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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Im really stuck on what to do and so bloody miserable! (bit long sorry)

27 replies

girlylala0807 · 24/02/2009 22:03

Im 33+2, and excited Im going to be a mummy.

However, im upset. Ive been ill this whole pregnancy and its really wearing me down now.

1st I had 23 weeks of 24 hr morning sickness, then my exzema(sp?) has been totally out of control, then I got a frozen shoulder, now im anemic and the midwife wants me to be tested for diabetes. Im actually sick of it all.

Ive refused to take iron tablets as they made me really really sick, if I go for the test for diabetes I have to fast for 12 hours or something which is going to make me really ill (I eat every few hours even through night)and basically im just totally pissed off.

Me and dh are close to falling out as I wanted a HB and the midwife team would have supported it...if he did, but he wont as he is worried something will go wrong, and to bee fair he wants me near drugs as I dont cope with pain well. BUt if I have this diabetes thing I think I read i have ti be induced and monitered and cant have a water birth and ARRRRGGGGGGG.

Basically im seriously stressed/tired/confused fed up of work and uni and everyting in my life seems to tally out of control!!!

Im dont know what to do, any suggestions would help. I know it all sounds like self pity but im a woman on the edge here!

Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 24/02/2009 22:12

Bump:

OP posts:

PottyCock · 24/02/2009 22:13

no advice but bumping for you.

homicidalmatriach · 24/02/2009 22:16

I had very bad pregnancies and spent much of the last one in hospital so I do understand how you feel. May I suggest you make an appointment with the supervisor of midwives and say 'I would like a homebirth. I understand that you would prefer me to be in hospital - so here's how I'd like it to be handled'. You will find they will agree to most things if the alternative is you trying to homebirth - induction is optional not required. The issue of baby size obviously matters and you need extra scans at the end of pregnancy.

But you are in the home stretch now (I know it doesn't feel like it but actually it's not long now - and once the baby is here you won't really remember this bit). I can tell you this with authority because I went back and did it again having had a shit time first time round!

You are doing fine - normal late pregnancy stuff. Sorry, not denigrating it but that's what it's like. By the second child you just roll your eyes and buy more paperbacks to read while you visit the hospital for the fifth time that week.

homicidalmatriach · 24/02/2009 22:16

Oh and it's worth it when the babies get here

MrsHappy · 24/02/2009 22:20

I'm not surprised you are struggling with that lot.

The anaemia - have you tried Floradix? It doesn't taste great but it might suit you better than the pills.

The frozen shoulder - when I get this it is a sign of stress. You can buy (from Boots) heated pad things that you stick on the sore bit (deep heat, for example, make them) and that might make it more comfortable.

I think if I were you I would also ask the GP to sign me off work for a week. IME they are normally only too willing to do that for stressing pregnant women. I'd also ask for a referral to a dermatologist. My friend has eczema which becomes terrible in pregnancy and her specialist is much better at helping with that than the GP.

Don't panic about diabetes yet. You may not have it and you have enough on your plate already.

I hope things start to look a bit more manageable soon. As others have said, you are in the homestretch now and before too long all of this will be a distant memory.

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 24/02/2009 22:20

Thanks,

The mention of a second child made me smile....after this never again!

Will keep in mind induction optional, I never knew that.

OP posts:

MrsHappy · 24/02/2009 22:24

Seriously, nature makes us forget all of the discomfort and misery.

If it didn't the world would be far less populated...

homicidalmatriach · 24/02/2009 22:24

I like Spatone for anaemia - worked for me!

You can't use heated pads in pregnancy btw.

Remember that anything offered to you in labour is optional - except the gas and air, that's hilarious and should be taken at every opportunity!

warthog · 24/02/2009 22:28

take heart. i had a terrible first pregnancy. such bad stomach problems that after the baby was born i weighed less than i ever have. i was induced. the whole experience was just horrid.

second time round was much, much better!

i second floradix. it helped me. i also have terrible eczema that gets worse in pregnancy. i used to lather myself in diprobase and only used cortisone cream if it got really bad (elocon).

try and get some time off.

talk to the mw. you might not need to be induced in which case you can still have that water birth.

take one day at a time.

no tips for the diabetes test i'm afraid. can you talk to a gp about it?

homicidalmatriach · 24/02/2009 22:31

Tip for diabetes test- don't do what I did and eat three doughnuts an hour beforehand .

You will (a) hiccup continually while the midwife laughs at you; (b) fail the test and (c) produce the most foul tasting and acidic vomit ever

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 24/02/2009 22:32

I had two weeks off sick week before last,

Last day at work a week on Saturday and done at uni end of March, so the end is near.

Thanks for all the tips everyone. I just never expected it to be this hard.

If anyone does know anymore about problems in birth if I have diabetes please let me know.

OP posts:

warthog · 24/02/2009 22:38

the other thing to remember is that as soon as that baby is out, all these problems just float away and you will have a gorgeous little baby.

Hawkmoth · 24/02/2009 22:44

They won't let you have a homebirth if you're too anaemic. Too much risk of bleeding. Second the suggestions that you dose up on alternative Iron sources.

Good luck with all the rest of the testing.

Does your DH know that you can still get pethedine if you want it at home? My DP is hoping that I don't have to go to hospital, as it would freak him out!

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 24/02/2009 22:47

I never knew that being anemic could be a problem when I gave birth...

Maybe I will go and pick up my new prescription after all..

The whole HB thing is a total nightmare,im not sure if DH and I falling out now is a good idea.

Just hate feeling like im being pushed around iyswim.

OP posts:

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 25/02/2009 09:03

Bump for anyone with ideas this morning

OP posts:

mrsgboring · 25/02/2009 09:27

My experience of the glucose test (assuming you're having a glucose tolerance test) is that the actual fasting bit is okay, much better than I thought. (And I eat all the time too) I took a packed lunch to eat the second it had finished. Afterwards I felt really wiped out and basically slept the whole afternoon, so don't plan anything for the second half of the day and don't drive yourself home from the hospital.

Pregnancy is, for some people (actually many more than you first realise) a really really really hard time. As another poster has said, what you're going through is utterly hard work and miserable, but not actually that unusual, I'm afraid to say.

Can't comment on the home birth thing - I'm far too high risk to be allowed one this time round and haven't ever wanted one really. But I think you need to address your feelings of "being pushed around." Think about what in particular you are/were looking for in a HB, why it's important to you, and therefore what aspects you will want to preserve if you have to go to hospital. Then you can do something about that and you and DH can approach it together as a problem solving exercise.

I wonder, are you mentally fighting against some of the medical care because you want to be well and therefore hating the tests, the pills etc? It's perfectly understandable if you are, (IMO this is an almost universal attitude at this stage of pg) but it's not actually very helpful psychologically because you start feeling like a powerless victim and then everything gets on top of you. Try to see yourself working in partnership with your obstetric care to address problems and get through the end of pregnancy - I've found it a far more useful and empowering way of thinking.

Sunflower100 · 25/02/2009 09:32

Hi girlylala - I'm also feeling pretty fed up too- been ill through pregnancy too. I sympathise with you as it can make you feel like a wreck.

What are your reasons for wanting a HB? Is it to do with being in control? I felt this but ended up being induced but I had a very positive birth experience with dd because although I was in hospital I said on my birth plan I would like to be left alone - and they did until I asked mw to stay in the final stages. I felt very much in control but with assurance that help and drugs were nearby if I needed them.

That may not be useful if your reasons for HB are different.

I've just been 'signed off' from work as been ill again and the relief is huge. I can now focus on resting and it has helped me think clearly about things- would that help you?

I'll hang on there with you- we are nearly there!!

Sunflower100 · 25/02/2009 09:33

Oh yes- I had the glucose test with both pgs and felt OK. Hungry but OK

Buda · 25/02/2009 09:36

Spatone is great. It is a liquid and you can take it in orange juice and you can't even tell it is there. Doesn't make you constipated. Worth a try for the iron as anemia can make you very tired and therefore more depressed.

Seeline · 25/02/2009 09:47

Poor you - I can really only back up what others have said. You really do forget about it all (well nearly!) once baby is born. I too had a horrible first pg - horrendous 24hr morning sickness for the first 4 months which left me totally exhausted, caught whooping cough at 6 months (don't ask!) whch again totally wore me out) and also had to have a GTT. that thank goodness was normal, but certainly agree take something with you to eat straight afterwards. I didn't and could barely manage the walk from teh maternity unit to the hospital canteen for my sticky bun! I was also very relieved that DH picked me up and drove me home as I couldn't have done that. For totally unrelated reasons the birth was pretty bad too. But working on the basis that it couldn't possibly be that bad again, 2.8 years later no. 2 arrived. You really haven't got long to go now. Get as much rest as you can - get a sick note if necessary, and just imagine holding your LO when it arrives. Good luck!

Seeline · 25/02/2009 09:48

Oh for got to say - drink orange jice with all your meals - it helps to absorb the iron.

purpleduck · 25/02/2009 09:50

Another vote for floradix

christiana · 25/02/2009 09:56

Message withdrawn

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding · 25/02/2009 10:13

girlylala...

DEFINITELY take iron - suggestions of spatone and floradix both good, I know what you mean about the horrid stuff they prescribe...

however with low iron/anaemia you WILL FEEL RUBBISH! It will be making everything much worse (I know, I've been there)

I didn't like being pg, and struggled with the early bit of being a mum (tis bloody hard) and I said 'never again' many many times...

ds now 13 mo and I appear to be pg with no 2. Am not quite sure what happened there

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding · 25/02/2009 10:14

yep anaemia also a prob at birth - think simply cos u can't afford to lose blood.

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