 20:55

When I was preg the advise was 1 or 2 units once or twice a week...so i stuck to that (apart from during the first 12 weeks when i stopped completely)...my DS and DD are perfctly healthy and were a good weight too!

I was a bit blase went it came to food too, ate boiled eggs with soldiers and blue cheese but that's cos i figured i'd never got poisoned by blue cheese before so the odds were slim.

I think the "it's only 9 months argument" is a bit harsh, 9 months is a bloody long time when you're pregnant, uncomfortable and have the pregnancy police on your back!